I really love this story. I think that it would make a great manga series or anime. There are only a few things I would change. I think that Chloe, Mandi, and Ami should have had a bigger role in the story. I understand that you were juggling a lot of characters, but I think that they should have had more to do with the plot; especially the prophesy. Also, I think that some of the character's back stories could have been elaborated on more. I wanted to know more about Sekat, Marton, Yakumi, and Keshsat. I also wanted to know more about Sasaki's past, Eric's future, and about Rei's present: how she got to be in that state, and how she is related to Takmet.

I really love the characterization that went into the story and the relationship between Takmet and Chloe. I kind of wish there could have been more relationships as strong as their love for each other was. If you ever do a rewrite of this story, I would love to see more of a relationship between Chloe and her hookup (I won't give it away who her hookup is for the people who are still reading). I also wanted to see more of Seti's character because he was interesting and I didn't feel that he got enough show time.

All that being said, I think that the story was very entertaining to read and very creative. I could really see this being an animated television series or comic! I hope that it becomes one or the other or both in the future!

I like this.

I'd just like to point out that it was Ancient Egyptian custom that the pharaoh and other high ranking figures to have shaved heads.

i loved the story, good job writing it! )

You did a good job. This is a pretty nice story :) I don't have much to had only that I would have liked to see more interaction between Sasaki, her mother and Seti :D Other than that I give it a really big aproving smile «. Keep going

This story is just getting good keep up good stories like this.

Whoa that was one of the most amazing stories I have ever read since I come on fictionpress and you can look on my page that I read alot of stories but yours are in the top 10 of my favorites in my book. Give yourself a pat on the back. Keep up the awesome work :D

sweet :D

i read this about one or two years ago. seeing as i am addicted to egypt its the perfect fic for me. :D wonderful job.

I loved your story. It was fresh and well written with orginal characters and an awesome twist on mythology! Keep the awsome work up!

Yu-gi-oh had absolutely nothing to do with this story. ; Interesting thought though. I started writing this story almost 6 years ago, and I think finished it around 3 years ago. I looked at some Yu-gi-Oh release dates for the US and couldn't find anything earlier than 2002_ Funny how good ideas(ie: Egypt) seem to pop up one after the other. I think I even started it before the new Mummy movie came out, but I was definitely writing it during. I was very miffed though when the second movie came out and the concept of past lives was similar to my own(like I said, people seem to think of the same good ideas at the same time, regardless)._;;

Hey, what's wrong with that? We don't know what linhgo the Egyptians used. Besides, this is Bellsandy's story and a personal touch has been added. I'm an anime lover too, so go! I'm guessing Yu-Gi-Oh! had something to do with this fic, but I may be wrong. But I like what I've read so far!

Ya know, sneeze...this is a story. And it's fictional. And the Egyptians don't speak English. They're only hearing English. Some sort of magic is translating it for them. I don't know if Sasaki is doing it unintentionally, but they're definitely not "speaking" English. I admit Sasaki is a little Mary-Sueish in the beginning-I had to start somewhere. But I've been told it gets better_;

what the f* is going on with this story? If you found yourself in ancient egypt you wouldn't be so f*ing calm. And what's with the egyptians speaking perfect english and saying s* like "no more mister nice guy"? your main character is SO mary sue it is almost painful! Yuck!

i am quite surprised
i thought that you would of had like...
10 reviewz
cuz this ficcie is EXCELLENT!
o yah
pleaz try 2 update ur website
that's where i first read/found about this story

This story is amazing. I've always been obssesed with ancient Egypt, and though I'm not really into the whole romance thing the love story was great. Wonderful job! :)