some of the grammar is very pretentious (I don't know any 15 year old who's not a megasnooty 'Im better than you' type of person that says partake or thus unironically, and I graduated high school 2 years early) and you switch verb tenses. also, I don't really think a bunch of tour guides would fall in love with a 15 year old enough to give her a name in their language in 2 weeks. You didnt establish a strong or positive relationship between her and the tour guides/whatever for them to be as fond of her as you describe. Also, I've never been to egypt so I dont really know, but wouldn't their be pre-establish tour routes to all the pyramids? Like buses and stuff? If not that, probably large groups of tourists travelling together. idk why they'd need a private caravan to go to a pyramid thats probably frequented by tourists, or if you'd even be allowed to freely roam and approach ancient landmarks. Also, I know for sure you're not allowed close enough to any of the landmarks, like sphinxes, to touch them, especially if you're a white american teenager

I read this when I was a lot younger and I continually go back to this story. Even when I have moved on to that newer reading site (yes, we alk know what app that is), I go back to fictionpress for stories like these. This is legacy.

Simply amazing!
I'd have loved to see Max and Tut together xD
But this ending feels more real..
Hanna.

This was a nice story and coincidentally I just started the Egyptian chapter in world history :3

I really enjoyed this story! The characters, the story/plot, the whole ting. It was well written and not too slow and not too fast either. I hope they get to be together in the end

How in the HECK does a laptop work in ancient times? pathetic story telling.

I was enjoying the story until then. I'm not reading any more.

Interesting. Very interesting.

the only reason that is keeping me from tracking you down and KILLING you is that I know that there is a sequel. So help me, if they do not end up together I do NOT know what I will do to you.

WHA! Wait Tut can't fall in love with her! it will change the course of history! *shrug* oh well who cares? it's fantasy! But still!

You know something? Half way through this chapter I paused to argue with myself if it was possible for a thousand year old dead pharaoh could say 'yeah'. After much argument (I was arguing both ways with myself, its a skill trust me) I have decided that it is possible but not probable for the pharaoh to use the word 'yeah'. Because though it is deemed to be a fairly new word it might have been an old one that was recently rediscovered by modern teenagers. But it is not probable because pharaohs are supposed to keep an image which includes their way of speech.

Don't mind me. I'm just an avid debater.

Hi I really like your story. Just found it now. Actually I saw the sequel first but decided I wanted to read this first. Good decision. Sorry for not reviewing earlier I wanted to see if this was as good as I thought it was. It is so far. Great job. Just one question. How in the world does internet work if it wasn't invented yet? Maxine's internet connection must be really strong to reach thousands of years into the future.

Love this story! Please update for the sequel and great job on the story!

Peace,

Bubbly Girl

I love your story. It's amazing and so portrayed the characters emotions so well. I loved all of it. I'm on my way to the read the sequel right now. Great story.

ohh my gosh I loved it I dont read stories like this but It caught my attention I would love to read more

Amazing story you did a awesome job :D

oh my god! this is a brilliant story, i'm going to read the sequel as soon as i can! cya later ~ Alenor

Fantastic story and I am no big grammar expect but I did seem a few mistakes spelling wise but otherwise than that it didn’t take away from me enjoying it very much. I know how it can be with writer’s block, I am plagued with every second of every day :P but I heading off now to read the first chapter of your sequel.