Reviews for Lady in Waiting
Play.Dead chapter 25 . 9/1/2003
Wow. That turned out lovely! I loved it.
poohba chapter 25 . 8/4/2003
This was beautiful! I loved this story.

I'm not so sure I liked the epilogue. She just got him all to herself and then he died! (I know, he didn't die right away, but it seems like he did, having skipped all those years.)

Maybe you could mention "Rex" some other way, in the last chapter. You could say Vorn was going to let Queen Leda's son rule there when he came of age... and let us smart readers figure out who fathered him. *It's obvious!*

IWhat parts did you like?

All the parts where Elfia and Juniper are together. _ The parts with the Merriweathers and when they're traveling, especially. They could be themselves then and be happy.

I loved how the ending seemed like a fresh start in a new land.

What parts didn’t you like?

It's not that I didn't like it, but the first few chapters were kind of long. I admit that I got about 2/3s of the way into them and then just started skimming.

Which characters did you like?

Elfia and Juniper, obviously. (I love how they tease each other.) And Queen Belle (I believe I mentioned that before.) Captain Hawkeye too.

Which characters didn’t you like?/ feel weren’t developed enough?

Oddly enough... Trent. He was very one-dimensional. He was the villian. You knew he was going to be the villian from the beginning... the scheming, backstabbing younger brother. He didn't seem to have any reedeming qualities at all.

If he was such a ladies' man he must have had a charming side too, right? Maybe you could show that first, and then let his dark and devious side show through that.

Is Elfia a sympathetic enough heroine?

I think so. She's not perfect, but who is and who wants to read about someone who is? I think her first marriage says a lot about her. She did her duty, even though she didn't love him... but when her passionate side burst out... better watch it!

Oh and can you think of a better title?

How about "Silverwood"? It sounds mystical and alluring... And this book is the story of Silverwood as much as it is the story of Elfia.

Anyway... Thank you much for writing this! If you ever get it published I want to buy a copy! It's a wonderful story. I look forward to reading anything else by you too.
poohba chapter 23 . 8/4/2003
More surprises! But I'm glad Silvia has a grandfather that loves her. I always liked Captain Hawkeye. (And maybe Rose can be happy with her Paris too.)

Now if only Juniper doesn't die!

Please don't let him die! He has to come back to Elfia and Silvia... and lead all these people in their new idyllic little home.

I'm almost scared to turn to the next chapter, but I'm going to force myself to do it, because I know you wouldn't write this wonderful story just to ruin it with an unhappy ending... would you?
poohba chapter 22 . 8/4/2003
I hadn't forgotten about the twin thingy. I was actually surprised that Silvia didn't wind up being twins. I thought Elfia would have to give one up or something.

I don't know *why* I never put two and two together and realized Borfa and Juniper looked so much alike because they were brothers - but I didn't. That caught me completely by surprise.

The whole Trent rape scene was just *ick*. It probably fits. It's within character... But... *ick.*
poohba chapter 20 . 8/4/2003
This chapter was an interesting departure. Alway from all the worries of the war and Trent... they could just concentrate on each other and the task at hand of building this new civilization. I enjoyed it... beta-read or not.
poohba chapter 19 . 8/4/2003
I know Juniper's a strong man, but I had a hard time believing he wouldn't stay the night in Elfia's chambers when they had to give up Silvia or when his mother died. It seems like he would have needed her then.

I knew that spy was going to mean trouble for Elfia... But, then this secret ship is revealed. Will they be safe on it?
poohba chapter 18 . 8/4/2003
Hmm. Amelia's death just seems a little bit too convenient for Trent's purposes to me.

What a cliffhanger, though! I had to restrain myself from going on directly to the next chapter to find out who the next victim is...

But I wanted to mention, that if you ever decide to expand this story further... maybe add a little bit of how Silvia and the other kids were rescued. That part where Juniper just shows up with her at the chamber door seemed abrupt to me, somehow. Maybe he could tell Elfia what happened?

Just a suggestion.

Now, I must read on!
poohba chapter 16 . 8/4/2003
Oh, I'm so happy Juniper got to have some role in his daughter's naming. In a perfect world, he would have been able to claim her paternity... but even Silverwood isn't perfect.

His mother seems pretty cool. I love characters like hers.

But there are so many others working against Elfia and Juniper's love. I'm not even sure what to think about Rose.

I'm nervous. Happy ending or no?
poohba chapter 10 . 8/4/2003
Beautiful, beautiful job on this chapter. This wasn't sex, it was making love. There's a difference. (The dear widow's husband didn't seem to realize that... How fortunate Juniper does!)

I am sorry for Rose, though.

Have you ever read "Katherine" by Anya Seton? It kind of has the same tone as this story. It's historical fiction about John of Gaunt, one of Edward the Third's sons, and his longtime mistress in 14th Century England. As I'm reading your story, I can't help it... Juniper reminds me of John and Elfia reminds me of Katherine.
poohba chapter 8 . 8/4/2003
Oh, I had a feeling it was going to go like this. I like Juniper a lot, though. He's everything a handsome young prince should be. You can't fault Elfia for falling in love with him.

Poor Borfa, though. He can't help being a rough sailor. He's likeable in his own way.

I have a feeling more complications are coming... I can't wait to read on.
poohba chapter 4 . 8/3/2003
I just stumbled across this story, and only had a chance to read a few chapters so far, but what a great beginning!

I'm marking this on my favorites list so I can find it again to read the rest!
lilyofthevalley5 chapter 25 . 7/28/2003
What parts did you like?

I thought that the reactions of the characters were well thought out. And I loved how Elfia was practical. Like when she gave her ring to the guard. It didn't sound like a fairy tale where everything turns out all right. Because that is not reality. IMO a well-written story even if the setting is fictional the human emotions and the fact that everything does not turn out perfect has to followed. Just a little rant. :)

What parts didn't you like?

I thought the fact that people didn't realize Elfia and Jumiper were having an affair didn't make sense.

Which characters did you like?

I loved Juniper, the Queen, and Elfia. I liked way he was portrayed of course. I liked Elfia's father and Gauis.

Which characters didn't you like/feel weren't developed enough.

I think that the character of Leda wasnt' developed enough. Though she wasn't really essential enough. Or Kelia we never found out what happened to her. I kind of didn't get why alot of the chapters at first focused quite a bit on Rose and then it was just like she disappeared for about eight chapters or so.

Is Elfia a sympathetic enough heroine.

Probably not. But she is a character that you can identify with. She doesn't want to hurt anyone and tries to help everyone she can, but will do her best to get what she wants and puts her family first. I think most people are out to get what they can for themselves and are realistic about how much they can do for other people. They are realistic about it.

I can't think of a better title.

Overall I thought this story was one of the better ones I've read. Certainly better than the trashy romance novels that I sadly love to read. Double Thumbs up.
valties chapter 2 . 7/22/2003
I'm sorry. This isn't supposed to be a flame, but I just have to say, why the hell does Elfina feel ashamed to be a half-breed? I'm really caught up in the story so far. Love it.
Birdie4 chapter 25 . 7/5/2003
Well, thanks a milion for thanking me at the end! It maked me all gooey inside to know that I made someone else happy. Like I have said, time and time again, show the person that you liked their story by giving them some nice, long criticism; even if it isn't just compliments... (I've had quite a few of those before...) This story has been loads of fun to follow, and trust me, I have sucked in every last vowel until the very end! Your writing is wonderful and I will keep telling you over and over again, WRITE A BOOK! I have already said that I will be the first one in line to buy it!

As I have already mentioned in 'Jude', I'm really sorry that I haven't reviewed for the past three chapters! I work a full time job now and I'm always away on weekends. Plus, I'm leaving for London on the 16th, so I've been preparing my self for that, mentally and wardrobe-ly. I'll be there for three and a half weeks, so I don't think that I'll be reviewing any Jude for a while, so that's all the more reason to stuff in a chapter while I'm still loafing around America!

As for your questions, here is what I think...

What parts did you like?

My favorite part had to be when Elfia was dessed as a boy and Juniper had to sleep with the whore queen. I know that's a little strange, but all the emotions and jealousy that you put into Elfia made the entire plot at that second come to life. It was so amazingly detailed and well written that it was absolutly my favorite part of all. I mean, story-wise, it was terribly depressing, but literary-wise, it was great!

What parts didn’t you like?

I didn't like the parts where so much was being given to her, information ways that is. When Trent was just letting it all out that Borfa was his brother, the baby was really royalty and that sorts; I thought it was a bit too fast. Maybe what it needed were a few stratigically placed hints all around the story. For example: Borfa and Trent could have had the exact same eyes, given the exception that Borfa's were happy and full of life, but Trent's were souless and full of malice. Or something to that extent! I don't know, it's your story! You makes up something!

Which characters did you like?

I liked Juniper and Captain Hawkeye. Actually, I really liked Giaus too. They all just seemed like the most real and down to earth characters, besides Elfia, and added so much to the story. Besides the fact that he's a bastard, I liked Trent's character too. He was really well written and didn't throw us in for and loops or surprise character flaws. I also liked the Queen just because you always knew that she knew what was going on just a bit underneath the surface. Hawkeye was a great character but there was something wrong with the way he was. Oh! Look at the next question. Let me elaborate there.

Which characters didn’t you like?/ feel weren’t developed enough?

I loved Hawkeye in the end, maybe him being the loving father that Juniper needed made me melt for him, but there are a few underdeveloped things that I would have loved to have seen. Maybe Hawkeye looking after Juniper would have made his appearence as 'Dad' a little bit more believing. Like if you had him always next to Juniper, taking his side, or always having him watching his son from afar, it wouldn't have made his little confession such a confusing shocker. Trust me, I loved the idea, but it took me a few seconds to peice it all together. Then again, that could also be because I'm a bit slow at times... Other than that, I absolutly loved every character in this story. Even the idiot Borfa.

Is Elfia a sympathetic enough heroine?

I think that she was the most real character in your story. Besides the fact that she is the heroine, she was also the most down to earth, critical, comical, emotional, real person in the entire story. Maybe it's because you went into the nitty gritty details with her, but she seemed the most personal to me. She wasn't too sympathetic, but she had the right amount of hatred, jealousy, and God-fear in her to make her seem not so idealistic. I loved her character and would not change a thing about her! Elfia was the best and I really think that some people should strive to be as complassionate, caring, and loving as she was.

Oh and can you think of a better title?

How about "Elfia"?

I think it's one of those titles that speaks volumes in only 6 short letters, don't you? Just joking. The title has three different puns in it that make it extremely appropriate.

1. Lady in Waiting, well, that's what she was to Rose and to Juniper, the couple that she was coming between, so therefore, in that sense, it is perfect.

2. Lady in Waiting, she was always waiting in this story. Waiting for Juniper to come back, waiting for a time when the three could be together, she was waiting for a lot, so literally, she was a lady in waiting.

I know that last one was a bit stupid, but I like the title, so that was my two cents in.

All in all, I loved this story and I wouldn't change too much about, besides some of the stupid grimy details, but that's only to make it better. It has been so much fun reading this story and I think, that maybe if you wanted to, it would be one of the greatest romance novels on the shelves! I hope that someday you'll publish, but if not, at least post on so your loyal groupies can follow you around wherever you go! (Namely me...)

Forever and a day

~Cheers

Birdie

OH! I liked the epilouge. I didn't know that Juniper's son was on the throne. That explained a lot to me, but who are the uncles, or what... Family trees confuse me a bit. I'd straiten that out a little more!
syren2003 chapter 25 . 6/30/2003
aw.. its over! how sad... :( I loved the story! great work! :)
261 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 7 14 .. Last Next »