This is really awesome...sad, but awesome! In a short amount of words, you've managed to sum up a broken heart, a tormented soul, and another reason to why life sux! Love it! _!

-Faschia

very good! pretty dark, I love a good dark poem every now and then.

see...your the one whos dark and tormented...anyways i like this poem...its good for ur first one. u should write more poems. oh and btw:

1)I AM NOT DARK AND TORMENTED

2)I AM NOT DARK AND TORMENTED

3)I AM NOT DARK AND TORMENTED etc...

okay, for the part about advice, the only thing i can say is be original. use your own ideas, thoughts, creativity and emotions to write your poetry. poems always turn out better if you are writing them with emotion. just read my poem 'sweet memories'..its not very good but i wrote from my emotions and i think that helped. also..u need to hurry up n finish your other stories, my friend. especially faceless foe..i mean...uve already...ya kno...finished it...so post it dangit! **cough** sorry for the outburst. oh yah...n onemore thing: I AM NOT DARK AND TORMENTED I AM NOT DARK AND TORMENTED...and furthermore: I AM NOT DARK AND TORMENTED SO STOP CALLING ME THAT!

Ja ne, Keruseyu! ~Kaira-chan

nice - srry, can't really think of what else to say. . . o.0 doesn't seem totally connected (from one line to the next) but it does make sense

write more poetry !

Sweet moses! It was good! Hallelulja (how do one spell that?) for the poetry. It's good that it is not only me that like poems. .

Sorry I havn't written in sooooo long, but I was not able to get on the internet. Long story...

really kool,i dont know anything about poetry,takes me a week to write a poem that is 2 lines long...

Hmmm...Cool! good poem, but...it's a lil short...but i really liked it! _ _ _

i like it, but i'd like to hear more specifics, so many poets are so vague, the devil's in the details. Feelings are so much stronger if you link them with something real and personal. But thats just my preference.