This story was disturbing, dark, and sensual (somehow? I don't even know, I think Im just trying to sound intelligent XD) Anyways, I quite liked it, it was immensely interesting, even though the lack of backstory irked me. _' And dont be afraid of the monsters in your head, make friends with them instead. :)

Your writing, no matter how short (so far), is truly amazing.

/awesome job! keep up the good work!Ashlyn

Um... Well, it's really, really, really well written, but I'm not quite sure exactly what happened there in the end. o.O So, I'll just comment on the writing itself. The style is cool, and how you slip into an almost stream-of-consciousness bit when they get scared is really effective. Your descriptions (though morbid) are very good. It's not fair, however, to slip into what seems like a wonderful yaoi scene and turn it into...that. ;

really written nicely. i'm confused about the last part after tamerin says elliott and there's blood and everything afterwards. i got confused after that. i felt really sad reading this story though. not really freaked out, just sad. maybe you'll continue it?

Dour and sweet, haunting and sad. I like it: the mood is precisely rendered. You have the making of a nice longer story here, if you want, but even As Is the characters are easy to follow and interesting. :)

very good use of imagery, in my opinion your best yet, I am staring into a mirror. Very good use of imagery! The ending is awsome! Like i always say, ... hmm well i cant remember what i always say, so yea _

Oh wow...this was so well-written (and /dark/...but hey, I like dark! _ ), and the ending genuinely freaked me out...you're an awesome writer!

*gently hands Akira her medication* ~_ This was /shibby/... a lot like the rambling I write when I'm in a strange mood like that, only mine usually channels to poetry because I'm lazy This was cool though! *eyes sparkle* I loved the descriptions, and the twistedness of it all... waii, penguin! *Flair*