Reviews for Jack and Jill
sdalfkdjaslfkjdfasf chapter 10 . 5/21/2004
OMG! That was so sad, I cried! This story is incredible. You should really think of publishing a book of messed up, twisted nursery rhymes. Anyhoo, you did a great job. If you'd like I hope you'll take a look at my story and poems. Thanks.
~LonelyPhoenixFireDemon
O. Scarlette chapter 11 . 5/4/2004
omg this is totally awsome! hells yeah i need to read all the others now! excellent job! i think corrupted fairytales are my new obsession!
O. Scarlette chapter 6 . 5/3/2004
omg this is so bad ass. you have no idea. i luv the way you write i really do. and what yur doing withthe whole verse is beautiful. i'll finish reading this and yur other works later... bye!
Carter Tachikawa-not logged in chapter 10 . 3/20/2004
Ah, a creepy tone to the famous rhyme. It's sad that they had to die but I had feeling something like that would happen. Yet another wonderful story by you. I do hope you continue to write more of these twisted fairy tales and I will be sure to read them. Keep up the good work.
~CT
Calmly Chaotic chapter 10 . 2/10/2004
WOW. That was...wow. Great, awesome, amazing! I really loved it, the story was very creative. I wish I could think of better things to say... Good work, I can't wait to read more of your stories!
Ifylla Wyvern chapter 11 . 11/6/2003
wow. Cheese Peanut sent me here to read this. Depnessish. I suggest polishing it up with a few grammer checks (i ound a misplaced comma) and putting in a separation between the flasback and the "present." Oh, and I have my own fairy tales thing twistiness at as "Ana Lesli Dicatte" but its funny and not so very deep but incredibly twisted. its like all the fairy tales stuck together. read it please?
cheese peanut chapter 1 . 11/3/2003
this is the best story i have ever read in my life. you must, and i mean MUST publish it. I would totally buy it, force my friends to buy it and so on.
tsubasa chapter 11 . 8/23/2003
Despite my other pen name I'm not actually "evil".

Bob: Her hyper self has been deemed " " for being mischieveious.

Just something random.

Anyway, this story is okay. But I still like "Neverland" better. I actually really don't have too much to say about this one either. Although I can tell by your stories you like twisting fairy tales into a sort of a darker story huh? Not that I mind, I like reading dark and light stories. I think I'll read "Behind Sanity" next and leave another review. But since it's not FINISHED I'm afraid I'll end up loving it like "Neverland" and be left wondering. Damn.
Lisa chapter 11 . 7/30/2003
I swear... I will never, EVER, think of Jack and Jill as a mere, childhood nursery rhyme again. I loved how you added the dark touches towards this story. It's refreshing, since I've been mostly reading stories with happy endings lately. I also love the plot twist, characters, and details. I mean, I could actually picture myself up there by the well.

All in all, well done. I'm glad I've read this story.
Celtic Elf chapter 10 . 7/21/2003
Wow...this was truly amazing! I couldn't keep away from it! I read it in one day...I loved it so much and especially how you made the whole story to fit that nursery rhyme...Ill never think of it the same!
Falling-Hawk13 chapter 11 . 7/18/2003
Wow this is great i never thought of that rhyme in that way luv what u did to it but the ending is so sad. Great work

D.M.
Killer Tofu chapter 10 . 7/10/2003
Wow...what a twist. really good twist. What can i say? Just that it was written extremely well and jsut wow...
wargirl chapter 10 . 7/7/2003
oh mi god!that was amazing i never thought of that simple rhyme in that way. Very sad but i lovrd it. Great Writting.
ellecue chapter 11 . 6/18/2003
Very well done! I loved how you changed everything slightly, but still made it fit in. The dialogue was probably the best part of it; you use the right verbs the right way, and the speech is unique to each character and realistic. The sex was very tastefully done (I barely knew it was there), and I liked how you showed the victimization. The virgin rings were not described in as much detail as the rest of the story, but it was an interesting idea to add; did they really have them, I wondered?

The phrase "twisted tale" is especially apt, because there is a little twist on each of the tales... I hope you do manage to get something published!
justayellowduck chapter 7 . 6/17/2003
its really good so far, i noticed a spelling error.

"ā€œIā€™d like to be along now, John,ā€ she said through clenched teeth." i think the proper word would be "alone". ) Otherwise the story is great.
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