That. Was. Amazing. The whole chapter displayed such wonderful writing that I felt as if I was actually there, in Egypt, watching Setekh fall and then Nebt-Het running to him and Niet and Amon smiling to each other... It was truely a beautifully written chapter, and I hope you will continue this wonderful story!

I must say that I enjoyed this composition very much. It was wonderfully detailed, and I love the structure and vocabulary of you sentences. However, I think you might want to look into possessive nouns because I'm not certain about some of them therein.

'Tis differently put in reading standards, but nonetheless, it is very good. I would give it a great rating if I could, but as it seems Fiction Press does not have the 'recommendation' like FanFiction.

One question...where was the singing smiling face in all of this?

YES! Something with Egyptian mythology! I hate to say that I haven't read it yet but I AM going to. I just couldn't stop myself from leaving a comment. I'm backwards. _ About Hathor and the arrows, yes, I admit I stole that one from the Greek mythology; I couldn't come up with anything original as for how she causes people to fall in love. Errrrr...heh. Artistic license? _;; I hope you don't mind if I print this out and read it, Egyptian mythology, YES!

That was sure long! how do you have so much extra time on your hands? Anyway, I'm not done with it yet, but im saving it, (If thats okay with you. I wrote down my e-mail address if you need it) So far its really good! Keep up the good work.!