HEY, no da! I've read this already, no da, right? How'd you get your HTML tags to work, no da, even if they did show up? Mine refuse to comply with the rules no da! They show up and *don't* work... na no da! I wanna see the rest of Trigun no daaa! *sighs* O'course I won't be able to until I see u all again no da... but I'll whine about it newaz no da. You've got a few grammar errors (no da):

In the first sentence, there should be a period after 'braid', not a comma.

Seventh par., second sent: "She put the comb and..." U need a 'down' in there somewhere.

9th par, second sent. Semicolon after 'monk'.

15th par, 1st sent. No comma after 'beam'.

18th par, 1st sent. Period after 'nervously'.

I could go on... oh yes, while I'm at it, curious was misspelled somewhere in this. I'll stop now.

Hey, well, ttyl! Email me! Review WDL!

~Raist

i like it nda! It's funny and all and nda! I like Lisian. She's just a unique little child! More chapters soon!

WWOOOAAAHHHHH! ok then i guess its good

Hehe...I liked one peticular part in chapter 4 with the cat person...no one touches the tail..get your own! _

I only have one criticism. Even if the dialogue was great, because it was, it sounded as if we were actually listening to them talking, it's a little to dialogue orinated (Did I spell that right?) Try to include more descriptions of the characters and of the scenery so we, as the readers, get a better picture of the scene, more clear.

Other than that, I thought you did a great job! You finished it right? Or not? Either way, great and keep it up!

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

DDAaaaa.. i wikies. . it nice! new girl good! i didnt really.."get" the last few phrase sentence thingies. O.o sowwie. but i wanna see dis continued k?

Yay Go Kaylana! Second page in the fantasy section! It's too kool!

I loved it!

Is great that you got all thees reveivs too, I wish people would reveiw my stories as much.

*glares at all the people walking around.*

well Just wanted ta say it thought it was great!

-Yuko

That is absolutely the last time I allow Telemain to get on the internet without supervision, though I do agree with his comments. To translate for all you poor mortals to whom his language is clear as mud: he likes the story very much, he thinks Kaylana is an all-around excellent writer, and he wants her to write more. (As a matter of fact, so do I.)

Most definitely worthy of approval. I commend you on the quality of your vernacular workmanship, mastery of character interaction, and studious persuit of the supreme art of the convoluted plot. There seems, however, to be a minor dilemma: there are only four chapters currently available for public review. I am confident that you shall swiftly rectify this paltry oversight.

Look! I am REVIEWING! Amazing, ne? your story is funny and cool! (Really)

I love this! It's so cool! But, personally, I think that you should be writing for yourself, and not the jealous peoples who don't leave reviews cause they can't write as well! *sticks out tongue* This story is really good! I wanna find out what happens!

Lata

Rorie-chan

Aw man! Normally Original stories are hard for me to handle, cause the characters don't seem in-depth at all, especially in the beginning...but this isn't! I already have all the names down, and I think it's great! You're a great writer, you know that? I hope you continue this story, it's pretty awsome! *goes to read the rest*

Okay, my first comment before I review your chapter...Don't write for other people...write for yourself. People will read your work eventually, but you need to be confident that they will. But you should really be writing for yourself, not for others.

Now to your chapter, hehe. You had wonderful descriptions in this chapter. It's coming along very nicely. The dialogue once again was really good...and I feel like I am repeating myself, but really, very good. Keep up the good work and continue with the chapters. Writing shouldn't be a task, it should be something fun. _

*Laughs her butt off*

Always gotta have the big guys picking on the little guys but they end up getting hurt. _

Anyway, great descriptions and again, I love the dialogue! This is a lot better than the prologue was but the prologue was good non-the-less. Wonderful job.

What a refreshing fantasy piece. Hope you get those other reviews in soon, I'm anxious to see what happens.