Reviews for The Perfect Soldier, A New Life
KuroKage1717 chapter 9 . 1/7/2007
That was...incredible. I don't know how you do it, but you make every battle exciting and different - something I have trouble doing. This is great, thank you.
Aneedegorarose chapter 15 . 3/5/2006
onto the next one! can't wait, love the characters and everything, just wow... Best sunday i've had lol reading this
Aneedegorarose chapter 15 . 3/5/2006
Now I think it would be hard for anyone to come up with a better idea how to spend my weekend than to read your stories. Just amazing and now I'm moving swiftly onto the next one.. It's great seeing the characters grow lol.. just great work!
Aneedegorarose chapter 15 . 3/5/2006
Now I think it would be hard for anyone to come up with a better idea how to spend my weekend than to read your stories. Just amazing and now I'm moving swiftly onto the next one.. It's great seeing the characters grow lol.. just great work!
Aneedegorarose chapter 10 . 3/5/2006
Well I just finshed reading the first in the series and was amazed! But these stories are just the best. So much has happened in the story already, it moves a a fast pace and I just can't get over how much detail is in it all! The planes and the bombs attacking the first place were so graphic! and the Vagas scene, Just wow! Complete and utter wow... well I gotta get back to reading this.. I still have to do some homework for tomorrow but I'll put that on hold until I finish this lol. You Rock!
Jake Manning chapter 10 . 2/23/2006
Gr. i know his old units is gonna get back together sooner or later :D ic ant wiat till theyg et abck together and kick some serious ass :D
Jake Manning chapter 9 . 2/23/2006
That was the best chapter in any book i have ever read, and im serious. You have me wanting tor ead this chapter so much i could hardly concentrate duting my classes, thinking of all the things that would happen during the chapter. I would jsut like to thank you for writing such an awesome story. I bleieve you should publish this :D itd be a great seller
RipperRang chapter 1 . 12/6/2005
Alright, worse than last time. What the heck is this? I thought I was gonna give it another chance but... again the crap has hit the fan. Of course, this time it is beyond splattering all over the story, its jamming the fan's gears and overflowing the circuitry. What is this? Las Vegas shelled out... defended by... 287 men. Ohkkay. International Airports flattened. Righhtt. All in the US, where the military WOULD overcome a bunch of mutant soldiers. No.
RipperRang chapter 7 . 12/4/2005
Crap. I was told that it was good earlier on... but now I see that it is poor description, lame plotting and unrealistic, even for a engineered boy the army. Plus it gets real annoying how this boy somehow gets picked for everything...
kamui-kun chapter 2 . 10/20/2004
Okay, I've read your work and now I'm reviewing but using my own writing preferences as reference. Although I still say that it's good and I think that it has potential, it still needs a lot of improvements in many of categories ie. the supporting cast and the predictability of every mission given to Lance.

First of all, although you describe well the casts' appearances, they just don't stick to my mind. I can imagine them at first, but unless they show any distinguishing characteristics like any unique attitude or trait then I don't see any point in remembering their faces. For me, Perfect Soldier I's cast were all expendable soldiers. Now here I find myself staring at a new cast, fearing the same thing. The only person that I enjoyed reading was Mack cause he's the only one that has a real past and he's the only one that stood for his own feelings. Yes, it was wrong for him to explode like that, but at least he showed some powerful and real emotion different from the rest. And to be honest, in this one episode, I like him even more than Lance.

Second, I don't understand the purpose of these training episodes. Personally, I find them unnecessary cause it's as if the author's spoonfeeding unimportant information to the readers. If I was the author, I could just continue on with the story without writing how he got all his training and just assume that he learned it through his stay in the military. Of course, military buffs would enjoy reading such episodes, but in my case I just see this as one long lecture and I don't want to read of stuff like that. If Lance and the other guys did some intelligent bonding like one on one conversations and not merely testosterone filled competitions for once in a while then that would be better.

A raft mission? Oh, a gauntlet mission? Let me guess. Lance will singlehandedly bring victory to the whole group. Sorry but it's just so predictable. There doesn't even seem to be any worthy challenge for him. Sure, Stranus tried to give him a hard time, but I don't think that there even was the slightest of doubt whether Lance would be able to surpass what's given to him. After three paragraphs of dizzying and overcomplicated fight scenes, I just skimmed through the rest cause I found the others dragging. Besides, whether they win or not, it doesn't matter. All they get in return are bragging rights and a few measly incentives, nothing more.

And now Mack's all buddy buddy with Lance? I guess that's okay with one episode, but I do hope that he stays angry at Lance for taking this Matt's place. If you lose this one character that stands out from the rest then it'll be the same, unspirited cast as Perfect Soldier I.

"Williams, lung again. This stay stationary when I block." - eh? I have absolutely no idea what this means.

"Sir yes sir!" - I don't think you need to point this one out everytime they say it. It becomes repetitive and irritating after a while, more so with long chapters like these.

These are just the two most irritating ones. There are many more spelling and grammar errors in your work so better proofread some more. Still a good chapter, but it could've been better.
kamui-kun chapter 1 . 10/19/2004
Well, after a few days of inactivity I've decided to go on to Perfect Soldier II instead of Fallen Angel. The first PS really left me hanging so changing stories without getting some closure's a real pain. Plus, I'm also excited to see how much you've improved on your writing style since PSI. So here I go.

First of all, this was a nice recap episode. You gave the important details of PSI without being too repetitive, so I think new readers would not get too confused if they decide to skip the first one and join in on this one. Plus, you also gave a few hints of things to be resolved, like the unanswered questions about Jody and the Eclipse organization. Nicely done, my friend.

Well, once again the amount of detail that you place in the action scenes are really amazing. Very nice detail you've placed in that final chase scene - the one between Mack and Lance. Strangely, the obstacle course reminded me of American Gladiators, minus the part wherein the contestants beat each other with those padded sticks. Anyway, nice work.

Ahh... I see that we also have a whole new lineup of soldiers. I dunno if Pat, Jack, Rossi or the other guys would ever appear again; nevertheless, these new men seem pretty interesting enough to take their place. I'm especially intrigued with Mack cause unlike the other soldiers that are all buddy buds and friendly to Lance, he detests him. Plus, he also has a history behind him. Great job in creating this character. I'll be expecting more from him soon!

No real big problems seen here. Just some grammar and spelling errors. "You were told that your parents were not known, so your last name couldn't be determined, and since you went into the program, and have no official legal guardian, you did not require a last name, then the truth of your origin was revealed to you, and you still had no last name." - I thought that this was a bit too long and confusing. And you repeated 'last name' too much. A little tweaking could fix it.

Anyway, good start! I'll see when I can get to the next chapter! Keep it up!
NoMercy chapter 1 . 10/21/2003
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that "Expensive Bounty" is up ina revised from..I'm about 65% sure that it was you who said if I worked on some of the finer points it could become a good story. Anyway, all in all I appreciate (I think it was you) your review. Thanks, I will setup a review for you story soon also. I can't read it now but I plan on doing so soon.

-The one with No Mercy
imperfect chapter 3 . 7/16/2003
what exactly is the point of all this?
Alfred von Schlieffen chapter 1 . 5/1/2003
lol. california taken over. YOU WISH. wars aren't even fought like that. PLANES AND BOMBERS DECIDE WHO WINS, NO SOLDIERS LIKE IN WW2 AND VIETNAM. are you sure you are 17? i'm 14 and i've gotten MONEY for books. lol. i'd like to talk to you sometime if you have AOL IM.

~Alpha Leader~
Appok chapter 11 . 2/3/2003
Thanks for your advice. I'll be sure to edit my story. The reason i didn't include the reason why they were fighting the people in the camp was that its supposed to be a training axercise. I'm leaving that for the next chapter.
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