Reviews for Invisible
maiff chapter 18 . 4/9/2013
I think this is a good fic, because:
1. The essence of the story.
2. Parallelism of the beginning and ending (the "Take me away from here" factor).
3. Minimal grammatical and spelling errors.
but there are still a lot of points needed to be improved.
1. Format. I'm quite distracted with the way it was presented. Spacing, boldface and italics, in particular. But I'm guessing you haven't ended the tags in html?
2. The story could have expounded the main point more. IDK. I feel that there's something lacking. More details?
3. There's something missing between the relationship between Sophie and James. Or maybe the progress is too unrealistic... that's how I see it.

But, I enjoyed this fic anyways. Hope my review helps. :)
Dwindling Fire chapter 18 . 2/23/2010
woho! me likee (Y)
Dwindling Fire chapter 3 . 2/22/2010
er, that was kinda strange and sudden and im a tad confuzzled.. i shall go on! loll
StoriesAtMidnight chapter 18 . 7/11/2009
Nice :) I really liked this. Its a nice story, written well. Plus, its a unique spin on a pretty cliche story. :)
Dee chapter 18 . 7/2/2009
Good story! I enjoyed reading it. You fit a lot into 18 chapters :)
Erica71167 chapter 18 . 3/20/2009
Good story! I loved it. It had everything! Thanks!
Kimera77 chapter 18 . 3/8/2009
Great story! It has everything that's needed for success. Action, love and a great narrative, which allows the reader to be envolved in the action, but not drown by it. Keep it up!
Haley Hardcore chapter 18 . 12/30/2008
great story i loved it
christinaxxyo chapter 18 . 10/4/2008
I can't believe you managed to fit so much drama into 17 chapters. That's amazing. Sophie's past clashes at a few points in the story but in the end, it was still a really amazing story. :)
christinaxxyo chapter 17 . 10/4/2008
I really like the story but one thing that bothers me is how you said she never met her grandparents and she made them up. If she did then you probably shouldn't have had her grandparents mentioned when she thought she was going to die. Seeing as how her life flashed in HER eyes, she knew her grandparents weren't real so it doesn't really make sense if she never even met them. It's a minor detail but it bugged me xP
christinaxxyo chapter 1 . 10/2/2008
This is such an awesome prologue and I can't wait to find out more. You started it off really nicely. :D
jellybeancurd chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
whew! That was way INTENSE. Great Job!
eliza-smiles chapter 10 . 8/8/2008 i started to read the bit about James teaching Sophie how to use a gun Areo Smith's Jamie's Got a Gun started to play... creepy, but funny..

wicked story by the way..
Hazelnut Romance chapter 18 . 7/25/2008
hey! that was a cool ending. if there are any other stories. alert me!
AJS chapter 18 . 4/5/2008
This is kind of a weird fic. The beginning, and a lot of parts of it were extremely confusing. I don't now. It doesn't really seem like the relationship between James & Sophie was built up really well, and the title that you chose doesn't really fit, since the story focuses more so them running away than Sophie becoming not invisible. And why did she beg him to leave with her in the first place?

I don't know. Weird, confusing fic...

- Alyssa
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