Reviews for Pigeon Suite
JoyfullyStruggling chapter 1 . 4/21/2003
Hauntily beautiful. Gave me those type of chills you get sometimes, hehe
Willy-Chan chapter 1 . 9/6/2002
PIGEONS!
rainjewel chapter 1 . 4/23/2002
that was awesome! pigeons fun. hey, it doesn't necessarily matter what the inspiration is, but the poem it self. this poem is GREAT. abstract but still retaining the ability to be understood. very well done!
PhoenixDebonaire chapter 1 . 4/14/2002
Tickling the ears of angels...nice.

(expresses general approval of word usage and power)
Hotohoto chapter 1 . 4/5/2002
More morbid. Not a lot seemed morbid until V. And that's only me. Awwhhhh I need more vocab. But once I was there, poem dark and red and rapid and more! Mahahahaha(why do people laugh con 'a's?) Pigeon no longer able to fly! And, this poem wouldn't have worked if the bird wasn't a pigeon. Nice choice, eeeeeeeggaaaaaaa!
Absolute Evil chapter 1 . 4/2/2002
Dead Bird?
erisedilla chapter 1 . 4/2/2002
::screams and hides:: BIG WORDS! lol, AWESOME job... beautiful, it really is... deep, I'm truly frightened lol... who would have thought that a PIGEON could do this to you teeheehee... great job!
the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 4/2/2002
Absolutely amazing. The different sections to the poem, the division, made it seem like 6 different poems all tied together. The whole poem was like a story, a metaphor for loneliness.

The first group of stanzas comparing the two pigeons were simply beautiful. I love how you described the two, one princely, one very innocent. The line "both as foreign as truth" was beautiful and original, and foreshadowed the rest of the poem, the dawning of truth. The last stanza in that group, talking about the lone pigeon joining the other two, and the beginning of companionship and the end of loneliness was heartwrenching...you could feel the foreshadowing hanging over the poem.

The second group is also sad, talking about the two pigeons looking down on the lone pigeon that has suddenly joined their midst, and flying away disdainfully. I love the metaphor used of "joining Icarus" - possible foreshadowing of death?

The third group, talking about the pigeon following the other two, had a hopeful ring to it, but at the same time, an awfulness to it. That feeling was created by the line "clumsy wings/of self-constructed desperation" - it makes it seem like the pigeon is following them desperately, blindly.

The first stanza of the fourth group was full of the pigeon's ecstasy of flying so high, so near the other two pigeons, but the parenthesis you added in the last two lines, about being flawed and scarred, kind of jolted the reader back to earth. Again, more foreshadowing. The last stanzas of the fourth group once again plummeted the reader, and the pigeon as well, back to earth, almost like a rude interruption in the ecstasy of soaring with the other pigeons. It's as though the pigeon finally realizes that he is truly alone; that the other two pigeons just don't want him there.

The fifth group's metaphor of the pigeon being caught in the grasp of justice was searing truth. Talking of "surveying the land of the giants" gives the reader a sense of the pigeon being high and looking down at a world of "giants" that he can never be a part of. I loved the stanza about Satan having bitten off his wings. The pigeon "proclaiming his innocence" seems like he's screaming, "What did I do to deserve this?" The last stanza in the fifth group, about his screams tickling the ears of angels, seems to me that God and his angels have heard his cries, and merely find it a joke, or something to laugh about (because of the tickling part)...I dunno, I might be wrong about that.

The last group, about the world being silent, seems like the world is quiet in mourning for the lost pigeon. The second stanza in that group was beautiful, about his broken body "carnal in its glory"...that appeals to me for some reason. The line about the stars extinguishing the offending sun seems to be saying that the sun, cruel in beating down on the pigeon, has been pushed away by soft, twinkling stars (although there is a certain irony that the sun is a star). The last stanza: "And you lie,/peacefully,/in the night." was both peaceful and heartbreaking at once. The pigeon's spirit has finally been broken, yet there is a certain peace and calmness to it.

Excellent poem. Definitely going in my favorites list. Keep writing! :D
A.J.Peart chapter 1 . 4/1/2002
Because my computer is making a mockery of proper operation, I'm going to have to make this a relatively short review. I had started reviewing this earlier, going through it part by part, line by line, "tearing" it apart for meaning. However, since I currently have two help windows open and who knows how many system menus with them, I had better not try to redo that unless through an e-mail writen on someone elses computer.

I like it; I'd have to say that you've had a success with the whole part thing. Each part takes a different angle to that of the previous one, and carries its own meaning like the excess fat that gathers around peoples' waists. I suppose that's a somewhat negative image, but hey, it may look bad on the outside, but deep down inside that has a greater good meaing! Hmm...somehow that seems like the general argument made by the people who are assumed about, like overwheight people, smokers, failing students or people who drive taxis...interesting...

Anyway, I'm going to revert to the exclaimation method of judging the poem, so I'll give it 6 really big exclaimation points, so but that they would use our entire galaxy as the dot at its bottom - one for each part. Then, to extend out from that, I'll include 6 more points per part, about big enough to use a tiny partical as its point, only to prove that size really doesn't matter and that an exclaimation point is an exclaimation point regardless of size. I believe, if my math is up to par with what it should be, that would come to 4584 exclaimation points. I must admit, I'm not exactly a math wiz, so I could be off by a few figures.

P.S.

I now have 10 help windows and one system menu open. This is what my computer is doing. I think it's overheating or that there's something wrong with the input from my keyboard, 'cause it was perfectly fine in my room until I had a "disaster" of sorts and my room suddenly went from about 58oF to 72oF. I don't like the heat in my room! It's too bloody hot!

P.P.S.

If you don't hear from me in a while it's because I'm fighting with this problem and that it's too frustrating to write any
little miss muffet chapter 1 . 4/1/2002
Hey! Firstly...WOAH! I like it, i like it more than i could express with meagre words.

I was wondering if i could take an extract from this poem and use it to head a chapter in a book i'm writing (it's for private use, and totally jumbled) because it captures the feeling behind the chapter. Also, i have to say, i did a whole entry in my livejournal about a dead pigeon so i found this poem strangely familiar...i think perhaps mine was slightly more morbid though. Thanks for reviewing my poetry, i actually really admire your work and your opinion holds a lot of credibility with me (*snerk*feels like now i should be removing my head from your ass!). Thanks for my review, and if i can't use the extract hit me back? Anyways, i'd like to read some more of your stuff so i'm off to do that now

{{vibes}}
mike chapter 1 . 3/31/2002
fun! good poem... i have nothing to say.
Amber Moon chapter 1 . 3/31/2002
whoah. that was really...breathtaking...damn...

i'll try and read more later but i'm so busy lately. ja ne
Bo chapter 1 . 3/30/2002
Please, don't always think about blood, death, or something like that. I am pretty sure that you have a bright life and beautiful smile..oh my God. you know what, I am always killed by your "shinigami smile face". How about writting some happy poem for me to review next time? hehe, that must be so strange. Whatever, I expect your new work. I believe that I will also write the review for 1 ...
Amaris chapter 1 . 3/30/2002
Interesting poem...morbid? yes..i agree. I don't think I fully understood it though. Kinda strange inspiration for a poem I must agree.
Aviendha19 chapter 1 . 3/30/2002
i didnt really understand it all, but it affected me very deeply. especially the last suite, and the end of the first, and some places in between. it made me feel...sad, desperate. and all that in a pigeon!
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