Reviews for The Mercenary
Senga chapter 8 . 4/23/2003
Wow...all i can say is "Wow." that was probably one of the best stories i've ever read! it feels like you're watching a movie or something somewhat similar to that. In other words, it's REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD!

p.s. i just posted my first story, hope you'll read it.

Hope you'll update ASAP!
ying-chan chapter 8 . 3/15/2003
Really Good Story!

Very Realistic...and also Exciting!

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL CHPT. 9

P.S. Thanx for your thoughtful review :)
bobae chapter 8 . 11/20/2002
daaaang, that was GOOOD. read all 8 ch. in one row and now it's almost 2 a.m., so i gotta get some sleep for school tomorrow. hahahaa. well anyways, i saw that you haven't posted this in a while, and just wanted to say PLEASE DO! it's an amazing fic. i really like it. kokashi seems kinda cool, even though he's the enemy or w/e. i wanna learn how to fight like all your characters...so unfair. lol. i love the fighting scenes (EXTREMELY rare for me. i usually really really really hate 'em) yours are fun tho. alright, gonna go now. update sometime soon!
intricate simplicity chapter 8 . 8/30/2002
This was a cool chapter. I really liked it. Especially whith the taxi scene. Write more!
Lainiee chapter 8 . 8/25/2002
HAHAHA do I sense a bit of "gone in 60 seconds" in this story? hehehe. (ya know, the car going over the ramp and whatnot hehehe) Ne way, great chap, and Sean sounds like a fun guy. hehehehhe
aznistic chapter 8 . 8/24/2002
ahhh the taxi part was the COOLEST!
Bishonen Chaser chapter 8 . 8/23/2002
hey! i got to on the other comp but i still can't get to it on the one downstairs! sucks cause that's the one all my fics are on! well anyway, i loved the part with the taxi! haha! that was soooooooooooooo funny! seeing how i'm going to the DMV to get my learners permit tomorrow it made me feel better! i don't think i'll be trying anything like THAT tho! hehe! not that i don't think it wouldn't be fun! ttyl!
intricate simplicity chapter 7 . 8/10/2002
Poor Launch! Let nothing serious happen to her! Please, let Cole come to the rescue. Please update soon!
Bishonen Chaser chapter 7 . 8/8/2002
well i decided that since i liked DBT so much that why shouldn't i like The Mercenary as well? right? well, as always, i was right and i love the mercenary! it's great and i can't wait until the next chapter! you will let me know when u post more wont you? please! .* hehe! keep up the good work!
aznistic chapter 7 . 8/8/2002
to sleep forever... _ umm actually that would be kinda scary. but since I don't get enough sleep anyway, it'd be neat to rest for say 11 hours or so. but i'd end up getting bored, lol.

OMG! LOL THAT WAS SOOO FUNNY! COLE IS LIKE ZONING OUT AND BEING ALL SERIOUS LIKE, AND THEN LAUNCH IS OVER THERE, "HIROTO. H-I-R" LOLL! OMMMGGGGGGGG sorry that's really funny...

woah this is starting to get better and better _

AHAHAHA looks like the Commander's precious company is slowly beginning to dissolve, eh? Okay so maybe that's a long way away, but I can see the changes already!

For some reason, I thought Lauch was saying, "HOLY FUU!"

AHHHHHHHHHHH this story is beginning to get even better and better! AHHH!

AHHHH!
Lainiee chapter 7 . 8/7/2002
HAHa. . . well, sorry for not noticing this ne earlier. .. . .. nice chapter. .. lotsa STUPH. And the suspence builds. . . Who's this kokashi kid? Sounds like he'll be important in the near future .. . well, gonna stop my babbling, with a dead muse it's even effecting my reviewing. .. heh. ..
aznistic chapter 6 . 8/3/2002
Christian's not dead, is he? Cuz I mean... some flaws aside he could be a good character _ You know, he just has to learn a little about what honor means cuz I think he has a deluded version of it O_o. Update soon onegai!
FallingHero chapter 5 . 7/25/2002
you are a great writer. Update soon, I want to know what happens to Launch
Fukuzatsu Shojo chapter 6 . 6/2/2002
That was nice. Hope you'll be able to update while you're in vacation! Anywayz, JA!
Draymoore chapter 6 . 6/1/2002
Whew, thanks for not leaving us stranded there. Hmm, now we are still left to wonder what will happen between Launch and Cole... will she play up the tough girl act, and tell him to go? Will he play the silent, mysterious guy act, or will they actually talk? Hmm...

Oh, a word of constructive input, if you'll allow it :)

A caution when doing a rapid back-and-forth between two people of the same gender, the use of a pronoun can be quite confusing. As a writer, of course you know who you mean when you say "he" but it doesn't always come through so clearly to the reader. It's often best to use first and last names and descriptors. Like Cole could be Cole, Winters, the former mercenary, the boy, etc. But when you say Cole attacks and he blocks, then he gets cut... well, anyway, I hope I'm making some sense.

Just to be clear, I'm NOT getting down on your story, I am very much interested, I'm just trying to be helpful. Ahem. Yes. Have a good vacation.
52 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »