Reviews for Legend of the Phoenix
baditterbunnyqueen chapter 8 . 10/10/2005
These characters have great chemistry between them, and you handle dialogue with the skill of a pro. Each voice is easily identifiable even without qualifiers.

In my opinion, I think a little more sensory detail would enhance this piece. After all, it is a different environment and a unique situation the characters find themselves in, and more tangible details would help ground the readers more in their world. Just a suggestion, though.
The baava Project chapter 37 . 4/26/2005
Heya, Falcon! _~ I'm online, and at home, wonder of wonders. I finally have gotten to my mailbox, and lo and behold, there is an update from you! I'm very excited about this - I know how busy you've been and how hard it is to get your muse! LOL!

Oh, I loved the imagery at the beginning of this chapter - especially the part about the "dam," and the vision of the green capes. Nicely done.

And, AGH! You've left us on yet another cliffhanger! Dorei is such an intriguing character - I can't WAIT to see what she does next. And a chick with a scythe? Coolest of all. _

Great chapter, I hope you're able to update again soon.


Dracorum chapter 37 . 4/3/2005
I must say I'm devastated at the length of the chapter T_T just hoping you can finally join the battle in the next one, really looks promising :D
nynaeve77 chapter 4 . 4/3/2005
I like Joe. He seems pretty practical and has a good sense of humor.

So, the customer noticed Hikari's pendant, eh? Wonder what that's all about?
nynaeve77 chapter 2 . 4/3/2005
Goodness, you busted out the action right away! That's awesome, though. Poor Hikari...everyone wants to fight with him. Hee!

I'll leave you a more coherent review next time! Sorry it took me so long to get to this...I suck _
Darwin chapter 4 . 4/1/2005
Oof I can tell that I am going to have to go back and reread the chapters I had already gone through. My brain is on overload...

Anyway this was definitely a transitioning chapter, and the meat of the story is ahead of us. A wealthy man asking for a particular mercenary.

Surely this has something to do with the legends...

Will be back for more!


baditterbunnyqueen chapter 6 . 3/18/2005
I hope Hikari gives these guys what they deserve! It says something when you're rooting for assassins, but these guys really need it! Picking on farmers. Rotten guys.

I liked the action in this chapter. It moved a little fast for me. I would have liked a little more detail, but that's just me personally. The swiftness of the scene did convey the mayhem of battle and the fact that it is often hard to keep things straight with so much happening all at once.
baditterbunnyqueen chapter 5 . 3/18/2005
I adore Faia's character. You can tell she is quite cheerfully mad, and that makes for an interesting character. Poor Hikari. He is so over his head and he knows it. I hope he knows what he's doing, I can't wait to see where this goes!
baditterbunnyqueen chapter 4 . 3/18/2005
Joe is a very cool character. I like the camraderie between him and Hikari. You can tell Joe is a surrogate father figure, and a bigger brother, all rolled into one. I can't wait to see what the mysterious stranger is up to. Old men with money who need bodyguards are seldom up to any good.
baditterbunnyqueen chapter 3 . 3/18/2005
This was a very nice chapter, my favorite so far. It showed the vulnerability of Hikari. I liked the interaction with him and his mother. It was very sweet and humanizing. It makes me care about what happens to this character and worry about his future.
baditterbunnyqueen chapter 2 . 3/18/2005
I am very eager to see where this goes. I like the characters a lot. They don't fit the "merc" stereotype of strong and silent and usually very sour! These characters feel very human. The dialogue reads a little funny to me. It seems to clash a little with the fantasy background, but maybe that was what you were shooting for. In any case, it's a very interesting combination!
baditterbunnyqueen chapter 1 . 3/18/2005
Nicely done! I love the fairy-tale quality you've written here. I'm veyr intrigued with your premise and can't wait to see what happens next.
The baava Project chapter 36 . 2/19/2005
Aw, I like Hikari's mom. What a neat lady!

I'm going to copy you. More, please! _ I'll be sure to come by and review sooner!

~ LoK
The baava Project chapter 35 . 2/19/2005
O! A preserved underground city! Do we get to hear any more about that later? That's fun.

I had forgotten that Faia had tried to kill Hikari . . . so long ago! _;; It almost seems unreal, now.

Sweet, there's yet another chapter! Going on!

~ LoK
The baava Project chapter 34 . 2/19/2005
All righty! Now that I've read some of the things you posted on PBO, I can finally understand where you're coming from with your speech patterns - it is indeed very much like a game! And for some reason, that makes me feel better. *huge grin* Make a game, MMX, make a game . . .

[Now go on, before you start worrying your boyfriend."] Heeheeheehee! _ That's cute.


~ LoK
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