Reviews for Apotheosis (Deux es Machina)
Amaris chapter 1 . 2/23/2003
Who one day you'll be right. It probably will happen; if a body part's not good enough, just replace it until one is completely machine. I enjoy the parts of your poetry where you make associations with things that are "cultured." Like the piper you mention.
De Miles Justus chapter 1 . 9/1/2002
Hmm... it makes me think...

Apotheosis: the highpoint in a told story. Though I think the compromise of moral and ethics has always been the downfall of any and every system.

A paradox...

I like poems that make me think. Good work.
peachykeen chapter 1 . 6/9/2002
Interesting metaphore, little miss "I don't believe in God" Anyhow, it has nice imagry, although it appears to be rather bleak Trés bien!...Si senorita, si!
the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 5/30/2002
Wow...very powerful. The poem itself was mesmerizing! The last stanza was very thought-provoking. (You're baaaack...hehehe) :)
Impressionist chapter 1 . 5/28/2002
very nicely done. I've been waiting for some new content to gleefully review. :) A very interesting concept coming from a very interesting beginning. One thing that could have many meanings is the second last line "God is the machine". so did you capitalize that on purpose? It seems that when we compare something to being a god, we don't capitalize it. anywho, just the confused thoughts of me. wonderful.
Obake-chan chapter 1 . 5/27/2002
God is the machine! Heh. Hehe. Hehehehehehehehe. Ahem, anyways. A little physio involved, but I don't think you've lost your creativity. It's a lil' different from what you usually write. Robots, robots. But hey, I'm not a SF person, but you can make anything sound so hmmm.. dramatic, and great, and more. Be no machines(robots) in the future! (Please!)
Mike chapter 1 . 5/25/2002
Yes... sleep is very much the enemy... Anyways, nice poem, there is a good beat to it. However, on the third to last paragraph... be the puppets' master and control them seems... awkward, because it's basically the same thing w/ no imagery. I'm not sure how you could change it though.
in other words chapter 1 . 5/25/2002
Ooooo, Ahhhh!

That's quite the concept. :-o It's really really good, I love it!

mock
Phoenix Debonaire chapter 1 . 5/25/2002
. *I hate you, Mr. Massive Review Man*

*in a jealous way*
A.J.Peart chapter 1 . 5/25/2002
Have you ever read anything by Walt Whitman? I was "forced" to during first year english, but it's not that bad. His poems have a tendancy to run on for pages and pages. Anyway, he wrote a poem called "Sing the Body Electric," I believe there was a song made based on it, but I'm damned if I can remember who it was. It's basically about how the soul is essentially electric impulses that radiate along our nervous system, that radiate around us and create the feeling we get when people are around; they mingle with each other, drawing certain "signals" together, making people want to "connect," touch each other, whether as a friendly hug or a loving embrace kind of thing. I just thought that your poem here reflected that a bit.

It's not bad, a little "stand up and fight"ish, but that's all good. I like it, in fact. I like the character that you created with all the wires and electric currents and computer-based components and whatnot. Reminds me of something out of a bad sci-fi picture or Star Trek/Star Wars or something equally as futuristicly based. I get this weird picture of the "borg" in my head.

And, while you'd think there was some religious urging, much like promoting the belief in God or soemthing of the equivelent, it isn't a promotion either...not that it's saying don't believe either. "God is the machine" doesn't say who God is, meaning by any particular belief or understanding. Theoretically, "God" could be virtually anything, and is based on whatever is worshiped. It's like your obsession with Weezer where you might consider what'shisface (lead singer) to be a sort of god and thereby "worship" him, in a manner of speaking. "God is the machine. / Worship." is the machine God, teh entity that would be worshiped by a bunch of robots, by computers and their ofspring.

The computer controls our dayly lives, and without it we would be lost (currently). We've come too far to go back to what it was; we've seen to much of the future to love the past. So God has become the computer screen, the chip that regulates the fuel intake inside the engine of our car, the little ID tag implanted in our pets to avoid having them lost...the list goes on. I'm seeing "A.I. Artificial Inteligence" here now, more than Star Trek/Wars or anything else. All the robots designed to replace the need for human beigns. It's spooky, almost.

Okay, now I've ranted and raved about stuff that doesn't really even matter. Chances are pretty good that there are people out there who would challenge this stuff, but I don't care. I'm just sayin' what I wanna say and pressin' the submit button when I'm done. Using my computer to do it, too. Go fig.

Good poem, by the way. I can tell 'cause it spurred this much discussion stuff outta me. This is the kind of thing we'd do in my English seminars at school, so don't knock it 'till it's been read by someone other than your worst critic.