|Reviews for Vita Solum Fabulam Es|
| peachykeen chapter 1 . 12/26/2002
ok, so, are you ready for my well thought out review? (yeah I am) ok, here it goes:
1st stanza: this makes me think of when you stabbed yourself with my scissors - I'm sorry, but you got a scar, so yay!
2nd stanza: I feel like there's relevance in there being 10 steps, but I don't quite see it - perhaps it's the 10 commandments, but I'm not sure - maybe it's about religion holding you back and trying to take over, but you're free in the end? that sounds possible, but I don't know
3rd stanza: perserverance is one of my favorite words, although I rarely spell it correctly - nice transition
4th stanza: I'm just so confused - I don't understand what just happened at all - if it's about what I think it's about, then why does God want you to escape from his deathly grasp? this makes me think that I'm way off in my speculation
5th stanza (more like line): another nice transition, it works on many levels, ooo la la
6th stanza: eeek, I see a typo! tighly tightly, right? - I love the imagry here, again, multiple levels - nice use of repitition (too...)
7th stanza: the first 2 lines make me think of your mother, but the last 2 take me back to my old conclusion
8th stanza: eee! I love these lines! - it's like that thing that I don't know the word for right now, when you see through the haze and find the truth hidden behind it, and it changes your whole outlook - it's very impowering too
9th stanza: eee! I love these lines too! - fallible? - ooo la la, they give me the chills
10th stanza: so true, so true
11th stanza: another very nice transition by E-dog!
12th stanza: I'm really confused - I feel like the last show is the last day of life, and the curtain falling is death, but the last 2 lines...what obsession? - nice imagry though!
overall: tres bien! I like this one. yes, I know, how deep can I get?
| Katterree Fengari chapter 1 . 10/6/2002
FUN! shibby poem! _ tis nice
o, bout gulliblity- "Gullible is written on the ceiling." (tis a joke)
| Willy-Chan chapter 1 . 9/6/2002
I held a pigeon.
| erisedilla chapter 1 . 6/30/2002
I like it... it could be applied in so many different situations... but at the same time it's morbid and poe-ish... good job!
| Xaviera Xylira chapter 1 . 6/6/2002
So you say you're better at reviewing poetry? I'm better at reviewing stories. But since it's you, and since I'm once again mind-blown by this poem, I'll review.
I didn't really see much... um... morbid-ness in the poem. It was dark, certainly, but morbid, to me, means something a bit more gothic. (Did that even make sense? Oh well. I've given up on making sense...) This poem was really very outspoken, to me, at least. I love the two lines:
And yet, I'm free.
Because I wish to be free.
To me it means that if I believe in my own mind that I am free, and if I dream of all my freedom, then [the person you're talking about] has really no hold over me. Or no hold over you. Or... something.
See? I told you I was bad at this.
I like the way you worded it. In the end, you overcame that which bound you, even though you weren't necessarily rid of the bindings.
I'm just going to end this by saying that I simply loved it, it stunned me, and I stared at the review box trying to think what to say for ten minutes before I came out with this jumbled catastrophe. As always with your poetry, it was captivating and thought-provoking (Yes, your style has changed, but really it doesn't make much difference to me, because I still love them). I'm... going to... go away now.
| Amber Moon chapter 1 . 6/4/2002
The caged bird cannot sing...
this is exactly how i feel about relationships...and this just helped to put things into focus for me...*really* nice...excellent...i could go on forever...
| Amaris chapter 1 . 6/3/2002
I don't know how you do it... I mean your poems don't really scan and all but they are really very deep. They have so much feeling in them. Anyway, good job. Keep writing
| Penumbra chapter 1 . 6/2/2002
Wow, what a beautiful poem! I love every line...you have some great insights. Keep writing 'cause you got a lot of talent!
| Paradoxical Goddess chapter 1 . 6/1/2002
My goodness, definitely enjoyed this one. (Unfortunately for you, I am much worse as reviews and cannot even think of three paragraphs to give my message.)
Well, in any case, I think the "you have my soul" part is the best one. But I'm a bit partial to the gullibility of the heart.
| A.J.Peart chapter 1 . 6/1/2002
Let's begin with the first stanza. I see the repetition of history in it as well as our shadow in the world. I'll have to explain this now, yay! It's the beginnings of a lengthly review it seems.
First, the repetition of history: the fingers here have been ripped and torn, then set back together again "a million times." Each time, of course, the fingers would become less and less 'stable' and look less and less like fingers. So the more often that this happens, the more the fingers change, deform into something else.
Second, our shadow in the world: what I mean is the shadow that we cast in life, like the mark that we make from start to finish. Reminds me of the poem "The Almond Tree" by Derek Walcott (it might be plural "trees," I can't remember). Anyway, the fact that they are fingers emphasizes the way we reach out to touch things, people, and places. Over time, also, the shadow grows as the sun sets, causing it to stretch out and be something different than it was when it first started. It's like a measure of progression, and the size represents the impact on the world.
Okay, second stanza, making quick progress here. Continuing with the finger imagery, though in this case a slightly different direction. A ladder gets you from one level to the next. I keep thinking of the original Donkey Kong (which makes me feel really old) where Mario has to climb the ladders to get to the top and save the princess while Donkey Kong throws his barrels. It also suggests that the hands are tied together in that there are ten steps to this ladder, which could only happen if both hands were involved. So this character's hands are tied, meaning (generally) that there's nothing he/she can do to avoid doing something, usually against their will. The person who's tied up, though, seems to be the same person who's fingers are falling apart.
Stanza Three...all two lines of it.
Again, with "perseverance and faith" it reiterates the idea of going somewhere and making your mark. The progression through life, done so with "perseverance and faith" in hand, to get to the end, whether the reached goal or death or whatever else you can think of. Asking "Now what?" is often a common question, I think. Travelling from start to finish, there's no telling what will be waiting at the end. I mean, if you devote your life to, lets say, writing a book, and once you finally finish, is finishing really what you thought it to be? I remember hearing something somewhere that said that the journey is what's important, not the end. That's paraphrased, and it's probably some proverb or something, I don't remember, but it seems like there's confusion in the character's "voice."
I'm almost reminded of James Bond here, but that's only in the pathetic silly nature of the traps that Auston Powers played off of. It's like locking someone in a cell and dropping the key near the bars on your way out. However, that's beside the point, and totally worthless drivel. However, it does lead up to the ending of the poem.
I'm going to loop this single line with the next stanza to create: Stanza Five!
The fingers have become a bird...sort of. It relates the things that are done to the caged bird, this caged bird in particular, to get her to be so sedated, obviously. Although, it is obviously metaphor rather than fact. It's a common relation to compaire the ways in which our ego is battered by emotional games to being physically abused. The funny thing is, the abusee and the abuser are the same person, in most accounts. In the poem, that seems to be the case.
More cage imagery being thrown around here, only now it's the mind, which is essentially what I was talking about with stanza five. Being trapped in ones own mind is something that I suppose everyone goes through at some point or another, whether from overanalyzing a situation or just falling back into thought rather than seeking answers from outside sources.
Plus, if one is trapped inside ones own head, there's no one in there but themselves (multiple personality syndrome cases excluded), so the "dishonest dealers of luck" are, again, the same person as the caged individual. "The earthly chains of weakness" are like the natural, ingrained defence mechanism that we use to hide from mentally destructive things, like facing the death of a lvoed one or coping with the loss of a job...that sort of thing. (One of the few things I slightly remember from psychology.)
Here's faith again. Perseverence was clearly laid out with the whole repeating history thing while continuing on regardless, but the faith part wasn't really established...until now. This is like simply deciding that there's no reason to hide, losing the defence mechanism things, facing the fear, facing the truth, facing reality, life or whatever else fits the picture.
Of course, it also reflects back to stanza four, where our character is bound by the will/wish of whomever has done all this. It's like realizing the power of faith, and what you can do if you just focus and tell yourself that not only can you do it, but everything is going to be fine afterwords. The character has decided to create her own "Now what?" answer rather than waiting for it.
Stanza Eight, and just to save time, and because they basically flow together, I'm going to tie in the last two little bits to create one seven line stanza.
The tables have turned now, there has been a shift of gears where now they are both tied up. More to the point, they are tied together by this "exchange" of valuable things. However, the soul is a relatively fictional thing while the heart has a physical existance. So it could be said that the bird/finger person is *letting* this happen, all that is being "complained" about in the poem. Therefore, in stating that "love is blind," which is pretty much 100% true, it's a relatively hypocritical statement. They're in the same boat, paddling the same direction, but facing each other to do so...if you can picture what I mean. It just looks on the outside that they are paddling against each other, when they're really going the right way. Something like that.
I think, all in all, this poem could be inverted, meaning taken from the prisoner and slapped on the jailer, and it probably would be the same, if not similar, and follow the same flow. It just goes to show that life really is but a play, a drama that makes everyone cringe when they watch it 'cause in their head they wouldn't be acting that way. I know I often watch a show on TV where the characters are doing things, reacting in ways that I can't imagine ever doing, and I sit there thinking, "You stupid bastard! What the hell are you doing?" But that's beside the point!
Very good poem, quite discussable, if you couldn't tell already. It also seems that I've writen another mamoth review. Oh well, you don't have to read it all if you don't want. It's practically a short story on its own.
Talk to you later,
| Phoenix Debonaire chapter 1 . 5/31/2002
In this instance you copy from the Theodemous's Poem of Essay in such that it is a poem!
In this instance,*again*, you seem to desire more cookies, as well as the ability to turn into salt water.
I sense a distinct, erm, variance in this case of poem, you seem to not include the nightmarish quality of...demon hedgehogs? I suggest that you have your hedgehog fear examined by a psychoaristristical professionalistic person thing. Anyways, the inner desire to write is caused by your poem, you do not write the poem, it writes you
There is no spoon.
Anyhoo, you shouldn't include such none poetic instances such as the letters "a" and "o", or any vowel whatsoever. This is what detracts from poems in general.
The variance in your time self is a relative-istic cause of infant death, so writing about bouncing rubble attacks will cause more teeth to chatter.
I see. Anyways, good poem. Like the harsh pain inside of it.
| Impressionist chapter 1 . 5/31/2002
love it. I absolutely love it. Morbid, yes. Wonderful? definately. I like this idea in this. Almost reminded me of pinocciho. except WITH the strings. I don't know...I'm not very anylitical today. so sue me.
in repsonse to your question, I did it in HTML. All you have to do it have before the part you want italicized, and after. there ya go! it's JUST that easy
| the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 5/30/2002
Wow! You've been awfully busy...lots of new poems to read and enjoy - and review, of course. :)
This poem does sort of remind me of your poem "Pigeon Suite" (which by the way I'm nearly obsessed with...I even printed it out and stuck it on my bulletin board _)...probably because of the whole caged bird, unhealed wings...
This poem is angsty, yet has a tinge of hopefulness and optimism in it as well - the stanza "And yet, I'm free./Because I wish to be free." exemplifies this the best. :)
Keep writing! :D
| miss meaningeverythingtome chapter 1 . 5/29/2002
Yay! morbid- I love it. It wasn't cliche, it was awesome. You're way too talented for my health. lol. Thanks for reviewing too. I appreciate it. :) I love the part about the caged bird. Does that mean I'm psychotic? Oh well...
| Obakeeeeeeeee chapter 1 . 5/29/2002
Yep. Lotsa wings and hands. And they got torn. Nyahaha. Well, I still like your poems, and persevere anytime, anyday, it will be a good thing at the end! That was to no one in particular. Persevere too much and you'll be a cockroach. Japanese simile, don't worry(and it's a simile in Japanese). It kinda reminds me of Facade. The show part maybe? Geishas and shows and stages and stuff? And the first stanza's nice and gruesome. Tear and repair, tear and repair. Not repaired well, though.