Reviews for Paradise in Flames
Amaris chapter 1 . 2/23/2003
A bit self-reflective you say? I think this one has a bit of hope in the middle, and at the end it is as though hope is once again lost. I think. a hellos serves more than the initiation of a designated civility. Naturally it is the beginning of conversation, but what is wrong with someone wanting to converse with you? Although, I do agree that sometimes hellos are annoyingly meaningless because it is a "hello" followed by absolutely nothing; perhaps awkward silence if anything. Makes you wonder was the whole point of bringing the attention to one another in the first place.
Bobbo-chan chapter 1 . 11/18/2002
This really picks up some emotion towards the latter parts. I especially like lines 17-20 (I'll still be the brunt of... didn't die when she was told to) and 29-32 (The place where I grew up... see me). Especially so for 17-20, which I've been running through my head since reading it. So that par was very nice.

The start seems kind of awkward, but that seems to be the case with most poems. Getting someone introduced to a new feeling can be difficult to do with a smooth touch.

Verry spiffy, though. Go Eme-Wald!
A.J.Peart chapter 1 . 11/17/2002
You know how I always write long reviews? Well, I think this is going to be one of those exceptions. I just finished writing a 500 word analysis of a single stanza from a poem called "They Flee from Me" by Thomas Wyatt. It was very much like the same kind of thing that I normally do to you, only shorter...hehe, that's rather amusing really. However, shortly after I started, maybe 100 words into it, I discovered that my printer is getting to that point where the black comes through faded and streaked... I was thrilled. So I printed it in hopefully dark enough green! I can't WAIT to get that one back!

What's worse is the 1500 word essay I have to get done for Tuesday still... not done and no black ink! I can't afford a new cartridge either, as if it wasn't topped off already.

Anyway, that had nothing to do with this poem, and you know what? It's two in the morning, I just finished a paper, I have class tomorrow for which I don't want to have to get up at 10 for, and frankly, I don't care! Muahaha! I rule the night with my frantic laughter and belly dancing impersonations. Got shot twice last week.

The poem:

I'll be short and sweet, since I've taken up too much time already with mindless banter about giraffes, emus, and lemurs; I like it...all except the last stanza that is. Not because it's bad or doesn't fit the poem, but because it seems to not fit with what I got from the second last stanza, as if there's something missing in between.

Maybe what's missing, if anything, comes after the last stanza, I don't know. I just know that as I was reading and enjoying, I got to the end and found myself somewhat disjointed with the sudden change of some sort. Maybe that's it. I think there's more of an uplifting sense to the second last stanza and it's followed up by a rather down and depressing image. I mean, maybe it was intended as depressing, but the second last stanza seems to place this third party person in a position where they are helping the down...

WAIT! I think I see it now! It took a few rereadings to notice what threw me off and it's a lot more simple than any of my previous rantings. "The place where I grew up all in flames / And no one wants to see me flee." There's the problem, if a problem. I'll leave it for you to decide since it's your poem, but it's there for all the peering eyes to gawk at! "See me tossed about in the morning tree," it's there too.

First I'm going to erect a tent. Now I'm going to erect another one. Having done that, I'm going to complain about the tents; there's something wrong with the tents...

I have waaaaay too much time on my hands. Sorry about that, it's just late night sillies acting up again.

x10000

I'd type them but it might induce the system into displying the reviews as long things. Plus I'd be here a while, and Ikinda have to go to bed soon.

So,

Ego fatuus sum et e fenstra iciendus sum.

AJP
Bloo Heart chapter 1 . 9/22/2002
This is -beautiful-. It has a haunting, almost cryptic quality to it. . .but at the same time it is real. It's tangible. You read through it and think, "Gosh. . .so -that's- what I've been going through. . .", because you know that's how you feel, and you just never could put it into words. You did an excellent job! And now I must go kill my growing inferiority compex _;
Azrel chapter 1 . 9/13/2002
*blinks* Wow. Very good poem, though a bit sad.
Tiffany Kremer chapter 1 . 9/13/2002
* Picks her up up from off the floor and clears her throat*

Well now...ahem...*blinks and rubs her eyes cause she is tired as well, it being 3:15 am, hehe* VERY nice poem.

First off, I can't review poetry...it's hard. You can't criticize someone's personal thoughts, feelings, or personal experiences. You just can't..or I just can't. Anyway, this was a marvolous poem (Did I spell marvolous right? *shrugs*)

I really liked these couple of lines in one stanza:

A protecting veil, the one that bleeds,

a useless artifact of the rusty past.

Again, nicely done. I'm gonna add ya to my fav authors so I can look at more of your work when i get back from work. Keep it up!
I'mnolongerhereatthisaccount chapter 1 . 9/12/2002
Very nice and thanks for reading my story.
Aidlyn chapter 1 . 8/27/2002
This is a great poem! I love it. You're a great writer, keep it up.
Impressionist chapter 1 . 8/26/2002
wow. once again, (and by no surprise) I'm blown away. you write so well, and with so much passion. your talent does not go to waste. I think it's wonderfully done. I love the ending. people's eyes are closed, but maybe for a reason unknown. and meanwhile you're running away from your own personal hell. I love it.
Amber Moon chapter 1 . 8/19/2002
wow...this speaks out to me.

when my only hope still lay breathing.

"when my only hope still lay breathing."

i love that line...it just really spoke out to me...

and as for the review you left me on The Things of Girls, I'm overly pleased that you're printing it out...wow...i feel special

thank you
peachykeen chapter 1 . 8/18/2002
Hmmm, so, umm, yes. This one is much easier for me to understand. I think that it may be the lack of super-big words. Tres Bien! Nice work E-dog (as always)!
Ed Girl chapter 1 . 8/17/2002
excellent!

u write well

i like this poem

i could see it very well

keep it up :)
susupop chapter 1 . 8/17/2002
hm...a bit sad but interesting nevertheless. (especially the bit about the little girl not disappearing and dying...I'm sure everyone has felt that way at one time...but then, is she trying to be sarcastic or just helpless?) Anyways, nice job!
Dizzy Dyskrasia chapter 1 . 8/17/2002
even tho you spell faerie wrong...wunderful...eye commend thee spinning

mina/petra
Obake-chama chapter 1 . 8/16/2002
Yo ho...hohohohohoho.

Me really liked how it ended. Really really lots. Hee. I also like my grammar. Tatatatatatatatatata... Yoops? Buuu... I am out of words today...I understood this more than the others poems.

Yesterday's music: "Adiemus" and Age of Lonliness." Just a note.. Ihi!