Reviews for A Melody Untitled
Sally chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
At last! What a refresher! A not-so-typical story of a morbid, Bella Swan-like main character, who's always female with a stagnant male hero! Good to have a story written from a guy's point of view, by a guy! Many stories here are written by girls who can't quite capture a boy's thought properly; making it feel like a girl is narrating a story instead of a boy. And except for a few mistakes here and there, your story is better than half of native English speakers. So good job!
Abraham Meislow chapter 18 . 12/28/2004
This story was absolutely amazing. You know how you can get the shivers sometimes because you feel the truth of something, well, I got those shivers a lot. I know that it would be absolutely impossible for a guy like me to write a story like this, and I'm just glad at least one guy can.
CallMeCute chapter 13 . 9/9/2004
He is in way deeper than I thought I totally didnt expect him to quit basketball or anything. I like it a lot.
Chibi Binasu-chan chapter 18 . 8/8/2004
Hi there. It took me about ..hmm.. Let me think.. four hours to finish reading this story and I enjoyed every single bit of it! I love the main character; Zack for several reasons. The first is because my little brother's name is Zack and it's even spelled the same way. (most people spell it Zach) The way that you created your character Zack was simply amazing and somehow reminded of myself. Angsty..very angsty. I've never been able to write an angsty story because I always tend to write humor; but this is only because I'm funny when I'm upset. Ironic. As well as moronic. Anyway, I wonder if your name is Zack or if you simply based the character on yourself since your pen name is December Morning Owl and you continuesly said how Zack considers himself to be an Owl. The plotline of this story is wonderful (I read the author notes and the end and it's really amazing to imagine what your story used to be until it became what it is now) The only minor problem I found was your grammer. At times you would say 'I whisper softly to her.' which is present time, and then you'd say, 'She turned around to look at me.' Em.. most people write in the same time period. If you wanted to keep in present time like the first sentence, 'I whisper softly to her.' your next sentence would have been, 'She turns around and looks at me.' . Of course this is very minor and I doubt anybody else would notice it except me. (I'm just a weirdo.)
I'm new on (this may have been obvious or not) but I'm not new on . I read your bio and saw that you like anime which deeply surprised me because I haven't found -anybody- else on Fictionpress who even knows what anime is. I am a major fan of millions of anime and I write fanfiction on anime. I was wondering if you have an account on . If you do and you have written any stories I'd be pleased to read them... of course... you have no way of contacting me because my email has parental controls on it (poor little teenager is me..) So if you have an account, could you just review one of my stories? You don't have to read it.. My pen name on is Chibi Binasu-chan.
Anyway, your story.
I really loved them story. Please write more like it! .~
~ Shidare Tenshi - Weeping Angel
samwise-dragoneyes chapter 18 . 6/14/2004
Wow. That's really all I can say. I can't believe that this story hasn't gotten more reviews, it's one of the most stunning pieces of fiction I've ever read. The end of Elf/Katherine's subplot made me cry, and though I saw it coming long ago, the way you pulled off Julian and Mike made it as if I hadn't expected it. All I can say is, write more. A LOT more.
Kerri chapter 18 . 5/26/2004
*starts to clap*
You have done an absolute terrific job on this story. Whatever I may have expected, you have out done yourself and soared above anything I COULD have expected. I look forward to reading the other stories you've posted.
Please, keep writing.
dpath2100 chapter 18 . 12/24/2003
Well. There's nothing I can add and nothing I can take away from this. Trust me, that's pretty rare. What to say... I'll go with an old standby.
Grammar. Work on your grammar. I noticed it - it broke parts of the story. But at the end, I didn't even care. You've got talent; utilize it.
You've got a rare ending there - someone willing to let the reader 'interpret' the ending, to give us something to think on... It ended in just the right place, everything was perfect.
Heart4Luv chapter 18 . 11/15/2003
this story was amazing, beautiful, and I could not stop reading it once I had started. thank you for wriing it.

as to if romance is a fantasy... so is life. "My love is my soul's imagination. How do I love you? Imagine..." My motto, reaffirmed by your story. Well done. ;) I'd be interested in any feedback you could give on my poems...
Alcapacien chapter 18 . 10/3/2003
Good good! I kind of guessed that she did like Mike at the dance compition...glad that he dumped her or whatever! Are you saying that Sigrid and him? interesting, hope you write more!
Macabeak chapter 18 . 6/29/2003
Well, to your question, romance is a fantasy to many who have never experienced it. I found that a lot of romance authors haven't found their 'true love' yet (I certainly haven't) and tend to be normal people. (Yeah, normal also has to be defined. That's for anybody else who wants to translate it.)'It's like living a fantasy' is a phrase heard often by lovers.

Aneway, about this story itself. This is a beautiful story. I like how you keep a variety of generals in this. The characters are deep and react realisticly to situations. In truth, I would've printed this out so I could read it again and again but my family objected because there's too much paper. So that means I'll have to wait until you get this story published! Seriuosly, it's good!
Macabeak chapter 16 . 6/29/2003
Shoot, Julian seems to have chosen Mike after all. Just after Zach chose Julian! Your little love triangles (*ahem* pentagons, octagons, messes) never seem to end!
Macabeak chapter 15 . 6/29/2003
This chapter was so good. Truth be told, I cried. (Well, there was only one tear that got through my defenses, but that counts.) Great job with wrapping up the Elf and Kathryn storyline. I just wish there was more of the Elf POV. Great job!
Macabeak chapter 10 . 6/29/2003
Bickering, crushes, crashes, romance, and comedy! Ingredients to Melody Untitled! (That sounded really cheesy but oh well.)
Macabeak chapter 9 . 6/29/2003
Wow. That was so sad. Poor Elf. Please tell me that Jeremy is really not that good and those two break up and Elf can have Kathryn? This story is so good. Great work so far!
Macabeak chapter 8 . 6/29/2003
Very different point of veiw and a very funny point of veiw! That was a good idea to write this chapter! Congrats on another funny chapter!
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