|Reviews for Visions of China|
| Unuspai chapter 5 . 9/5/2002
This is certainly a very well-stated and very thoughtful set of poems. The imagery was wonderful, but I will say that some of your comparisons were, while appropriate, a bit weak in character. Let me give example:
"The water is dripping from the roofs,
an indirect rain.
And what else is there? Fog?"
I found this an incredible comparison stating not only the blatant imagery, but also the people, perhaps even the structures themselves embodied within each rain droplet, or perhaps even the fog. Going further with that thought, to question if it is smoke or so-called smog is also very appropriate (showing the image as being less than heavenly or pure, a shock back to realism), but still stated a bit weakly. The original, raw power of your imagery was pushed back unnaturally.
Going a stanza up from that example, my favorite lines of these poems:
"The birds fly deep,
for deep do also fly the insects.
And we walk even deeper."
Incredible imagery, and a comparison that shocks the reader to realizing how insignificant we are by ourselves, and yet how connected we are with the nature around us. Very well done!