Reviews for Hunted
Alex chapter 3 . 6/30/2006
Hello hello, I've only read up to the third chapter but I loved it! It has elves and I can still bear to read it, and enjoy it! (I don't have anything against books with elves but I have a few...memories that I would rather forget that are triggered by the subject *shudder*) I love Fa'shlein, there's just something about the really evil characters that blackmail the good(?) characters that I love. Hehehehehe, Durlann, I am the one who REALLY kidnapped your brother! Pay up 12 thousand gold peices in the next 48 hours or your brother dies! :-D Anyway, I'm off to read the rest of this now!Ciao,Alex
Chibi Gangster chapter 15 . 7/18/2003
A faint almost inaudible whispering could be heard as the shadows muttered to each other in dark tongue.


This story has kept me interested, and I hope that you continue it very soon.

Check out my account sometime. I don't have much fantasy work, but I do have science fiction.
Chibi Gangster chapter 11 . 7/18/2003
Rats. Fa-Shlein was hot. (hehe)
Chibi Gangster chapter 10 . 7/18/2003
Col... I loved this chapter. I think you've explained things well enough up to this point. The idea of Sinora is really interesting and unique and, wow, very cool. Good job.
Chibi Gangster chapter 5 . 7/18/2003
An exile to his own race... OOh, I like it. Very nice. Off to read more!
Chibi Gangster chapter 1 . 7/18/2003
Nice introduction! Very descriptive and well-written. I'm hurrying off to read the rest of this story. _
siond chapter 13 . 2/24/2003
cliffhanger! oh this is very good. though i must say i am completly confused be the new characters- is one of them our originals? the signs point to yes.. but it is a cliffhanger! i can't tell. Keep writing:)

magicfan241 chapter 12 . 1/29/2003
Keep writing!

I really like it!
Krytzie chapter 8 . 1/16/2003
I'm going to stop reading now.

For some reason, the storm Ralayna created disappeared without an explanation and it is hard to understand time because you are always writing, "and the darkness stretched over the forest" or "the darkness surrounded the trees".


Good luck in writing.
Krytzie chapter 5 . 1/16/2003
New point. Try not to make the * remarks needed. Explain it in the piece. When was the last time you read a novel with * added information?

Storyline is turning up. Seems interesting.
Krytzie chapter 4 . 1/16/2003
It's hard to follow scenes...we don't know where we are and we don't know who is being talked about until we get into the sixth or seventh paragraph of a scene. We can't hae "a dark figure" describing everyone. I now do not know who anyone is or who is doing what because they are all dark figures and some of them are tall and you don't get itno if they are male or female until laters so I can't differentiate them that way either.

If you give someone a name, use it.
Krytzie chapter 2 . 1/16/2003
It is unclear as to who is who in the conflict. You cannot introduce the warrior's name by just telling us. You need speech or something else.

In writing, you show and experience, not tell.

Who is the massive human figure?

In the scroll, don't say he'she, him'her all the time. Try to either generalize with one, or say it if there is harted put forth...And besides, hunter guy concluded it was a young male, so perhaps they would just address her as he?
Krytzie chapter 1 . 1/16/2003
You use "unforgiving darkness" a lot and is slightly repetative.

Also, I don't believe it would be feline body, for feline is a cat...feminine body? ((I know, I can't spell.))

The fight is slightly grusome...-_-;

aBardsHeiress chapter 10 . 12/5/2002
discovery is spelled wrong
aBardsHeiress chapter 9 . 11/21/2002
hurry up and put the ending up, dang it! Cruel, you are!

Great story, have editor type friends edit it, send it off to publishers, this would sell really well!
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