Reviews for Captured
Guest chapter 2 . 10/6/2013
It's really strange, but the one thing that really bothered me here is that the dagger he used to cut her was dirty from being embedded in dirt. That would infect her wounds and possibly kill her (in my defence my aunt recently got blood poisoning from an innocuous cut from a penknife and almost died).
Dalek17 chapter 6 . 8/27/2010
This is such an awesome story it's not even funny. But I do think the ending was a bit rushed... Great, though!
LittleEmoKid chapter 6 . 5/21/2008
OKay love, this was really good, but do you know it's not proper writing to smoosh the dialgue together like that? One it's incredabily frustrating to try and figure out who's saying what, but it's hard on the eyes. So in the future please refraim from writing this way. As far as the story goes, it was really good, but a bit rushed. I think you could have put a bit more detail into it. But ack, the story was really good. Keep practicing.
Sweet123 chapter 6 . 11/20/2007
very good
Sweet123 chapter 5 . 11/20/2007
she finally gave in!
Sweet123 chapter 4 . 11/20/2007
Great chapter
Sweet123 chapter 3 . 11/20/2007
Very few stories are good with these types of stories. Good work
Sweet123 chapter 2 . 11/20/2007
Wow this is good
Sweet123 chapter 1 . 11/20/2007
AshleyHel chapter 4 . 10/22/2007
You're story sux. The dialogue is lame. No offense, mate, but it's a typical teenage love fantasy, not readable. I had to stop after the third chapter, it was so rediculous.
irishangel110290 chapter 6 . 1/17/2007
now i like the end to this story so i can't wait to read the sequel
irishangel110290 chapter 4 . 1/17/2007
i like this story but why does it always have to be a guy that is the vampire girls don't always have to be the humans.
sarabeth120 chapter 6 . 5/21/2006
Well, this story is intereresting and has potential... but there are alot of mistakes. There's no description of setting, which is a very important aspect to the story. You moved way to fast and to me the plot is a little unrealistic, so it seems that it is rushed. You kept switching from past and present tense and there was some verb-subject agreement issues. The words you used were repetitive and boring, use different adective and othe parts of speech to make the story more interesting... If you rewrite this and heed this review, you can make it much much much better.
Baby Moony chapter 6 . 6/18/2004
that was cool! u kno what u should do?...MAKE A...SEQUEL!: PLEASE! lol that would be cool
Pose For Me chapter 6 . 1/26/2004
O... groovy ending!
Regina O.B.
43 | Page 1 .. Last Next »