A/N: Okay, here's another poem by me. (I really need to get off my rear-end and write something besides poems…) Hurray. Scary thing was this really happened, so enjoy the pathetic reality that is my life.
The Innocence of Youth
I walk past it and shudder.
A park. With kids playing it in.
The swings go back and forth…
Entrapping my mind in memories long buried.
Some call the innocence of youth a blessing…
To me it's anything but.
Stopping, numbness fills my body.
My mind flashes several years back…
I had no idea of the pathetic torment they were putting me through.
Stupid teasing…insults…ridiculous nicknames…
How did I put up with it?
Simple. I just didn't know what they were doing.
Jumping to the present, I shake my head and keep walking.
There are reminders everywhere…
People…places…things…
I can't escape them…
Too bad they're not like junk.
The junk a six year old shoves under the bed and forgets.
There I go again…the relentless march of thoughts.
Why does it bother me now?
I'm starting to think the virtue of childhood isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Sure, we all got along and the worst problem we ever had was a scraped knee,
But if that produces the mistakes I've spend the past two years of my life correcting…
The laughter of the children on the playground reaches my ears again.
So pure…so naive…no clue what they're doing…
Now the odd part…I was like that once.
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I walk faster…
Attempting to escape the playground and my memories.
Flicking my eyes back and forth, I break out into a sprint.
People give me the occasional odd look, but I keep running.
Maybe if I run fast enough, I'll outrun my troubles…my past…
Faster…farther…
Now out of sight of the playground I stop, panting.
Nope. My tribulations followed me.
What was I expecting? It's not like I haven't tried this before.
Sighing, I relinquish control to my subconscious.
Why can't these people around me leave?
That way I can surrender to my emotions alone…
Rot in my personal hell alone.
I want to just curl up and be forgotten by all.
A particular face pops into my brain. It's Him.
The beginning and end of 50% of my evils.
If only he knew what he's done to me…or at least started.
What about…how could I forget?
The day he almost ended it…and me…for good.
He didn't start it. Someone else did that.
He didn't continue it. Others had that privilege.
He didn't tease me. Another took that responsibility.
One sentence from him had the power to shatter all my sanity…
All my self-worth, control, pride, hope, and mental barriers.
One sentence nearly put an end to me.
I know I would have done it, if I had the means to do it then.
It's scary to think that I've come so close to death by my own hand.
And it all started with the innocence of youth…