Once upon a time, there was a boy. Since I am lazy, I will name him Joe
Woods. Yippy skippy doo dah day for Joe.
Anyway, one day, Joe was walking in the mall. He was happily wolfing down a cone of mint chocolate chip with gummy wads in it, when SHE walked by.
You know, the writers of cheesy love-at-first-sight stories never specify who "she" is. Could be Janet Reno. Could be Mimi from the Drew Carrey Show. Could be Slutney Spears. Who knows? Someone should really start identifying "her."
Anyway, she was beautiful. You know. She had floofy, pretty, wavy blond hair that sparkled like the light of 3294302840238490820389493028430924 stars. her eyes were like the sky reflected off of a blue pool of water. The author conveniently ignores that water is blue BECAUSE the sky reflects off of the water. In reality, the water is clear.
But she didn't have implants. So I guess it wasn't Slutney Spears after all. Maybe it was Janet Reno in disguise.
Getting back to the point (there was a point?), she was beautiful. So our little hero approached her with some flowers stolen out of a memorial bouquet at the end of the Sears wing. "MARRY ME! I have no idea who you are, nor do I know anything about you, but I love you!" he shouted, kneeling with the half-dead flowers in hand. There was silence from the girl's end.
".Hello?"
"Zorf?" Okay, she was an idiot with an IQ rivaling that of a toaster oven. But it didn't matter. She was beautiful, right? That would make up for having the intelligence of a waffle iron, surely!
Joe got down on one knee again and proposed marriage to her. And she accepted.
Four weeks later, Joe sat on the curb with nary a penny in his pocket. Turned out she was already married and just stole his brand new Camaro, his huge TV system, and one of his kidneys while he was sleeping.
"But she was so beautiful! We were supposed to be together forever!" he wailed.
The moral is, love at first sight is a ridiculous notion. How do you know how someone is if you just declare you love them after glancing at them once?!
Anyway, one day, Joe was walking in the mall. He was happily wolfing down a cone of mint chocolate chip with gummy wads in it, when SHE walked by.
You know, the writers of cheesy love-at-first-sight stories never specify who "she" is. Could be Janet Reno. Could be Mimi from the Drew Carrey Show. Could be Slutney Spears. Who knows? Someone should really start identifying "her."
Anyway, she was beautiful. You know. She had floofy, pretty, wavy blond hair that sparkled like the light of 3294302840238490820389493028430924 stars. her eyes were like the sky reflected off of a blue pool of water. The author conveniently ignores that water is blue BECAUSE the sky reflects off of the water. In reality, the water is clear.
But she didn't have implants. So I guess it wasn't Slutney Spears after all. Maybe it was Janet Reno in disguise.
Getting back to the point (there was a point?), she was beautiful. So our little hero approached her with some flowers stolen out of a memorial bouquet at the end of the Sears wing. "MARRY ME! I have no idea who you are, nor do I know anything about you, but I love you!" he shouted, kneeling with the half-dead flowers in hand. There was silence from the girl's end.
".Hello?"
"Zorf?" Okay, she was an idiot with an IQ rivaling that of a toaster oven. But it didn't matter. She was beautiful, right? That would make up for having the intelligence of a waffle iron, surely!
Joe got down on one knee again and proposed marriage to her. And she accepted.
Four weeks later, Joe sat on the curb with nary a penny in his pocket. Turned out she was already married and just stole his brand new Camaro, his huge TV system, and one of his kidneys while he was sleeping.
"But she was so beautiful! We were supposed to be together forever!" he wailed.
The moral is, love at first sight is a ridiculous notion. How do you know how someone is if you just declare you love them after glancing at them once?!