Ok, so this is basically stuff I can't gather the courage to tell people I really care about. Now I will
blurt it out on the internet for everybody I have never met to see.

A map of my world

I live in my own world. I might exist in the real world too, but only as a rumour. As a window or a
shadow. No. As a window that only shows a shadow of my world.
There are more things in the true world, yet mine is deeper, more confusing and harder to uderstand.
The true world is made of thousands of things and only three things is found in mine. My thoughts,
my feelings and my fears.
I wish one of two things would happen. I wish that I would be set completely free of the true world
and be only in my own. Or…
I wish that could bring people into my world. Finally find the trust to let them in. Maybe just one
person. I think it would be easier to show the hole place if it was for only one. I am certain of it.
And I think I have just understood why. It is because I need my own space. I do not know if I have
always had this need, or if it has come to be caused by pain.
I somehow feel this craving for solitude is wrong, and so it could not be given to me at birth. Right?
I feel alone and abandoned. And I feel I am to blame for that. I have been given a mouth and a
voice. All I need to bring people into my world. All I need to lift the loneliness. But my voice has
been made weak. By my world I believe.
My voice will always assist me in telling the true world where I stand. What I mean about certain
situations. But it can not handle the feelings.
My feelings can not handle the journey from my world to the true world. They fear the ears of all
people. They know that they will be abducted and brought to other places. Worlds where they do
not belong, where they might be hated, laugh at or worst of all misunderstood.
That is why I could only let one person into my world. A person that would let me into his or hers
world. One that would understand….

Written by Kathrine Hansen, at around 1 o'clock, on Thursday the 17 of October 2002. Day 5 of my
fall vacation.