A/N: I take a writing class called Writer's Workshop.  I got very bored one day while trying to come up with a story idea.  I actually gave this to the teacher.  Warning, contains LOTS of random ideas that normal people may find questionable.

Doom In A Nutshell

Disclaimer: I own the voices in my head that told me to write this, the phrase 'doom in a nutshell', Someone, Nobody, and the albino guinea pig.  I do not own the white lab rat, cheese, potatos, tomatos, the meaning of life, the demon at the end of the world, or anything else mentioned in this story.  Anyway…Now enjoy!  ^_^

Doom in a nutshell.

That was very random.  Did you know I can write a story based on completely random comments?  If you didn't already know, now you do.  The little random voices in my head are telling me what to write.  Hey, look at that!  I already have most of a paragraph written.  Am I trying to write a story here?!  I have no clue…  The voices don't want to write my story, they want to write about other things.  And believe me, you don't want to get the Voices angry.

This story is completely and totally random.  I am not responsible for any complete and utter insanity that may come out of randomly typing.  And, yes, everyone thinks doom in a nutshell is funny.

Just why is doom in a nutshell funny?  Because it's doom.  In a nutshell.  Imagine an evil force called Doom.  A big demon-type evil force.  Named Doom.  And it's stuck.  Stuck in a nutshell.  Imprisoned there by whatever is the opposite of doom.  Which, by the way, doesn't really like nutshells.

Anyway, aside from Doom In A Nutshell, there are lots of other random things to randomly type about.  I wonder if this counts as a writing piece?  Yes.  It should count as a writing piece from the mind of SOMONE!  A newly created fictional character who does not reveal their gender and is probably some kind of sarcastic and/or sadist person.

Hello.  My name is Someone.  It's a stupid name.  When I'm of legal age, I'm going to get it changed to something else.  Maybe Doom.  Maybe Bob.  Maybe John Smith.  I don't care, as long as it's not Someone.  Someone is such an odd name.  It would be fun if you met someone named Nobody, though…

"Hi, who are you?" 

"Oh…Nobody…" 

"Really, who are you?" 

"Nobody!" 

"I mean, what's your name?" 

"MY NAME IS NOBODY!"

And then the kid would probably explode into an angry rage, causing everyone to look over at him/her/it and laugh at their name.  Poor kid… 

I would like to meet the person who invented the word "cheese".  And maybe "potato".  Then I would ask if it's 'po-tay-to' or 'po-ta-to'.  Nobody seems to know.  There we are, back with Nobody again. 

"Hey, Nobody!"

"What?"

"How do you say p-o-t-a-t-o?"

"Go ask someone!"

"But I AM Someone!"

"Well, you just have a problem there, don't you?"

Jeez…Nobody is a very sarcastic person…

What is the meaning of life?  I think it has to do with finding out how to say the words "potato" and "tomato".  And all those other unpronounceable words.  And the end of the world will come about when some nuts release Doom from its nutshell because they actually think Doom exists inside a nutshell.

The End of the World sounds like it would be fun.  Fire, chaos, and big demons ripping apart famous peoples' houses!  Did I mention how stupid famous people are?  Especially if they're singers…

"Hey, look at me!  I have a lot of money!  I have no talent, and people pay me anyway!  I waste my money on stupid ugly clothes that nobody would be caught dead in, and even though they're stupid, people like them because I'm wearing them!  I also have a house!  But I need a map to find the bathroom!"

Why do people perform experiments on white lab rats?  Why not albino guinea pigs?

If inanimate objects could talk, people wouldn't look at dirty websites.  The computer, the walls, and everything around them would yell at them. 

Logic time!  If Someone writes a creative story, then they will hand it in for a grade.  If the story is stupid, then it will not be accepted.  The question is…does this count as a writing piece for the quarter, or did I waste an entire period?  I'm not sure.

Remember, folks.  It all started with Doom in a Nutshell.  Only YOU can prevent forest fires.  Save Smoky the Bear.  Do not set him on fire.  Why is his name Smoky, anyhow?  That's almost as bad as being named Nobody!  Did Smoky have a cigarette addiction, maybe?  The world may never know.