I Am A Sadist

I am a sadist,
or so I was told.
I won't disclose names,
but his offhand remark
struck me as odd and
amusingly, bluntly
true.

I think about how you love me,
shamelessly, boundlessly,
eternal and passionate.
And I think about how I love you,
shamelessly, eternally...
Restrictive and closed-hearted.

Friends, I told you,
and only that.

And I love to see you cry for me,
I love to see you die for me,
the power I have over your soul
I wield
so boundlessly,
so passionately;
I play you like the queen of hearts
and you drop to your knees
at my every whim...
and I love it
and I hate it
and I drive the both of us
crazy

And I'm having the time of my life
watching you want me
watching you suffer
my friend
my love
my slave...

And perhaps
I am a sadist.

Author's Notes: This is one of my favorite recent poems, actually. It's rather accurate, as awful as that is. Let's see...in the first verse, "his offhand remark" refers to someone having called me sadistic. Which actually happened. This person is different from the one I address the poem to...he knows who he is, and if he reads this, I'm sorry. And I think that would be all. Any questions or comments, check my bio, you know where to write, or just review me and I'll get back to you. Thanks for taking the time. :) ~MJ
Date of Composition: October 15, 2002; 11:00 p.m.