Disclaimer: Yes, this is my own orginal stab at poetry.
Author's Note: I wrote this about a summer ago when I had family troubles. Finally they are resolved. I have no clue why I am posting this. But please Read, Review and Enjoy:
Keep a brave face for everyone. But I'm really dying inside.
Tears are shed in silent dark corners a proud face is shone in the light.
One question nags at me. How?
How could this happen to her to us?
How could I not notice?
Why did anyone let it go this far?
Are we all that blind, or egotistical?
I was living!
While she in a sense had a part of herself dying.
I walk around trying not to show it.
My tears seem endless, my thoughts turn to her more then I wish.
How can I stand it?
My heart is breaking slowly, and the vortex of sorrow is getting deeper.
Why do I keep thinking of this if it only brings pain?
Why would anyone ever let this happen?
Through this my faith has not prevailed.
It's shattered laying in pieces across my life, but not at this moment.
How can all this pain be caused by some damn chemical imbalances?
The silent pain that torments all affected.
We never talk of it.
Just keep it to ourselves and deal with it.
My way is keeping on a mask of courage.
While I weep in the shadows.
You would really think by now I would have run out of tears, but they still fall on my pillow at night.
She's back from the beyond.
Supposedly she'll heal.
I look at her and can't say anything.
I hate myself, for the fact every time I look at her anger and hatred in me rises.
I blame her. I blame myself. I blame everyone or everything for making this come to pass.
But it's really no one's fault.
I truly know this.
Then why do I put blame on people or objects?
Slowly the vortex is shrinking but my tears still come.
Time is what everyone says.
Just a little longer and things will get back to normal.
How things will never be the same.
There will always be this fear that it will happen again.
I've learned now that you must never take anything for granted.
Also change is the only constant.
That is where I find my serenity, one fact that never changes itself
Slowly each day it changes for the better I hope.
The person I knew seems to return.
And replaces the stranger that seemed to occupy her form.
The vortex is gone now and less of my tears are shed.
Slowly I recover.
Each day I feel a little better.
Hope is finally returning to my life.
Soon I hope that the tears will be gone.
But I regret to say they will always stain my pillow from time to time.
Still I'll wear my mask of courage.
I'll smile when I feel happy.
Appreciate every moment I have.
But I'll still always cry in dark corners.
I truly hope this experience has changed me for the best.
I'm still not certain.
All I truly know is change is the only constant.