Never has man been so cruel against his own kind. Today I am 80 yrs old. I have survived what many others did not. This is my story.

Berlin, Germany April 29, 1936

Hello, dear diary! Was I ever so surprised when Mutti gave you to me just a few minutes ago, I wonder why...... Well, I've got to go now- school calls. Bye for now!

Later:

' All Jewish children are from this day forbidden to attend the public schools of Germany. Those words itself seemed to jump out, slapping me on the face. Ever since Adolph Hitler and the Nazi party came to power, it has been nothing but terror for us, the Jews. No longer are we even considered citizens to the land in which our roots grow so very deep. Enemies of the Fatherland, that is what we are.

Later:

I know I'm suppose to be asleep right now, but my mind is just too full of all the things that have been going on. We got our visitors again, ha, I was even starting to wonder where they have gone. It's been 1 week now since the last visit. We had been having dinner, althought one could what we had a proper dinner. Boiled cabbages and black bread. This time they took only the last of our potatoes and Mutti's pearl necklace- the one Vati gave her on their 2nd anniversary. Before Vati was arrested, he had applied for our Visas. Mutti went to the office soon after, and this nice man- and underground worker I think gave them to her! Mutti knows who he really is, but she just won't tell me. Your new friend, Eva

April 30, 1936

Dear diary: We began to pack immediatly. We are destined for Poland, where UncleYitzak, Mutti's brother lives. I am going to bring along with me, 2 skirt, 2 sweaters, 5 pairs of underwear, a coat, 4 pairs of stockings, 1 scarf, my schoolbooks, paper, a fountian pen, Janna- the doll that Fraulein Marie gave me 2 months before her arrest and this diary. Fraulein Marie was my old literature teacher. She was arrested for refusing to read Mein Kampf to us. End for now.

May 1, 1936

Too much to do, no time to write.

May 3, 1936 On a train, destination, Poland!!!!!

Dear diary:

As I have already said, we are on our way to Poland! FREEDOM! Yesterday would've been my 14th birthday, but we were just too busy for any kind of celerbration. The train ride is..... is not at all even close to what we are used to. You see, First Class is very, very different from Third Class- which we are now in because, uh huh. We are Jews. Third Class passengers must bring their own food, at least that's what Mutti told me. Know what? I think it's only Jews that have to bring their own food. Besides us, there are also 10 other passengers in our class. A Jewish family of 3, a fat man that snores when he sleeps, a old lady who watches everyone with these bird- like eyes, and her son who looks like he's half asleep all the time. One can learn so much from a single train ride. Bye for now.

May 5, 1936 Still on the train

Dear diary As I read over what I had written in this diary so far, I realized that I haven't told anything about myself except for my name. My full name is Eva Adelaide Siegal. I was born on the morning of May 2, 1926. I am the youngest child of my family, or should I say was. My older sister Miriam and older brother Aaron were executed for helping a group of Jews fight for our freedom. That was a while ago, but it feels just like yesterday... Before all this madness, my best friend was Jenna. We had planned to go to the park together one day and I was to meet at her house. But when I got there was I in for a surprise. Her father had just been promoted and is now a Nazi officer. It seems like now I am to inferior to his German family. I don't know what Jenna thinks of all this, I hadn't spoke to her ever since. For my 9th birthday, Vati and Mutti had given me the most adorable Cocker Spaniel whom I named Cookie. Dear sweet Cookie..... now looking down at us from heaven... This, I'd rather not write about, it still hurts too much. It's getting late now, and we arrive in Poland tomorrow. Love, Eva

May 6 1936 Warsaw, POLAND!

Dear diary: We have arrived! We arrived just shortly after twelve O' clock, and was greeted by a very happy Uncle Yizhak. He never did marry, but is a very successful buisnessman selling jewellery and silk. He has this big manor, with maids in it and everything. It's nice manor and all, but not as grand as the house we had back in Germany. Mutti says that we will get a tutor for me as soon as we're settled. Love, Eva

August 19, 1936

Dear diary: Sorry to have not written for so long. Mutti and I have been quite busy. I now have a tutor, a nice Polish boy named Joseph. Mutti and I have started a garden and I have found a new friend! Her name is Margot and she is a German Jew, just like me! Life is so much better now but if only Vati, Aaron and Miriam could be here with us....

August 23, 1936

Dear diary: There are so many new places to explore. Everyday Uncle Yizhak takes us out to a new place. Margot and I have become even closer, and I dare say that we've become best friends. goodbye for now

September, 15, 1936

Dear diary: The anti-Semitism wave has finally caught up with us. One of the maids has even quit. There isn't all that much to write about. The conditions in Germany have worstened. I am so terribly lucky to have been able to get out of there alive. -Eva

October 2, 1936

Dear diary:

Everything is so boring.... Joseph is teaching me how to speak Polish.

October 29, 1936

Dear diary:

You may have noticed that I don't write as much as I used to now. It's just that it feels like life has suddenly slowed down. Nothing different ever happens anymore.

November 3, 1936

Dear diary: Today Margot and I went out on a picnic.Then we went over to her house to listen to some records. Her family isn't at all as rich as ours, but it's a pleasant place to be. A wonderful day except for one thing. During the picnic, there were some horrid boys trying to drown a kitten! The poor thing was so petrefied that it ran away as soon as Margot untied the bag it was being held captive in. Mother is calling, bye now.

November 19, 1936

Dear diary:

Nothing happened, lessons as usual. Mutti is insisting that I also learn to speak Yiddish, but I don't want to.

December 11, 1936

Dear diary:

Guess what? Mutti and Uncle Yizhak has decided that we're going to have a ball! Since we aren't really religious Jews, and only go to the synagogue on the religious festival days we kind of celebrate Christmas too. Not that we believe in Jesus being the son of God, but we do love the whole festive and joyful feeling so we do decorate the house and exchange preasants. We've already decided on what my gown is going to look like. For the skirt, it's going to be a deux jupes- the top layer is a shimmering light blue silk while the bottom, a even lighter blue satin. Strings of perfect little pearls will be emboirdered along hem. The top of the gown is the same color as the silk. It's going to be so exquisite, words alone cannot describe. I can hardly wait!

December 22, 1936 Hanukkah!

Dear diary:

Happy Hanukkah diary! Eight whole days filled with feasting and celebration. What more can one ask for? Finally, I can again be proud of who I am. A Jew. Rosa, the cook and her helpers have spent days slaving over all the food, but the results are amazing! I even think that Uncle Yizhak is going to give her a big raise. There's everything! From the traditional latkes to a new dish that Rosa made up. It looks beautiful, and tastes even better! She hasn't made up a name for the dish yet, but she said that I could if I wanted to. Mutti and Uncle Yizhak allowed me to light the first candle on the Menorah. Then he told the story of Hanukkah. Of when there was only enough oil to light the Menorah in the temple for 1 day. But then a miracle happened. The Menorah was able stay lit for eight whole days! God is so great....

December 23, 1936

Dear diary:

More feasting! Margot and her family came over to celerbrate with us today and we had the happiest time.

December 24, 1936

Dear diary:

It's Christmas Eve. More feasting today. Margot and I got to light yesterday's candle together and Mutti lit todays.

December 25, 1936 Christmas!

Dear diary:

Merry Christmas! We still celebrated Hanukkah today, but Christmas too. This morning, Mutti, Uncle Yizhak and I all woke up early, racing each other down the stairs. I had got Mutti a small music box which I had bought from a Gypsy. I know what they say about Gypsies, but I don't agree at all. They are really nice people. For Uncle Yizhak, a scarf that I had knitted all by mysef! He loved it. A small gold locket with twelve tiny dimonds ingraved (which I have decided would go wonderfully with my gown)- my first family heirloom. It had first belonged to great, great, great, great grandmother Ania, who was a Lady. (Mutti's side) That was from Mutti. Uncle Yizhak gave me a present already. The gown that I am to wear to the ball. Anne, Beate, Julie and Miep (the maids) had decorated the manor, turning it into the most enchanting fairytale scene one would ever see. Bolts of silk were used to hang from the staircase and balcony. The chandelier sparkled from all the polishing, the marble floor gleamed and the grand piano shone. Everything was just so lovely I can hardly explain. Margot and her family came, of course and so did Joseph and his family. Also on the guestlist was the Baron Peter Michelowski and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. Steiner and a whole bunch of Uncle Yizhak's friends. There was so much to eat, from 3 roast chickens to strawberry tarts. There were no other children there, which was fine to me. Then there was the dancing. After all, it was a ball. So many dance partners that I can not remember everyone I had danced with. When I mean a lot, I mean a lot. My feet still ache from all the dancing. I've never been really good at how would you say this? Maybe have enough patience to write down all the details of what goes on in the day. It's not like anyone's going to read this besides myself anyways. Got to go now, so very sleepy......

January 1, 1937 Happy New Years!

Dear diary:

Happy New Years! Do you ever wonder what Hitler's New Year resolutions are? To take over more countries than the last year? To kill more Jews? Many say that Hitler would not last. I certanily hope they're right. - Eva

Febuary 9, 1938

Dear diary:

It's so good to write at last! You must have fell because I found just a few minutes ago, behind my walnut chest! Not much happened last year. Many people think that Poland is to be Hitler's next victim. Me? Well, I try not to think that, but we are so terribly close...

Febuary 25, 1938

Dear diary:

Today would've been Aaron's 17th birthday. But we were to sad to celebrate. It's also going to be Mutti's birthday soon, in 2 weeks. I can hardly wait for mine! Aaron and I were never close, the reason why this entry may not sound so well, filled with grief. Miriam was the one I was much, much closer with. Her birthday's only 10 days after mine. We always did celebrated our birthdays together. Sometimes I feel that she was the only person in the world, besides Vati who understood me. Aaron was rather the cold one. Uncle Yizhak is calling. -Eva

Later:

It turns out that Uncle Yizhak had been thinking of the same thing. Now that I am the only heir to Vati and Mutti's (what's left of) house and posessions and that he has no one to leave this fortune to. You know the rest. I am now a heiress to two major fortunes and properites. I don't know if Hitler has yet given our property back in Germany to some German family but with the money I shall aquire from Uncle Yizhak, I should be able to get it back easily. I hope Hitler won't ruin it for me, my future looks so bright, for now at least.

March 11, 1938

Dear diary:

Today is Mutti's birthday. We had a lovely little party for her, with just Uncle Yizhak, Margot and I. I gave her a pearl necklace to replace the one the Nazis stole althought its not nearly as nice. When Mutti saw it, she nearly burst out with tears. I guess the memories were just too overwhelming. But being a proper lady, she did not cry. Not in front of a guest, anyways. She did later. I have to go now. -Eva

April 29, 1938

Dear diary:

It has been exacly two years since I first got this diary! There are still a lot of pages to be filled and I hope that I will do so well that the people in the future may know our story, if we are not there to tell it. Not a lot has gone by in the last two years. Others may say that a lot has indeed gone by, but I believe that something much , much worst is awaiting us. Something beyond horror. -Eva

May 2, 1938

Dear diary:

Today is my 16th birthday! I was so excited last night that I could hardly sleep. You will never guess what Mutti and Uncle Yizhak got me. A PUPPY!! I could hardly believe my eyes! She looks exacly like Cookie- so I have decided on it's name Cupcake. See, there both food names that could be found at a party or bakery. Ah, this is so great! Cupcake is the cutest thing ever....

May 6, 1938

Dear diary:

We have been in Poland for exacly two years now! Two precious years of freedom. I've looked back to all my other entries from the time I was still in Germany to now. Back then I could've still laughed when the Nazis came. If that happened now, I don't know what I'll do. It seems like I was stronger before and weaker now.

May 12, 1938

Dear diary:

Today would've been Miriam's 18th birthday if she was still here. I know that I should be happy for her, happy that she got to go to God so early in her life and not had to wait here wondering what Hitler's next steps were. But I just can't help feeling sad. She had always understood me when Vati was not there for me to talk to and always stood up for me to Aaron. I miss her so much.

June 2, 1938

Dear diary:

I am so bored! So much Yiddish homework. Yes, Mutti won. Since Joseph does not know how to speak Yiddish, the rabbi something is teaching me. His last name is so long and hard to pronounce that I don't know how to write it! It startes with a 'S' though.

September 1938

Dear diary:

We are at war with Germany.

September 1938

Dear diary:

As I said yesterday, we are at war with Germany. Everyone knows that Poland has no chance up against Germany, and that we would surely lose. I should've known. Escaping so easily to a country so close to Germany and having as much freedom as the next person was too good to be true. Because we are in war, we now have rations. It's not so bad- the rations I mean.

1938

Dear diary:

Yesterday, Poland was her own master. Today she is no longer free. What more do I need to say?

1938

Dear diary:

Mutti is still in shock of being under German occupation. I am too. Only a year ago, I would've never thought this would happen, writing about picnics and gown. We are having even tighter rations now. Everything seems so familiar now, seeing the German tanks roll in and the Nazis in the streets.

November 1938

Dear diary:

Kristallnacht. We get stories from Germany in our newspaper. I dare not think what chaos is happening back in Germany right now. It's bad enough when they post the signs 'deufch verteidigt fud gegen die judifde oreunelpropanganda fauft' ( Germans defend yourselves agains jewish atrocite propaganda) so that no Germans would shop at our shops but now it's impossible to sell things even to Jewish costumers. (taken from Witnesses of War by Micheal Leapman, pg.11)

November 29 1938

Dear diary:

Uncle Yizhak has been forced to sell the magnificent grand piano- yes the one with the ivory keys and gleaming woodwork. Actually, he sold it so the Nazis won't be able to get there dirty hands on it first. They have already stolen 2 silver candlesticks and a Menorah that had been in the family for over 2 centuries! After that, we hid the rest of the family heirlooms. Also gone are our maids, cooks and butlers. Only faithful Joseph remains. I wonder why. He must need the money pretty desperatley.

December 11 1938

Dear diary:

We invited Joseph's family over for dinner last night. They are very plesant people, althought not rich at all. That's why Joseph has to work at such a young age. I on the other hand am not expected to work at all. Marry rich and have children, I suppose.

December 20,1938

Dear diary:

The rations have gotten even tighter. We are not going hungry, yet....

December 22, 1938 Hanunkkah

Dear diary:

Our third Hanunkkah in Poland. This year's celebration is very different from last years, and they year before that's. Mutti and Margot's mother had to do all the cooking, (Margot's family came to celebrate with us) and we had no Menorah to light. But we made the best out of everything the best we could. After that, played with Cupcake. She is so adorable! Margot and I tried to teach her a new trick. Cupcake already know how to roll over, play dead, fetch, bark when asked to and beg. Althought not as glamerous, I think that this year's celebration had more meaning to it.

December 25, 1938 Christmas

Dear diary:

Margot slept over last night, and is still asleep right now. I have secretly knitted mittens for everybody. Have to go, Margot is stirring.

Later: It is night now. Everyone loved my mittens. So glad...

January 1, 1939

Dear diary:

Peace- 1939. Again this year, I wonder what Hitler's New Years resolution is, now that he's conquered Poland. What next? All of Europe?

March 2, 1939

Dear diary:

Restrictions, restrictions, restrictions. The old rules are back.

April 15, 1939

Dear diary:

More restrictions.

May 2, 1939

Dear diary:

My birthday today. I am now 17. I wonder how many more birthdays I would live to see. Today is also Cupcake's birthday! She was so cute, having stuck her nose in the icing of my birthday cake. How simple life must be for a dog.

November 1, 1939

Dear diary:

Every part of me is aching as I write. Here's what happened. Mutti had sent me to the bakery with our ration coupons to get a loaf of bread. As I walked there, four big Polish boys were hanging around the corner of our house, so they must have seen me leave the house and knew I was rich. " Hey, aren't you the Jew-girl who's visiting that stinkin' filthy rich Jew?" The biggest one yelled at me. I tried to look down and ignore them as I walked on. "Hey you, I'm talking to you" Kept on walking. The biggest one now started to walk towards me, his gang following close behind. I began to run but was not fast enough. One of the guys stuck out his foot and I tripped. Another one pulled me back up by my hair. The third one punched me on the back so hard that I fell right back down. Finally, the biggest one signaled for them to stop. He stole my ration coupons and money ( it was a good thing I had forgotten to wear my locket, or that would've surely been stolen too) and sneered, " let that be a lesson to you, you swine." With that, they ran off. Mrs. Roth, the lady who lives down the street saw the whole thing, and came out to help me home. Mutti was horrified at what had happened, and then sent me off to bed to rest, which is what I am suppose to be doing right now. I think she's comming. -Eva

November 30th, 1939

Dear diary:

The Gestapo came early this morning to confiscate more things. The Grandfather clock that had once stood proudly in the front hall, almost all of the silverware, 3 beds from the guestrooms, 3 wardrobes, a lot of the jewlery and a load of Mutti and Uncle Yizhak's clothes. Only mines were spared. It must have been a miracle, because surely my gown would've been taken too if they had only searched my chest. We were expecting anyways.

December 22, 1939

Dear diary:

Happy Hanunkkah! This is our fourth Hanunkah in Poland, and the first under occupation. How I miss Germany! Margot and her family came over to celebrate with us, like all the other years. -Eva

December 25, 1939

Dear diary:

Merry Christmas! I had just finished reading my entry about the ball. I can still see it when I close my eyes and think really hard. How I wish that times were still all that simple!

January 1, 1939

Dear diary:

This time, I'm not going to say peace, for I'm sure that we won't have it anytime soon. That I never would've thought I'll say. New year, new decade. Things have gotten worst, especially with the Allies now. You know, *I get frightened to myself when I think of close friends who are now at the mercy of the cruelest monsters ever to stalk the earth* and I hope that I would not one day find myself among them, begging for the mercy in which we know will never come. -Eva

(*taken from the diary of Anne Frank)

March 11, 1940

Dear diary:

We must save all the coupons and money that we could. This diary does not have many pages left so I must write only when neccesary. -Eva

May 2, 1940

Dear diary:

Today is my birthday. I am now eighteen. An official adult. That is all.

November 10, 1040

Dear diary:

We received a notice today telling us to pack and report to the train station first thing tomorrow. We are limited to one bag per person. This is it, diary. Everybody knows where we are going. They call them the ghettos. Uncle Yizhak had gone mad and started to grab crystal goblets and throwing them all over the place. My dear sweet Cupcake is to be left with the Mrs. Roth. I'm sure she'll take very good care of her. She loves Mrs. Roth too and I'm sure she'll be happy there. I went to pack. This is what I am going to bring. 3 skirts, a dress, 8 pairs of underwear, 2 sweaters, 2 shawls, a hat, 2 scarves, 1 pair of mitten, 3 pairs of stockings as well as a coat, most which I am to wear in order to save room. I had debated this for a long time, my gown. What to do with my gown. I finally decided to put it in my chest and bury it outside the house. If I survive, then I can go back and dig it up. Uncle Yizhak agreed to help me and said that it was a good idea. Besides my clothes, I am also going to bring a picture of my family, paper, pen, books, most of my schoolbooks, and this diary. Mutti is going to sew money into our clothing-which we may need. I wonder if Margot has gotten the notice yet. Goodbye, dear home.

November 11, 1940 Warsaw ghettos

Dear diary:

Well, here we are. Not much of a home, but it'll have to do. The men were seperated to another group of buildings when we first got here. Our new 'home' is located in the poor part of the city. You should've seen Mutti's shocked face! Margot is living is living in the same apartment as us, so that's one good thing. Helping Mutti clean up the place was not fun at all. One thing I absolutly cannot stand is scrubbing and doing laundry. The place was so filthy and had a odd smell to it. It's also so very small that Mutti and I have to share the same bed. Luckily Mutti had brought along a few bars of soap along with a few sponges, and so did Aunt Becca ( Margot's mom who insisis that I call her that since we are so close that we are like family). Right now as I write, every single bone in my body is aching like hell. I must go now, it's dinner time.

Later:

Now not only are my bones suffering but also my stomach! Standing in line for a long time only to recieve a bowl of watery cabbage soup and if your lucky, a lump of potato along with a crust of black bread. The 'bathroom' consists of 3 holes dug into the ground in a small, wooden shack. I cannot believe it. Neither can Mutti. Lowering my pride is something that does not come easily for me. We are so used to the finest of everything. There is also a 'lights out' and if anybody is caught ouside after that time, they will be shot immediatly.