Hey everyone, time for Chapter 1

There's gonna be more dialogue from here on out, you're about to see more of our hero's world from his eyes.

The standard rules apply for his thoughts and what's he's writing.

Again, no copying without permission.

All right, here we go.

Chapter 1: The Day it All Began

Tony gazed around the classroom, his mind torn between his desire to put his head down and the old familiar instinct to take down notes. He was sitting in Freshman Orientation, or what he liked to call "Insomnia Cure" class. He looked around, everywhere there were unfamiliar faces, anybody he might've recognized he knew only by face. His professor Ms. Ryan was discussing effective note taking skills.

He didn't need to pay attention. He already knew the system by heart, he took out a book he brought with him and just started reading.

"Mr. Carrera, would you be studying for a test?"

For a second Tony didn't register his own last name, he was starting to get into the book. When he did, he looked around and saw the whole class turn to him simultaneously. He was after all, the only one reading.

"Uh....No. Sorry." He replied rather stupidly

He closed the book after that, and only pretended to be listening.

A pretty girl looked his way and started grinning, all of a sudden he felt very ugly and looked away.

Class went pretty slowly after that.

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(Fucking shit school...)

Tony thought to himself dryly as he gathered his things from his locker. If it were possible, they found a way to make them even narrower. Now it was a struggle just to get his blue duffel bag out of it. After he put on his old black leather jacket he looked to his left and saw a kid he recognized. His jaw dropped. He was from his high school! He knew him too, he had classes with him during his junior and senior year. He always heard him brag to his friends about how he smoked pot all day.

He didn't doubt that, but somehow the fucker managed to graduate too. No he was in his college, which he couldn't get in without a scholarship because his Dad couldn't afford it.

To add insult to the injury, he was talking to an incredibly attractive girl.

(That Fucker!)

"So what's up for the weekend Lauren?"

"Oh, I don't know...Sam, I gotta work."

"Can't you get out? There's gonna be a great fucking party coming up..."

Tony stopped listening, more times than not guys like that would get their way in the end. He headed home, angry at the fact guys like that always stay on top, the memory of the first time he got a dose of reality.

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Four Years ago......

He was walking down the stairs, his Spanish book in hand. Dressed in a dress shirt with tie, beige slacks and shiny black shoes, Tony Carrera headed to class. It was near the end of the school year, all his classes were reviewing for the finals.

He was heading down the stairs when he saw a kid he was hoping he wouldn't run into today.

Mike Bryant.

2 days ago, they had an argument in the cafeteria that almost came to blows.

Tony showed up extra early to get on the lunch line early, he was the first.

As more kids got on line behind him, one kid walked in, it was Bryant.

He approached the line casually, Tony didn't even take notice of him until he turned around and saw him in front of him.

He took offense to that, and they got into a heated argument that almost turned into a fight hadn't the other freshmen who knew them both pulled them apart.

It hadn't been 3 periods after that when one kid he knew only by face approached him and said:

"I heard you fucked up Bryant today."

He looked up surprised, it already got around?

"No, we both pegged each other once and then some kids broke us up."

He looked at him and then asked with a smile "Are you gonna fuck him up then?"

(What's it to him?)

"Look, I'm gonna defend myself if I have too, but I don't start fights."

By the next day, the rumor was going around how Carrera was bragging how he fucked up Bryant. Now word had it, Bryant was pissed.

He'd only avoided him for 1 day. Now he'd found him and he looked damned angry. He was shorter than Tony, but he had a much stronger build.

"There you are, you fucking bitch!"

(Oh, Great...)

"I heard you've been talking shit about me, you'd better fucking apologize."

(Christ, he did believe them....)

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. I never said anything like that."

"Hey, Mike take it easy man." That was James Fariola, his thinner, taller friend.

He didn't respond to him. His eyes were fixed on Carrera. He went up to him, and he smacked him in the face lightly, but enough to draw the attention of kids going by around them. OHHs' were heard everywhere. A crowd was starting to form. Tony started to feel nervous. He had just lost face, but maybe if he could talk some reason into him....

"Look, I never said anything, why should I apologize?"

His only response was another smack, harder this time followed by an "Apologize!"


"No! I won't! I NEVER said anything!"

A final slap, the hardest, knocked the glasses right off his face. He looked at the edge of eye at the crowd of boys watching. Nobody would intervene, no one would help him. He couldn't see well enough to read their facial expressions, but he heard the OHHHs raining down on him. Not even James could help him now.

He was angered now. How dare he! He was in the right! He was the one who cut in front of him! Now he wants him to ask for forgiveness for something he didn't do!?


Bryant gave him one more disgusted angry look, muttered "Bitch." and headed to leave. But now Carrera was pist, he forgot about the danger, never mind the fact he didn't know how to fight, all he wanted was to do now was FUCK THIS KID UP.

So as he turned, Tony slapped the back of his head to call his attention. Bryant paused almost not registering the blow. Then he turned around looking if possible more pissed.

Bryant said nothing his face glaring at Tony in a malevolent way.

Tony knew there was no turning back now.

He took off his bookbag, headed towards him, raised his fist and......

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(That Bastard....)

Tony didn't want to finish the memory, he gone through it thousands of times, and was reminded of it everyday even more.

Before he knew it he was outside his apartment, he'd been daydreaming the whole time there.

He got in the elevator, his bookbag was starting to feel heavy. He always did carry plenty of books home. Fifth floor, where his apartment was.

Nowadays, he was living with his father, brother, and aunt.

His mother passed away sophomore year. Another memory he didn't want.

As he entered the house, he shouted "I'm home!"

His aunt, in her usual trademark fashion echoed "Honey, I'm home!"

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing. Same ol' shit."


"Did you learn anything in school today?"

"No." He quickly responded to that, his tone of voice didn't go unnoticed, but she said nothing.

His apartment was pretty good by normal standards. Two bathrooms, four bedrooms, a kitchen, two hallways, not too bad at all. But after living there your whole life, you tend to not appreciate it.

He headed to his room, maybe he could get a nap.

He changed into his house clothes, a simple white shirt and some blue denim shorts and he headed to the bathroom mirror. He looked at himself.

He never did like what he saw.

(Too fucking fat...)He said to himself. In reality, he was pretty decent. He wasn't fat, he just wasn't defined, like the guys in those muscle mags.

His short black hair let a few bangs down, sometimes he'd comb it a certain way so they would come down. He felt he looked better like that. His brown eyes stared coldly at himself. He was about 5'9 at 155 pounds, a Puerto Rican of 18 who looked like he was already 30 by his facial hair.

He felt that familiar rage swell in him again, and decided maybe today wouldn't be such a bad day to write again about his fucked up life again.


Whew! Talk about some serious character development. I needed you guys to get more perspective on his life. More to come, next I cover his family life and his slow realizations that he needs to do something or he'll go crazy living the way he does. I'm just getting warmed up, please read and review people. Oh, if you're curious, that movie Tony was quoting in the Prologue was Fight Club.