Chapter 17

                "Why did you stop going after Jennifer?" I asked Michael. We were sitting at a playground, at the swings. A six-pack was on the ground, 4 cans were missing – he had 3 while I was still sipping on my first can.

                "I just wasn't qualified," he said, downing the last of his beer before crushing the can and placing it down next to the last two he had. "I have no looks, no money, no brains…" he sighed and reached for another can.

                "Aw, you're not that bad…" I took another sip. "You just have not found the right girl."

                "Speaking about right girls, why did you break up with Clair? You guys were perfect."

                I looked at him and sighed. I took out a cigarette and lit it up. Taking a drag, I released a puff of smoke into the night sky. My eyes followed the white swirls up into the sky before disappearing into nothingness. It was sad… there weren't even any stars out tonight.

                "What do you mean, Jo?" my angel asked me. I could see terror in her eyes, I could almost smell fear.

                "Why did you kiss him?" I repeated my question, my voice was trembling.

                "I don't know what you're talking about!"

                "Don't lie… please don't lie… I'd rather you break my heart. Than have you lie to me…" I could feel tears well up in my eyes. I've never felt so hurt in my life.

                "I really don't know what you're talking about!" The smell of fear was smothering me. She was feeling guilty.

                "I saw you Clair… your mom did not pick you up… he did." Before she could deny it again, I lost it. I shouted at her.

                "I SAW YOU! YOU WERE KISSING HIM! DON"T FUCKING LIE TO ME!" I broke into uncontrollable tears. She stared at me. I could see fear, pain and guilt in her eyes… she was guilty. As guilty as charged.

                "…I'm sorry." She said, in barely a whisper.

                "Why Clair? WHY?" I demanded an answer.

                "He's my boyfriend…" before I could say anything, she continued. "I was with him even before we were together."

                "Then why did you kiss me?"

                "I was curious… he knew about our relationship…"

                I can't believe my ears. My love, all this while… was never returned… it was all fake… a dream… a bad dream… no, a nightmare…

                "But I started to fall for you…" she continued, tears were flowing down her face now. "And it scared me…"

                I looked at her. I was confused.

                "It scared me because it's wrong… I'm not supposed to like you! But I'm falling in love with you…"

                "What about him?"

                "I love him too…" She wiped away some tears. "I don't know who to choose…"

                "I don't believe this… you were two-timing me all along?! I knew this was too good to be true…"

                "I'm sorry…"

                We stayed in silence for what seemed like an eternity. There was no noise except for our sobs and heavy breathing. I needed to cut.

                "Can you choose?" I asked her in a small voice. Even though she had just broken my heart, I still wanted her. I am actually hoping that she'll choose me. I looked at her; my eyes were begging her to choose. It was either now or never. I would either be saved or have my heart shattered beyond repair.

                She looked at me. Her eyes were swollen due to crying, I bet mine weren't pretty as well. I could no longer see any beauty in her. But my heart tells me that I love her… and that we were meant to be… but part of me was telling me to leave.


                I heard my heart break. I slowly got up and went to the door.

                "Where are you going?" she got up as well but hesitated to touch me.

                "You can't choose right?" I looked back at her with sad eyes. "Then I'll choose for you."

                I turned the knob and walked out, closing the door behind me.

                Goodbye, Clair…

                "Hey, it's okay if you don't want to talk about it…" Michael said. I must have spaced out for quite sometime, he looked worried, his fourth can was in his hand, untouched.

                "I'm sorry, just thinking…" I said, flicking off the ashes from my cigarette, taking another drag.

                Michael shrugged and opened the can. We sat there for a while… lost in our own thoughts.

                "You said you weren't qualified to be with Jennifer right?" I asked him.

                "Yea… well, I guess you can say that I was kinda disqualified. I never had the chance."


                That was the title of the song when Clair first sat in my car.

                "So you were qualified, weren't you? I mean, you're a guy. Guys are supposed to go for girls."

                "Yea… I guess…"

                "Well, you want to know why I broke up with Clair?"

                He nodded.

                "I wasn't disqualified, in fact, I wish I was. It's just that…" I trailed off…


                I blew out another puff of smoke before looking straight into his eyes.

                "I wasn't even qualified."

A/N: There!!! It's done!!! I'm really really sorry about the long long LONG delay cause I've been through some major ups and downs… take a look at the other stuff I wrote during 'Disqualified's break and you'll know what I mean. Anyway, this is the last chapter. Thanks for supporting me all the way though I tortured you people with delays, short chaps and deathly cliff hangers… You guys are just so great!

Kisses and hugs for everyone. (only if you review… hehe…)

Anyways, hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

PS. This is just a little note about 'Disqualified'. It's a semi-autobiography. I'm Jo. Clair's well… someone and Diane's another someone… If you're wondering if those things above happened to me, well, yes. Except for the parts where I go for dance classes, drive and cigarettes (and a lot of other stuff that are not THAT important, like this PS message). Yea, even Michael's real ^^.