Hey hey! CherryBlossom is back in action =P This my first original fic and it would greatly appreciated if you can read it! Please don't copy this story because I plan to publish it someday ^^ Please Review!

You'll Just Never Know Chapter 1 Not Ready For Goodbye

~*Shao Tan's Feelings*~ I had chosen him and not A Lung, who would do just about anything for me. Instead of choosing the one that loved me best I chose the one that don't really care. What was wrong with me? Was I dumb enough to have made this stupid decision? No. I made the right one. as much as A Lung cared, my love and heart would always be with Yan-Lee. Forever Always. So many times that I felt angry and devastated of the cause of him, but one look of his sheepish smile, my heart melted. For a long time I waited . and waited . I knew that his heart belonged to my friend Ai Xi, who I admit was really beautiful. Yan-Lee knew that she had a boyfriend but he didn't care, he waited for her as I waited for him. Sometime I felt all the pain and agony inside me, I yearned for his love and often I could feel the jealousy burning inside me. Why did Ai Xi had to look so good? Why did Yan-Lee love her instead of me? Why did she have so much power over people? With these envious thoughts I waited. waited for what seemed to be an eternity . for Yan-Lee to come, to be my lover. Then on that fateful day, what I recalled as the best day of my life, he came to me and spoke the most wonderful words that were so memorable that I still could hear it in my ears, words that had magical, silent melodies. Maybe. just maybe. I'm one step nearer to fulfill all of my dreams. *~

"Sitting here staring at the wall, another lonely tear falls, I'm trying to write you this song, but I can hardly see the page at all ." Shao Tan sung.

Shao Tan was a girl of 17, with flowing black hair, eyes the colour of timber and lips with bright shades of pink. She wore a summer pink and white top with ¾ length jeans. Shao Tan sat across from her boyfriend, Yan- Lee, trying to memorize her lines. Yan-Lee was 19 years old with jet-black hair. His eyes were the shapes of almond and it was amber-coloured. They were both sitting in a dessert shop, eating desserts that could water anyone's mouth, though Shao Tan was more memorizing either than eating.

"Lee, do I look sad enough?" Shao Tan asked trying to look as sad as possible.

Yan-Lee studied her face carefully. "You have put on a sad expression that does not match your scene. according to the script, you're suppose to be a girl whose boyfriend broke her heart. again, but you see, you look like a person who didn't get something that she wanted. through that sad look I can see laughter in your eyes, you can't do that!"

"Argh! Who would have thought that acting could be this hard!" Shao Tan cried.

Yan-Lee placed his hand on top of Shao Tan's. His caring smile warmed Shao Tan.

"This is your dream, you can't give it up. read those words carefully and you'll feel the emotion running through you, I know you well enough to know that you can get very emotional, especially after reading or watching something sad or dramatic. I know that you can get through today's audition. and I know that you'll be the star. I'm so lucky to have a girlfriend with so much talent."

Shao Tan felt the tears of happiness burning behind her eyelids.

"Thank you Lee, I really need your comfort and love at these kind of times." Shao Tan said and then leaned forward to kiss him softly on the lips. "Now why don't we go now? I sure don't want to be late."

They both got up and paid the necessary amount then left.

~*Ai Xi*~

The tears trickled down quickly, rushing, pouring down her cheeks. How could he? How dare he? Doesn't he have feelings? Ai Xi wrapped her arms around a big teddy bear, her head rested on the shoulders, her shoulder length black hair covering her side cheek. She cried furiously as she remembered the event that took place a few hours ago.

"Ai Xi, I think it's better if we separate."

Ai Xi looked at him wide eyed.

"I don't understand, Q.V . why do we have to separate? I don't see anything wrong with our relationship." Ai Xi stated.

"The truth is, there is nothing wrong. our relationship is fine."

"Then what's the problem?" Ai Xi asked, hoping this was just one cruel joke.

"I just.lost the love that I had for you. I had tried to just go on with you and see whether it would come back, but Ai Xi, it wouldn't. You've been great. brilliant even. don't worry to much about it. and it's not your fault it's mine."

It's not your fault, it's mine. were those the words that were going to end my relationship? Ai Xi thought.

Ai Xi stood up on her feet, her shoulders held back. Despite her strong posture, the tears had swelled up in her eyes.

"This is not fair! How can you just break up with me because of that? Q.V. I don't want to break up with you. I can't break up with you. you're my world. I love you so much." Ai Xi said, her tone from firmness slowly melting down.

Q.V grabbed her two arms and held it close to his heart. "That is very nice to know Ai Xi, but you don't want to live a lie, do you? To be honest, no one could replace you in my heart. there will always be 'Ai Xi' graved on my heart. but. for now. I need to leave you, before I hurt you and ."

"YOU DON'T CALL THIS HURTING ME?" Ai Xi screamed out.

Q.V soothed Ai Xi as he hugged her close to his heart. She sobbed hard against his chest, wishing and praying that Q.V would change his mind.

"I'm sorry Ai Xi, I don't want to hurt you even more. please forgive me for doing this, someday I'll make it up to you. I promise ." he said softly.

"The only way that you can make it up to me is to stay being my lover." Ai Xi said then she ran out.

Leaving the boy that she truly loved behind.

Ai Xi sobbed harder on her teddy bear, she could smell the scent of Q.V's perfume, still very strong.

Why was this happening to her? She asked herself. Life was not fair! What did she do to deserve this? She needed someone, she needed someone to always be there and now she saw that Q.V couldn't do that. She needed someone. someone that could stop her being hysterical, someone who could make her laugh, someone who would love her forever.and that person was .

~*Shao Tan*~ Shao Tan was seated in the middle of the hall with Yan-Lee seated by her side. She rolled her script and was gripping it nervously. She bit her lips as she eyed the stage that she would have to demonstrate on. It was big with scarlet drapes on the sides. It was a wooden stage with lots of room to move around on. The thought of her, standing up there, in front of everyone. scared her.

Yan-Lee could feel Shao Tan shaking next to him. He wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her lightly.

"Everything is going to be ok." he soothed.

"I sure hope so." she replied.

It wasn't long before Shao Tan's name was called out. She got up slowly and walked over to the side and talked to the director. She smiled nervously at time to time as they discussed the scene that they were about to do.

Yan-Lee watched her carefully. His eyes followed her as she got up the stage and he could almost feel her nervousness and tension. Shao Tan looked his way and Yan-Lee smiled to give her strength.

Shao Tan smiled and prepared herself. She started walking to the middle of the stage where she came face to face with the boy actor, Fei-Zu. A sudden noise twitched her ears. It was the ring tone for Yan-Lee's cell phone. She could hear him whisper 'Hello' then almost as if this was her nightmare, she heard him exclaimed 'Ai Xi!' A feeling of dread and fear flooded through her body. What was Ai Xi doing, calling Yan-Lee?

Shao Tan turned her head slightly and looked over at Yan-Lee, but he wasn't there anymore. He was gone.he's going to miss her audition. How could he? How could he miss the most important thing in her life? Oh I hate Ai Xi! I hate her! I hater her! How dare she? How dare she took him away from her at a time like this? And Yan-Lee. how could you? How could you leave? Why? Why Yan-Lee? Why?!

Shao Tan felt the hot tears burning, preparing it selves to come out. She looked back at Fei-Zu standing a few feet away from her. Instead of his face that she saw, she saw Yan-Lee, looking straight at her.

Fei-Zu walked forward and hugged her quickly.

"I'm sorry I've caused you pain. I'm sorry I had ever hurt you, please forgive me, I know you must be tired of forgiving me all the time, but please give me another chance and I promise you this is the last time I would ask for 'another chance'" he said.

Shao Tan looked across the stage. The tears suddenly poured down.

"Why? Why do you always have to hurt me? Haven't I showered you with affection and love? Why can't you do the same to me? I. I . I'm not strong like you are, I'm.I'm not capable of hurting you like the way you always hurt me. Don't think that I don't know.I saw the way you always look at her when she's near, those longing eyes. Why can't I see that look on your face when you gaze at me? It's just not fair! I deserve something. I don't. I don't. I don't want to always cry my tears for you. I want to shed tears along with you. I want to have tears of happiness. is that really so much to ask for? I need you. I need you so bad. and words just can't express how much you mean to me. are you willing to love me? The way I love you? Are you? Are you?" Shao Tan said, her lines came out brilliantly, although she added lots of bits to it. In her mind she was saying this to Yan-Lee.

Shao Tan had affected everyone in the hall, the director, Fei-Zu and the other people who were trying to win her part. Fei-Zu was crying as he held on to her.

"I'm. I'm willing to love you.in fact I already do.let's start over." Fei- Zu said between his tears.

As soon as he had finished saying those lines, everybody stood up and clapped their hands. The director walked up to the front of the stage.

"I think we have found our 'Precious' . Shao Tan, congratulations, you will be the main character in the soon to be Korean series called 'My Precious'." he announced.

Shao Tan couldn't believe the reality she was in. One, she just gained her dream to be an actress, and second, she just lost the guy that she always had longed to cherish forever. The tears kept on trickling down her cheeks as she forced a smile on her face. She pretended to be happy. She was happy, part happy but deep in her heart, she grieved. grieved for Yan-Lee. Because she knew, right then and there, when Yan-Lee stepped out of the hall, he had chosen Ai Xi and had left her.

"Miss Shao Tan, are you ok? It seems that you are really breaking down." The Director asked.

"No. No. I'm ok. I'm just so happy.nothing could mess my day now." she lied while she put on a mask of happiness.

"That's good to know, you've filled out the form haven't you?"

Shao Tan nodded.

"Good, that means we have all the necessary details, we'll call you the day after tomorrow and set the schedules. ok?"

"Ok, I'll leave now then?" Shao Tan said.

"Yes, yes, if you want to of course, you're welcome to stay around if you want. but if you don't, sure, you may leave."

"I. I have to go, I'll talk to you in a while then. thank you for giving me this opportunity."

"No it's fine, I thank you for having a really good talent."

Shao Tan said her goodbyes then she grabbed whatever it was that was hers and left the building. She walked to a peaceful park that had a lake with the sun's reflection. It shone out as if tiny crystals were floating on the surface. She kneeled down and cried hard.

Why? Why did you leave me? Is she so much better than me? Please don't leave me. I want to make it right. I need you to be beside me, to give me strength. We can last forever if only you are willing. I know that you at least love me a little, I can see it in your eyes.but. u hid the other feelings away. Though sometimes you let it show. I didn't want to loose you, and I don't want to loose you now. not ever. Haven't I taken Ai Xi's place in your heart? Oh I really hate you for this!! But how can I hate you when I love you? Oh please Yan-Lee, don't hurt me. Shao Tan said in her mind.

Suddenly, she felt vibrations in her pocket. It was her cell phone. She quickly got it out hoping that it was Yan-Lee then he could tell her another reason why he left. She didn't care whether it was a lie or not, just let it be a reason that could satisfy her. Shao Tan looked at the cell phone screen and to her disappointment it was Yan-Gow, Yan-Lee's brother.

"Hello?" Shao Tan said to the receiver, trying to hide her sadness.

"Shao-Tan? How was the audition?"

"I made it through, I'm going to be the lead actress." "Wow!! I knew you would have made it! How's Yan-Lee taking it.?"

"He. He. doesn't know." Shao Tan said then she couldn't take it anymore. She cried again letting Yan-Gow hear her.

"Shao Tan.are you ok? Where are you?" He asked, his voice deep with concern.

"I'm. not that far away. 'sobs' from the . hiks, from the audition place, hiks, I'm in a park near the lake."

"Stay where you are.I'm going there ok? I'm pretty close so I won't be long.ok?"

"Ok." Shao Tan said.

Shao Tan sat beside the lake as she waited, thinking about the memories that she had with Yan-Lee. How wonderful they were. She wondered whether she would have some more good memories with him.

True to his words, Yan-Gow didn't take long to come. He resembled Yan-Lee but Yan-Gow had the wiser look on his face. He was older than Yan-Lee by two years. As soon as his eyes found Shao Tan, he came running and kneeled down beside her.

"Shao Tan. what's the matter?" he asked with curiosity written on his face.

Shao Tan suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck, placing her head on his chest, seeking for comfort. She placed tears on Yan-Gow's top but Yan-Gow didn't care. He really liked Shao Tan, he considered her as his own sister.

"Yan-Gow? Am I . am I really that bad? Hikz" Shao Tan asked. "Am I. not worth it? Am I not worth anything?"

"Shao Tan. what are you talking about? What happened? What did Yan-Lee do?" Yan-Gow asked.

Shao Tan hesitated before she spilled out the whole story. "Yan-Lee. he. he left me. when I was on the stage, he. hiks.he got up and left. I. I don't know where our relationship went wrong, hiks. We hardly ever argue. I . I never get to close to any other guy. hiks.tell me Yan-Gow. where did I went wrong? 'sobs' tell me where I went wrong.tell me so I'll try to fix it."

Yan-Gow was very close to tears, hearing Shao Tan said those things. Yan- Lee, how could he disappoint her like that? After all those things she had been through. Yan-Gow tried to calm Shao Tan down when they heard footsteps coming near. They both looked up and saw Ai Xi with Yan-Lee. Yan-Lee was trying to make Ai Xi smile. They both stopped walking when they saw Yan-Gow and Shao Tan, both very nervous.

~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~ Yama-chan- So what do you think of this chapter?? Review Review!