I think I'll sue Danielle Steel

For false information

Ain't no such thing as love

God damn romance novels

Make me wanna spew

Those hapless authors

Just don't have a clue

And those fucking soaps

Man they make me sick

Passions is the only show

Where a guy has 3 chicks

4 better or worse

And it's definitely worse

The real truth about love

Is that it's a ruthless curse

I think I'll sue God come to think of it

For making up the Bible

Monogamy: that's a laugh

Marriage: what's the fucking point?

It's just not financially wise

Divorce is expensive

And so are all the lies

Love is pointless

A really crazy thing to do

It's all incredibly stupid

From my humble point of view

4 better or worse

And it's always worse

The only truth about love

Is that it's a ruthless curse

And while we're in court

May as well take a shot at Bette Midler

Roses have thorns and they hurt

Some say love

Is a rose

Amidst the winter snow

Some say love

Is a star

In the night aglow

Some say love

Is incredibly stupid

And I'm inclined to agree

I say love

Is non-existent

That's what it seems to me

Some say love

Is more beautiful

Than life itself

Some say love

Is a release

For feelings left on the shelf

Some say love

Is perennial

That it will come in due course

I say love

Is quite expensive

For it ends in a divorce

For better or worse

It's definitely worse

Love's mindless tortures

Are endlessly diverse

For better or worse

It's definitely worse

The truth about love

Is that it's a fucking curse