Author's Note -- It seems I'm straying from my original devotion to solid anime fanfiction. It seems that now I'm doing poems and original stories? ...Yay. Anyway, this piece is one I did a few months back, and I'm not very proud of it, but I thought I would post it anyway. Just to see if anyone would read it and review. This story differs from my writing style by an ocean. It has a lot of Catholic-based religious theology, and I don't remember quite what my state of mind was when I wrote it, but... -_-

http://www.geocities.com/sephlorraine/begin.html -- Inc.

Disclaimer -- This piece, both the poem and the literature, are composed by me. Please do not copy or use elsewhere.


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Miri: You are a sad, sorry little person.

Seph: I know. -_-

Miri: Man, when did I -ever- give you inspiration to write such morbid
things as this.

Seph: ... -_-

Miri: I mean, this is just REALLY pathetic--

Seph: I GET THE PICTURE!!! -_-

Miri: n_n Just makin' sure.


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Misery
By: Seph Lorraine



I watched you through my suffering. The skies around me downcast into a state of weeping. I, myself, saw only the crimson droplets that slipped slowly from your curled lips. Is it a fate you found me? Or rather mistake?

If anything, have I learned, it has been fate. Fate smiles upon those who suffer, and blesses them with revenge. When one suceeds in his revenge, he does please fate. Until he suceeds, he is fate's to tempt.

I have to long been a victim of fate.


Hide behind me,
Prepare to see
All this pain,
Misery,


Might you wait here, unwatchful as I open the doors of Hell. You shall see, as I have, that Hell is a kind place. Warmth. Burning desires. Mortality. Does my irony amuse you? The small smile that flashes through my mind is seen through my eyes, but not through my lips. You deserve no grins.

I want you to see what I've been through. See what I think. What I breath. What I hear. What I feel. I curse upon you! You shall see such suffering upon your own soul until it perishes existance. Though... What of my own soul?

Lucifer and I have a deal.


What you thought,
All was fraud,
The tears you cried
Before his rod,


You had so long tricked me into listening and believing what it was you said. I listen no more. I am deaf to the point of hearing. Numb to the point of feeling. I dwell in my still growing hatred for you.

So many times I wept. Before you and alone. My eyes are red and glassy. My fury burns through, untainted.


The hours,
When you lay awake,
Crying, angry,
It's not fake,


No matter how many times one does cry, one will never be paid gold for tears.

I know this reality you have forced upon me. This wretched, morbid, consciousness. It keeps me from my sleep. Insomnia. Is it another of you vile curses?

Fatigue plagues me, begging rest, and when I seek it, I find none. No release from this world, for even a moment's precious time. Though, if I slept, should nightmares haunt me? Your face. Your smile. My fear. My grief.

I come in running to the rain. My few moments of freedom before the reality returns.


Do you come
Within these doors,
To weep upon
Our sodden floors,


When will these feelings stop? One does tire of anger and hatred. I never wanted such evil within me, but alas I see it's worth. Will it not be the one to save my soul? Will it not be the one to free me from this blood stained bondage?

My tears flow with pain. The sting my eyes likes pins. They release little of what is held within me. I know what I'm doing is not wise... Though, fate shall smile when I finish.


Cry us a river,
We sisters call,
Fill it with blood,
Taken us all,


I remember the angels and how they warned me. I gave them but little notice as I headed along my way. How would they know anything of what I do? What right have they to judge me? Even they could never understand this hate.

They sense me with their defined bright eyes. They know my thoughts. 'Don't be a child,' they say. 'Just destroy them all! Surely that shall relieve your pain!' They mock me.

I hate them.


Bath in it thrice,
And may you hear,
Once more for luck,
And an added year,


'Do you not see? What you do is wrong! What shall you accomplsih but death? Dost thou make wishes upon stars for lucky and good fortune? Dost thou toss pence to your wells in hopes of long living?' Those eyes. That face. Not unlike your own. Cruel and harsh. Painful and sad.

'What would one, such as I, have to live for?' And I continued my walked.


Maim and slaughter,
Don't think twice,
You're turns up,
Now, roll your dice,


I heard their cries after me as I walked astray. They tease me of sins and shun me with haught. I have no need for them, and I dismiss their voices from my mind.

When I find him, he is risen up before me. Black as my starless sky with wings of a raven's flight. He does not frown before me nor smile. He nods to me with peace and gestures me forward.

Is he my saviour?

My approach is hastened as I see his face. Such beautiful crystals has he for eyes, and skin like the pale arctic snow. As he speaks I hear nothing, but feel what he says. I tell him my story, and he gives me a plan.


Don't be angry,
But wickedly smug,
Don't be wary,
[It's a perfect drug,


He warned me, he did. Telling me to what what I spoke, and monitor my actions greatly. He told me of fear's mistaken place, and anger's disguise. My saviour, he was, and he told me to hide my emotions, and play the game as it is. Like reading a book as it is written.


Call on us once,
We sisters call,
And we shall ensure
Morality's fall,


Though, upon my exit, I crossed once more past the angels.
'Cain would smile upon you!' I hear them cry.

'I weep for Abel.' I snapped back.


Call us again,
Cry us three,
And you will ensure
Your misery,


They offered me little help and told me to turn back from my plans and what my saviour had told me. They cursed him and preached vulgarities at his name. They warned me of his wickedness, and returned to their mockery. They mocked him.

I hated them.


Take what you need,
Do as you will,
And do not forget
To plan your kill,


In my mind, as I reapproached my reality from the rain, I remembered what my saviour said. All of warnings and plans were sunked deep into my skull, down to the very pit of my heart. I knew what I must do, and he encouraged my actions.


When he does fall,
We shall await,
We'll carry the torch
To yonder own gate,


I thought they saw me as I approached. The angels from the rain. Though, this time they said nothing, but merely watched me with grave faces, until on called, 'You can turn back, now, and be forgiven.'

A paused, 'No. What have I to be forgiven of? I was cursed and I shall remove my curse! I need none of your mockery. I will not return to the way things are... For they are soon to an end. I will be free!'

And they watched.

The job was done quickly. Your death. I did as my saviour commanded and took your blood. There was no second thoughts and no time for goodbyes. I took my freedom through your life. Fate smiles upon me, for I have succeeded! I am no longer a victim of this reality!

The angels wept and disappeared, leaving in their hollow place, none other than my saviour himself.

'Thank you! You have freed me!' My cry was of bliss and true happiness. For once, I experienced joy.

His smile was dark, and there was an edge a knife to his thin black lips. 'Though, you must remember our agreement.'


We weep for you, mortal,
Thou art so late,
For you, our fine fish,
Hath snagged our bait.


'Your soul is mine.' Is what he said. And I suddenly knew his game. He had pulled me into his web of sins and my unwanted death became.

Never sell your soul to a God with wings of black. Revenge is more wicked to you than whoever you seek it upon. My soul is now ashen, his forever. I'm covered in your blood and I always will be... Red with your life, Black with my sin, and trapped in misery.




Reviews are kindly appreciated. ^_^