Shadow Spinner

By Akaia Autumngold

Started 12 November 2002.


My name is Aryah.

That's pronounced 'Ar-I-ah', not Ari-something as Tyfonas insists on calling me. Typical boy. I always said he was trouble from the start- but anyway, I'm not saying what I wanted to say.

But I don't know how to begin.....

How can I explain to you-the reader I do not know-all the things I went through? The things we went through-

The fear, the hope, the anger, the danger. The joy....

My name's Aryah, and at the time that this story starts, I was 15. I'm an Arsonist, someone who lights fires and has expertise with flame. My 'criminal' name is Fire Angel, and very appropriate it is too.

At the time that this story starts I didn't know what it was that made me full of joy when I saw tongues of fire reach up into the night, and the sky lit up with a red glow, like distant, far-off angels beckoning to me……there is something about fire that is akin to myself.

But I wonder, if things had turned out differently, would I be here now, who I am, what I am?

'If' is such a mysterious word. It's like silk, when you try to grasp it, it slips away from beneath your fingers. Another such word is 'sacrifice'.

That is the word that haunts me.

When I close my eyes, that is the word I hear. When I lie down in bed, before sleep takes me, and beyond, in dreams, that is the word that reverberates around in my head. It follows me everywhere.

That is why I'm writing this. Setting it down on paper, making it come alive again.

Maybe writing this will release me, set me free from the torment of memories.

Maybe this will liberate me from the tyranny of guilt.

Maybe this will stop my memories...