Why cannot a minute go without a thought of her,

Where is life's old sense of excitement and adventure,

Why do all flowers turn to roses in my sight,

Then wilt and die and shrivel in fright.

The trees and the wind turn their faces from me,

I look into the mirror and see in my eyes a bottomless sea,

A sea of anger and pain and hate,

Is to be consumed by all this my endless fate.

Why can I not forget your name and face,

Why does everything without you seem out of place,

Why can I not see you as you are,

Turn you away and send you afar.

What power do you have over my soul,

That without you nothing seems whole,

What power do you have over my spirit,

That no form of joy is safe from it.

Why am I tested night and day,

O God what have I done to be tested in this way.

I threw you out of my life for the evil you create,

But now is it really too late,

To call you back into me and live my life for right,

To be able to go to sleep and dream at night,

To not be up until the morning's early hours,

Knowing that somewhere my soul is being devoured.

Is she sent on this earth as a trial,

For the power she has over me there is no denial,

What right does she have to ruin my life,

To reduce me into a heap living off spite,

Why give her power over me,

I make this as a final plea,

If I let you in me once more,

If I open my most inner most door,

If I cast pride out,

And become truly devout,

Would you get her out of me,

And stop this endless agony.

McD