***Hullo there all! It's me yet again. I'm back…yes be afraid be very afraid. Well a lot of things have been getting in the way from writing this. It's been a work in progress for a while now. The sequel is here finally! I hope it is starting off well enough. Really I don't want it to get boring or stale. So here is the beginning chapter of what you all have wanted. I hope everyone likes it.***
What can I say about all that had happened? You know what had went down. My whole family, everyone I held close and dear, had lied to my face. I was supposed to be able to trust them with so much and not worry about them keeping reality from me. It's too horrible of a feeling to put into words. My one and only boyfriend who I know I loved more than I ever will love anyone again shattered my heart. He had even dated my dead sister.
Now I don't exchange words with any of them. My parents get a line every now and then but nothing that would take any real effort into it. I don't think they deserve anything that takes my precious time. Parents are supposed to protect, and they lead me right into danger. They knew all about Jeremiah and Marisol, but they seemed so happy I was hanging out with them. I just wish they had told me something…anything. Who's to say I wold have listened, but that is beyond the point.
I have a brand new life now. College is great and so is my new boyfriend. Of course sometimes I find myself going to comparisons, but I am only human. I kick myself once I realize what I am doing though. He is out of my life now, and I don't need to be thinking about him while I'm with Houston.
They haven't tried, and I know they won't get in touch with me. If you can comprehend a apology that would be sufficent don't be afraid to share. I'd be much obliged. Then maybe I can grasp why they would do this to me. Me of all people whom they said they loved and had future plans with. I guess once a liar always a liar eh?
Friends now, I don't trust as easily. Before I let anyone in that wanted to be a part of my life. Now it's as if I have a list, and if they don't make the grade they hit the curb. I hadn't even wanted to get involved with another guy either. Houston had been very persistent, and he is a lot like me. He is brilliant and going to be a lawyer. Not that I think I'm brilliant. We just share a lot of things in common. It is a really nice thing, but I'm not going to say that sometimes it isn't annoying. When there is no conflict it can get boring to say the least. It's easy though and right now I need that kind of comfort.
"Did you finish your thesis yet?" I turned and smiled small at my boyfriend. His face is buried in a textbook. That means his attention is split. Half is on the text, and the other half is on me. That doesn't bother me so much. I like that I can be with him and at the same time it's as if I'm by myself.
"When is it due again?"
"Next week Thursday." I put my hand on his book and pulled it down to get his attention briefly. It worked. His creamy brown eyes lifted to mine.
"Then that means I finished it," I trailed off leaving him to guess. Of course he knows better and knows that it had been nearly completed the same day that it was assigned. Procrasination is like masturbastion…in the end all you are is fucked. Sorry about that but these days I'm not so uptight, righteous, and wholesome as I used to be. Mean people suck, love stinks, and life bites…what more can I say.
"Knew you would be." His lips quirked up into a small smile before his eyes fell back down to the page. It's impossible to get through him once his zoned into the collection of compiled data. He's more of a freak for acquiring knowledge than even me.
We walked back to the library together. He's going to stay there and study some more while I go back to my dorm. I'm in desperate need of some rest. College life while having a boyfriend is not only time consuming but energy as well. I gave him a peck on the cheek, and we departed wordlessly.
"Jamison phone," my roomate announced as soon as I walked through the door. I sighed inwardily and went to the tossed cordless on my bed. Who knows how long whoever it is has been waiting. Ginny wouldn't be my first choice of roomates, but I have no choice.
"Timber, it's Marisol." I turned it off and tossed it back on my bed.
"Wrong number," I announced and flung myself on the mattress face first. Like I promised to myself I am not going to speak to either one of them. No amount of groveling or apologizing will change that. They couldn't have screwewd up worse if they had tried to kill me themselves.
"I don't understand you Jamison." I briefly glanced up to see her. She's leaning against the doorframe to the bathroom. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and she's sending me a look as if she is my mother.
"What happened now Ginny?"
"Look at you," she snorted and turned her head away. I brought my head up and looked at her with raised eyebrows.
"If I looked anything like you I wouldn't waste my time with that loser of a guy you're dating right now. I've seen that picture of that blonde guy. He's fine. Why aren't you dating him now?"
"He banged my sister." It's none of her damn business and just saying that is more than enough information as far as I am concerned. The rude brunette will never be a part of my life. Just being my roomate is more than enough for me. She's rude and a noisy gossiper.
"Oh shit are you for real?" I didn't even acknowledge with a nod but she got the idea. "You are more screwed up than I thought so. A mental case huh sweetie."
"You call it as you see it," I mumbled and buried my face into my pillow. She's too much. I don't know how I'm supposed to stand her for a whole school year. The possibilty of her dropping out is a lost case. Her parents have a wing of the school named after them. She's here on nearly a free and easy ride. I am so lucky. Maybe I should have gotten a place off of campus. Then I wouldn't be stuck with a whiny spoiled Prescott.
Holidays. I hate holidays with a bloody passion now. Do I really have to go home and visit my family? Why must I celebrate Thanksgiving? It's a commercial holiday that is just in the way of Christmas. The last thing I want to do is go home and pretend to be happy to see everyone again. Most of the people there I don't even know. I'm lucky if I even remember myself sometimes. It shows you how good my memory is. After all I did somehow forget my very own sister. The fact alone has earned me a for sure ticket straight to hell once I kick the bucket or buy the farm.
"Mom…dad," I mumbled while hugging them both. They are grinning ear to ear while I want to rip off their lips. It all seems so fake to me.
"How has school been? You haven't called much."
"It's good. I've been busy studying and spending time with Houston." They exchanged quick glances between themselves before settling back on me. Houston isn't obviously as easily welcomed as Jeremiah had been. I can't blame them though. Before, I hadn't even wanted him in my life at all, but now he's a comforting fixture.
"Why didn't you bring him along?"
"He's staying at school. His parents tried to get him to go home, but he doesn't celebrate holidays." My father smirked while bending down and picking up my bag.
"How do you not celebrate holidays? Why doesn't his family eat together on specially picked days?" I shrugged not really caring for the topic. Houston just doesn't do it. What more do they want from me. I'm sure I could write them a paper on it if they'd prefer. Seriously though it is none of their business. I didn't invite him so they didn't have to worry about an extra mouth to feed.
"Honey stop it already. Just be happy your daughter is here." Oh yes they must be estatic. I know I am bursting with fruit flavor. Jeez! I shouldn't be this way. They're my parents, and I love them. It's Jeremiah and Marisol I have to hold the grudge against. Family will always be there for you, but friends and boyfriends are always replaceable. It shows you how replaceable Jeremiah was. Houston doesn't even know about him. What little Ginny does know she got it from our lacking conversation. My past is no one's business but my own. That's why it's called 'my.'
"Sorry sweetie," he mumbled and glanced towards the kitchen. Looking back at my mother she bit down on her lip and darted her eyes away quickly. Well how more guilty can she be?
"Mom," I whined like a small spoiled child. Uusally I never do such a thing but something is up. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that much out.
"Look honey I know you aren't coercing with Jeremiah or Marisol right now but." Oh no but mom! I glared at her making her sentence hang in the air. She knows better than get involved in my shit. Right now they themselves aren't on my favorite people list either.
"You invited them?"
"No…they're not both here. It's just…"
I didn't have to, but I spun around to the familiar voice. Standing in the doorway is the person I least want to see in the world. He's leaning against the doorway with a crooked smile. I hate him. Really hate him with a passion, and he looks somewhat smug. If only I could walk right up to him and slap him right across the face again.
"Jeremiah," I muttered and turned back to my parents. "What is he doing here?" I hissed.
"He had no one to spend Thanksgiving with. You know his mother Timber. We couldn't let him spend it alone." I glared at my mother while she gave me her explaination. My father is being way too quiet for my own liking.
"Don't worry. We're not trying to get you two back together." Doesn't matter even if they were. That is not going to happen. I'd rather scrap my gums and eyeballs while giving myself a root canal. Wait…maybe that isn't bad enough. I can go deeper if you'd like.
"Hey," Jeremiah said drawing my attention again. I groaned inwardly and turned back to him. Why is he trying to talk to me? Did he somehow forget what happened just a few months ago? I know that my heart is not completely over him, but my mind has dropped him already. When does my brain and heart ever get along anyway. It's a battle, but one I know I have a choice over. I am NOT getting back together with Jeremiah. Ever!!!
His lips trailed down my neck and nibbled on the collar bone. My head dropped back allowing him better access while I tangled my fingers in his touseled blond hair. His hands gathered handfuls of my sweater in the back while holding me tightly to him. I could barely keep my eyes open or have a coherent thought at the bliss I felt from his touch, smell, and eargerness. He wants me as much as I want him. It has been way too long since I have been kissed more than a peck. Houston is never up for public or really any displays of affection. Right now we're going further than I have at all with my boyfriend. This doesn't feel like cheating either. It feels too good to be wrong. Sure he would mind but at this paticular moment what's best for him is not a top priority for me. What is is how I'm going to get to his bare chest with all this layers of clothing keeping him warm. I think that is my job. Keeping him warm that is.
His chest rumbled with a chuckle as I struggled to pull it up over his head. I'm feeling very needy right now, and he is staying incredibly patient. He deserves a smack for looking so cool and calm while I'm in a feverish race to disrobe him. The thought of my hands over his tight six pack and his hands all over me is making my head swim. I shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be doing this. We shouldn't be doing this.
I felt an elbow jab me in the ribs, and my eyes snapped open. It hadn't been real. None of it was real expect the familiar feelings I felt. I know what his body feels like. We did date for a while though. I turned to the person that elbowed me and forced an artifical smile. It had been my annoying cousin Matty. She's going to be a future anal Martha Stewart wannabe. Joy for anyone whom gets in her way.
"Who's the guy?" she asked gesturing with a jerk of her head to my ex. Oh my god he is my ex. I can't believe I really went out with him. It seems so unrealistic yet I know that in fact I did. He lied to me, remember?
"Jeremiah," I mumbled dodging eye contact with him. The day dream is still lingering somewhat in my head, and I don't need him to see me blushing like a infatiuated little girl. I have a whole new life now and an entirely different sort of man in my life. Houston would never do anything horrendous like Jeremiah had done to keep me. That's just not the way he is. I am thankful for that.
"Jeremiah? The Jeremiah as in the one you dated?" Yes yes the one and the same. I nodded briefly and stared down at my empty plate. Before anyone can get food we have to go around the table and say what we are thankful for this year.
I don't have a clue what to be thankful for anyhow. There is Houston, but we're not hot and heavy. He's more like a security blanket than a long time boyfriend. I'm more than postive he won't be around forever but there will be others. School is going really well 'knock on wood'. I may even be able to go to medschool a little early. Friends are not really my speciality so you can say that I'm lacking on that department. Which is fine with me because they come and go. I've learned though experience you can't trust either boyfriends or best friends. They are not stable enough, and in my case not trust worthy enough.
"Timber," my father's deep voice cut through my thoughts. I looked up at him and realized that the whole table is focused on me. Apparently it is my turn now. What can I say? I opened my mouth hoping something would come out but nothing did.
"Umm." Lie Timber! After all who will know the truth? No one because no one knows you any more. You've changed and put up a brickwall so thick a sledge hammer and a wrecking ball isn't about to get through it. "I'm thankful for school this year and all my friends. Houston is great, and I'm thankful that I have a reliable man in my life finally." A few seats down I saw Jeremiah visibly flinch. It made me feel inwardily trumiphant. He deserves to be reminded of it. I know I can't forget about it.
A few minutes later it was Jeremiah's turn. I tried not to notice that he looked directly at me while he spoke. He wasn't trying to be discreet. I could reach down the table and smack him.
"I'm thankful for Mr. and Mrs. Jamison for inviting me here with their family. If they hadn't I would be home alone probably eating a bowl of lucky charms. So many little things to be gracious for, but I guess I should just pick the one I thank God for every night. So I guess I'm thankful for Timber." Matty gasped softly but loud enough for me to hear. At his declaration everyones' eyes trailed from Jeremiah to me. I could have smacked him if I could catch my breath or not feel like I'm sitting infront of everyone in my underwear.
Once the silence started to get stale my surprise transformed into anger. He would go and say something like that. I don't know if he is just trying to rack up brownie points with my family or what. He has to know there is no chance with us. I may have an occasional day dream about him, but I'm only human. My heart wants what my brain can't stand.
I had slapped him before I left and had made no sort of contact with him before today. So can someone please tell me how he is thankful for me. I want to ask but not infront of everyone. That would seem desperate and cheesy. Pathetic is more like it. I am not a pathetic person so I'm keeping it all to myself. Inside. That is where I keep everything. Maybe I like to let things fester until it drives me mad. It would seem as if I do.
"Okay Joshua," my father spoke up cutting through the looming silence Jeremiah had created.
"Turkey!" The five year old has been gazing dreamidly at the bird all night. His exclamination brought a somewhat welcomed laughter from everyone but two. Jeremiah nor I laughed. His eyes are piercing into mine and mine are unfocused yet on him. I can't look at him. Not now after I know what he thinks. How he is somehow grateful for me eventhough I am no longer in his life.
Of course I have to confront him, but I waited until after dinner was through. It seemed logical enough. Yeah right though. Who did I think I was trying to fool? Am I really supposed to have a civilizaled conversation with my ex? How is that possible after the break-up? It was not exactly smooth as I recall. Actually it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It was for the best though. Right? Everything will work out better in the long run, eh? Being with a lying boyfriend won't bring anything good, right?
What can I say though without sounding like a whiny bitch? I don't want to sound pathetic. Was it just me or does it seem like he still has feelings for me? How I feel is not in question here. The less we talk about me the better. In fact we shouldn't even talk about me. At all!
"Hey Timber. How have you been?" Well there goes my plan eh? No wait I don't have to answer it.
"Why did you say that? Infront of my whole family you said…you said that." I had stuttered on what I was trying to say.
"So? I wasn't allowed to? It's what I am thankful for."
"How? How can you be thankful for me Jeremiah? Did you forget I broke up with you?!" He smirked down at me and crossed his arms over his broad chest. The same chest I had previously daydreamed of running my hands over.
"No not at Timber. I just don't have a problem of never seeing or talking to you, or that you're dating someone else. No big deal right. Normal thing to do in a relationship."
"Don't get sarcastic with me Jeremiah Ashley Matthews." His body tensed up preparing for at least a verbal fight. Actually there is no at least. We will never exchange blows.
"But you can get that way with me."
"I was not being sarcastic."
"Oh no that's right. You were just cruel. Crush my heart into a million pieces, and I'm supposed to be honkie doorie?"
"I can't do this," I said waving my hands in annoyance. Like I said I cab't do this. He's not supposed to be here! This isn't how it's supposed to go. Right now I'm supposed to be relaxing. I was supposed to enjoy being away from school and being back into a comfortable familiar environment. This is crap!
"But you will." I went to turn and walk away from him, but he grabbed onto my wrist stopping me. He held it too tight. I tried to rip it from his hold, but he held it on with a vice grip.
"Don't," I warned. He didn't listen though and somehow made it even tighter.
"Or what Timber? What are you gonna do? Slap me, crush me, kill me? You've done it all already."
"Fu-," I got cut off from his mouth suddenly getting in the way. The familiar feelings shot through me, and I allowed myself to get lost in it. For a second. For a second I allowed his pink lips to hold mine and taste him once again. For a second. After that I pulled away and slapped him across the face once again. It made his grip fail, and he to stumble a few steps back.
"Don't you ever ever do that to me again! I swear to god Jeremiah!"
And with that I turned away to ran the rest of the way up my stairs to my room. I shouldn't have come home. Something was going to happen. I knew it but still I came. If I had stayed with Houston it wouldn't have had that family atmosphere, but the loss of it would have been better than what happened between Jeremiah and me. Anything would have been better than that confrontation.
***So? So? So what did you think? Is it okay? Read and review please and tell me what you think about it. Don't worry you'll know about everything that you anted to in the last one. Characters will come back so don't think they won't be in the story any longer. I don't know when the next time is I'll get another chapter out but I do have the next two days off. Of course I do have to have a good number of reviews to post it though. Thanks Ember!***