and her cigarette breaks
are stolen kisses
with the devil she used to love
she can still feel his lips on hers
and taste the acrid cigar smoke in her mouth
no one ever notices, anymore,
the far off look in her eyes
when the smoke mingles with her breath
in the cool morning air
but it's captured in the pictures
of the beautiful girl everyone wishes they could be
or could have
it's in the lines on her face,
the corners of her eyes,
the pain in her smile,
like it kills her to grin in the sexy way she does
she's just a child
in the body of some gorgeous female
she's a homemaker
a mother
a god
but no one notices
until the heavy oak door closes
because then the love and the light
and all things good
are suddenly gone
and the house is empty
except for the sound of teardrops falling,
it's as silent as tomb
but their lives go on
and the tears stop dead in their tracks
and she wonders
if maybe, just maybe
if she packed all she could
in her little red car
and left, this time, for good
run back to the devil she loved
the one who'd hold her and wouldn't do her wrong
just run away from all the struggles they're givin' her
it would be so easy
but doubt keeps her frozen wondering
if they'd notice then
what they never did before
all the things she'd do
dance in circles and jump through hoops
of flames just for applause
bent out of proportion just to go that extra mile
all for them
and she'd juggle all the important things in life
like sharp knives and chainsaws and lit candles
at the same time she could balance their lives on spinning plates
never dropping one
and she thinks of all the things she's done
and that she's gonna do
and she knows then that she could never just up and leave
because even if they didn't notice
she would
and that would be too much to bear