In this chapter of "Never Hit a Mayonnaise Jar with a Baseball Bat,"
I thought we could expand our minds with a little bit of poetry.


A Tale of Love and Loss

by Anonymous (which is a clever new way of spelling Simon Psyc)


Who wears short shorts?

I wear short shorts.

Wait no I don't.

You wear short shorts?

You sick little monkey.



Then the audience comprized mostly of monocles- some of them without people
behind them all and begins applauding in that annoying pretentious way.

"Oh what a great profound peice."

"That was so good I crapped in my knickers."

And everyone moves away from that guy.