***My Bloody Valentine***
***Author's Note*** Just so you know, this is the first slashy thing that I actually managed to think of in my head, write on paper, type in its entirety AND post somewhere online. So be nice, and forgive all the stupid things you'd complain about. People always complain. Anyway, this was inspired by the Good Charlotte song "My Bloody Valentine" and uses some stuff from the lyrics. I guess I don't claim that, but the plot is mine, more or less. Don't steal it. And don't steal any of the loveable (*laugh*) characters, for that matter. If you've heard the song, it has been toned down a bit, and obviously changed in one major way. You see, Justin isn't a girl. (*laughs harder*)
***Summary*** If you've heard the song, you can probably guess at the summary. Matt is the guy who was singing, and the 'girl' (now guy) he was singing about is Justin. Justin's (*supposed*) boyfriend is Sean. With a little twist… But we don't want to spoil the story for you, so as long as you like slash, I do hope you enjoy. This is dedicated to the first three people to have read it, Lique (fanfiction author Angelic Hooligan ~_^), Karasu, and Aftertaste of a Razorblade (also a fanfic author, HILO PEOPLE^^ Hope you see this). Anyway, that about sums it up.
***WARNING*** Here we go, the official "warning" Yes, this is slash. If you don't know what that means, some synonyms are yaoi (only not quite .), shonen-ai (more like… o.O) or, most simply, two guys in a romantic situation. TWO GUYS!!! You got the point? Good. If you don't like it, don't read it. Or flame it. I honestly don't care which. Just don't stay on my case for too long, it gets boring. ~_^ And now the story!
It was fourth period, and the middle of my history class. In just half an hour, we would be free to go to lunch. Until then, other thoughts entertained my mind. And not one of them was related to the current history lecture.
Our teacher's lectures were always boring. Especially when they were accompanied by 'helpful' slideshows. Personally, the slideshows themselves would be enough to put the most hard-core student to sleep. No, that was actually a lie. For if I looked up just a few seats closer to the front of the class, I knew I would see Justin, fully awake and plugging away at his notes. It never ceased to amaze me how someone could appear so fascinated by something as mundane as a history lecture. Technically, Justin was a bit of a nerd. He was a teachers pet, and people talked about him behind his back. I was sure he knew; you couldn't not know when people were spreading rumors about your affair with that new, young algebra two teacher. That new, young, MALE algebra two teacher. They called him a faggot, said he was a queer, but wasn't that the point? I, for one, knew that to be true.
Trying not to sigh, I forced myself to examine him objectively for what had to be the hundredth time. A bit on the skinny side, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Being an athlete myself, I could see that he wasn't scrawny; he appeared to be in good physical shape, only with a different body type than most guys. With his back to me, there wasn't much else to see. Excluding his backside, but he appeared to be sitting on that. And that wasn't being objective.
He was wearing simple, baggy blue jeans and a gray T-shirt. I, of course, couldn't see it's front, but I would bet money that it bore the logo of a gaming company of the name of one of their games. His T-shirts tended to stick with that trend. Then there was his shock of sandy blonde-brown hair. Rather nondescript, but I had been tending towards blondes recently…
"Matt? Penny for your thoughts?" I heard whispered fiercely in my direction.
Tearing my eyes away from the eye candy dangled so delectably before me, I turned to face the origin of the harsh whisper. The person talking to me was, of course, Danny. Danny's full name was Danielle, but using her full name was enough to earn her permanent distrust. Slipping up twice was enough to warrant the slitting on one's throat, as performed by the aforementioned Danny.
"Huh?" I grunted back intelligently. Best friend or no, my thoughts were none of Danny's business.
Danny grinned at me, pleased with my stunning display of intellect. Someone who didn't know Danny personally would be able to appreciate that smile. Honestly, Danny was the perfect vision of womanhood. She had shoulder-length, wavy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, full rosy lips and a creamy complexion, all accompanied by extravagantly womanly curves. The cheerleaders had been thoroughly disappointed when they actually met her; it had turned out that you couldn't join if your IQ was above room temperature.
"So, what did you want me for?" I asked finally.
Danny rolled her eyes up at me, a gesture of exasperation. "I was merely presenting you with an opportunity to make some quick cash," she explained. "I know what you're thinking, loverboy."
I gasped mockingly. "Danny, dearest! You know that you'll always be the only one for me! How could you even suggest anything else?"
Danny laughed quietly, so as to avoid detection, and I joined her. To be honest, Danny probably did know what was going on. She always seemed to know more than she let on. And how could she not know? We had been the best of friends for half of forever, and she could practically read my thoughts. Which was how she knew that I would want to keep this little morsel of gossip just between us.
I played soccer. I had a reputation. I wasn't exactly ashamed of my sexuality, I just didn't want to have to deal with other people's reactions just yet. I had never seen any reason to come out of the closet before this. Following up on that train of thought, one might wonder how the smarter people had been kept in the dark for this long. That, too, was pretty much completely thanks to Danny. With her womanly curves to protect her, she had played the role of my girlfriend for almost two years. Somehow, it never ceased to amuse her that people bought it.
"Matt?" I heard. It was Danny. She was giving me the heads-up to class ending. I followed the example of most of my fellow student, and began packing up my things. When the bell rang signaling the end of fourth period, I was ready to leave, and yet I didn't move from my desk right away.
In front of me, Justin was still packing up. Watching Justin, I saw Sean's approach before Justin himself did. I knew Sean; he was an athlete like me, with a position on the varsity football team. That didn't automatically mean that I liked him. Even for a jock, Sean was exceptionally dense. In addition to that, I had managed to glean a bit of information from Danny about his social and sexual standings. An elite few of her friends seemed to believe that he, too, was gay. Not just that, but there was a rumor among them that he and Justin were an item. With my sexuality as a father guide, those facts alone were enough to make my blood boil.
I eavesdropped shamelessly on their conversation, but I didn't manage to learn much. From what I could tell, it was a perfectly innocent discussion about the Valentine's Day dance being held this very evening. Sean wanted to know if Justin wanted to hang out with him and his buddies at the dance, but that wasn't too suspicious. I could choose to interpret this interlude as an affair between them, but there wasn't too much proof to be had. I would probably be better off if I just let it go.
I turned to leave, walking out the door of the history classroom before either Sean or Justin could pass through it, just then realizing that Danny was still standing outside. She had waited for me the entire time, despite my delay.
That evening, Danny and I were at the Valentine's Day dance, 'together.' We had agreed ages ago that our ruse would only function fully if people saw us together. However, that didn't mean that we had to pretend at being 'madly in love.' We attended most social events as a couple, but joked around like the best friends we were, and no one ever noticed the difference. Tonight had just been one of those nights, and we had even managed to get a dance in.
The conclusion of which brought us to a table right beside where Sean and his cronies were laughing heartily together. Probably Drunk, I thought in disgust. They always were, after all. Further examination of the group at the table did, however, bear fruit. I dropped into a chair at a neighboring table, the better to watch Justin as he spoke with Sean's friends. It never even occurred to me that Danny was still with me; when I sat, she, too, dropped unobtrusively into a chair at the neighboring table.
Relaxing, I concentrated on their conversation, while also trying not to appear like I was eavesdropping. I couldn't help smirking once I caught the drift of the conversation. Sean's friends really were egotistical morons; all they could talk about was football! And themselves, of course. I considered catching Danny's attention and suggesting that we return to the dance floor, but I couldn't give up such a strategic position so easily.
A wise choice, too, for within half an hour I was rewarded for my pains. Sean's friends had been slowly departing from the table in ones and twos for the past half hour; now only Justin, Sean, and another guy I didn't know remained. Sean gestured at his friend, then turned to speak with Justin. I had to strain to hear them, but it sounded as if Sean was asking Justin to come back to his place. It took all of my willpower to refrain from standing up right then, and 'talking' some sense into Sean. But then Justin was speaking, and I had to calm down in order to hear him.
To my surprise, Justin appeared to be declining Sean's offer. I was about to cheer silently, when I saw that Justin was still speaking. Listening avidly, what I heard next shocked me so much that I gasped, sliding my chair back several feet so that it scraped across the floor. No one seemed to notice. It seemed that Justin was reversing the invitation; suggesting that Sean accompany him to Justin's house. And Sean was agreeing!
I turned to my right, just then noticing that Danny was still with me. I couldn't just jet off after Justin and leave Danny to find her own ride…
"Go on, loverboy," Danny prompted. "I told you already that I know what you're thinking, and maybe I don't want to leave the party just yet?"
I laughed, relieved, grabbing my coat and running for the door. I could still catch Sean and Justin if I got to my car fast enough. Opening the door to my car and getting in, I saw Sean pulling out of the parking lot. Disregarding anyone else who might have been trying to leave, I pulled out of my parking space and sped after the retreating vehicle. It never once occurred to me that I had no idea what I would do when I caught them.
Finally, Sean slowed down as we entered a residential area. I slowed too, following Sean down roads growing narrower and narrower, until Sean drove into a caul-de-sac off one of the little neighborhood streets. Sean pulled into the driveway of one of the houses, but I kept driving until I was facing out again, yet still within view of the house which could be none other than Justin's. Neither Justin nor Sean seemed to notice me. I turned off the ignition and prepared to wait.
It seemed like forever, but I sat put and watched the lights turning off and on at Justin's house. Finally, Sean walked back out the door, alone. I blinked, but waited as he got into his car and slowly drove away. Once he was a good distance past me, I turned the key in the ignition of my own car, and drove after him. We drove out of the residential area and past the river beside the main road, and the whole time I thought not once of what I would do when I was forced to stop.
Once again, I was sitting in my dark car outside of a strange house. Mere minutes before, Sean had slipped quietly through the front door and into the seemingly empty house. Now I could see a light coming on in one of the upstairs windows, and a figure moving around in front of it. Instinctively, I reached for the glove compartment in my car, but I took my hand back before opening it. In the window upstairs, the figure moved away, and the light dimmed. Sean wasn't going to sleep just yet.
I reached for the glove compartment again, and this time I opened it. Still in a sort of daze, I reached inside and pulled out the pistol I had stored there in case I ever needed to defend myself. Stroking the cold metal, I removed my keys from the ignition and got out of the car.
Standing on the sidewalk outside Sean's house, I debated just going up to the front door and yanking on the handle. The house did appear empty, after all. However, I turned my thoughts from that first idea, and walked around the back of the house instead. I first tried the back door, which proved to be locked tight. From there, I turned to even more unconventional methods.
After trying most of the ground-level windows, I finally found one that wasn't sealed. Propping it open, I evaluated the likelihood that I would get stuck halfway through. I finally decided that I would make it; it would be a tight squeeze for someone like me, and if I were Sean, I wouldn't have fit. I levered myself through feet first, a bit surprised that they didn't immediately meet with the floor. Shoving off and dropping down, I discovered why it had been so far to the ground. I was inside Sean's basement, and the window was set high up in the wall.
Looking around, I got my bearings and headed towards the door at the opposite side of the room. Sean's basement was relatively neat, with all of his family's accumulated junk packed away in large, brown cardboard boxes. Opening the door at the top of a short flight of stairs, I found myself confronted by the entranceway of Sean's house.
I stepped out of the basement doorway and swiftly looked around the entranceway. Finally, my eyes settled on another staircase leading upstairs. Quietly, I ascended the stairs to the upper level of Sean's house. Using what I had seen from the street, I counted doors and settled on one to my left. I was rewarded by a pale glow escaping the crack underneath the door. I knew I had chosen correctly.
Quietly turning the knob, I eased the bedroom door open. Thrusting the pistol up before me, I strode into the dimly lit room. Inside, I saw Sean by his desk in his boxers, obviously packing something up before turning off the light on his desk. He turned, and saw me standing inside his doorway. His eyes went from my face to my hands, and the color drained from his face as his eyes grew quite large. I smiled; despite the seriousness of the situation, his expression was funny.
As I stood, close enough to frozen in my offensive position, the meager amount of brains left inside of Sean's head proceeded to rapidly dissolve. Within seconds, he was on his knees before me, babbling incoherently. Occasionally, I caught bits of what he was saying, and it all ran along the lines of me sparing his youthful soul.
I wouldn't have thought it possible before, but at that moment I actually felt sorry for Sean. Despite my murderous thoughts, I couldn't bring myself to shoot Sean. It wasn't like it were his fault. I lowered the gun and shook my head despairingly. However, it was then that the idea came to me.
"Sean," I spat coldly. "Where were you coming from this night?"
With his frantic babbling occupying almost all of his attention, it took Sean a moment to realize that I was asking him a question.
"The Valentine's Day dance?" he suggested tentatively, as if afraid I would shoot him if he answered wrong. From his point of view, that sentiment was actually quite reasonable. I shook my head no, and waited for him to try again.
"After that," I prompted.
"Ah… Justin's house?" he supplied, his voice betraying his hopefulness that this answer would prove correct.
I nodded yes before continuing. "For your own safety," I said slowly and clearly. "You will tell no one about this little conversation. Nothing about it. And you will stay away from Justin. Don't go near him, you hear me?"
He nodded frantically.
"Good," I replied slowly, drawing out the word. "Now, come and let me out."
Sean practically ran for the door, beating my down the stairs by almost a minute. When I reached the bottom, he was already standing at the open door. Winking sadistically, I sauntered out the door and down the sidewalk, not looking back once. However, once I reached my car, I yanked the door open and threw myself into the driver's seat, panting heavily. I had to be crazy, no sane person went around stalking perfectly normal young men. I had to get away.
Starting up the car, I sped out of the driveway and down the road, my hands shaking. Hopefully Sean wouldn't say anything.
I pulled the car over once I was back on the main road because my hands were shaking so badly, the pistol still cradled in my lap. Taking it with me, I stepped out of the car and into the night, just then realizing that I had pulled over right by the river. Shaking all over, I pulled my arm back and chucked the pistol into the dark, rushing water of the river. There would be as little proof of my stupidity as possible.
My body coming back under my control, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing, but I scrolled through my address book in the phone's memory, stopping when I came to the number I wanted. I still remembered how I had gotten hold of this number, and laughed shakily. Some well-timed eavesdropping and careful classroom garbage-picking had yielded Justin's home phone number.
Before I could back down, I pressed the 'send' button on my cell phone and held it up to my ear.
The phone rang three times before someone picked up, and I said, "Justin? This is Matthew from school."
"Matt?" I heard from the other side; it was Justin.
"Yeah," I said, trying to keep my voice friendly and light. "Hey, man, do you think I could come by your place if you aren't going to sleep already? I wanna talk."
There was a pause, then Justin replied, "Sure, I guess, but don't you need directions?"
"Nah, man, I can find it," I told him. "Just remember to open up the door for me, 'kay?"
We hung up, and I turned off my cell phone and got back in the car. I sighed, breathing deeply, before starting up the car and driving towards where I now knew Justin's house to be.
This time, when I reached the caul-de-sac, I pulled straight into Justin's driveway. Getting out of the car and walking slowly up the sidewalk, I knocked sharply on Justin's door. A minute or so later, Justin opened it, with his hair slightly mused and dressed in charcoal-gray sweatpants. Only sweatpants. Damn sweatpants… But Justin was gesturing for me to step inside, take off my coat, and come upstairs. Meekly, I did as he said.
At the top of the stairs, Justin paused to open a door for me. Stepping inside, he beckoned for me to follow. Stepping into the doorway, I saw one of the neatest bedrooms ever in the possession of a male human being. If one disregarded the motley collection of dirty clothes, gaming magazines, instruction manuals and videogames strewn across the floor, the room could actually be called neat. For one, the bed was actually made. And the desk wasn't overflowing with books, papers and assorted junk. The closet doors actually shut.
Justin moved to sit on his bed, and I trailed into his room behind him. Gingerly, I, too, took a seat on the bed.
"So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Justin asked, once I was situated.
Wrenching myself free of my very unbecoming fantasies, I prepared to answer him. "First, do you swear you won't tell anyone? No one at all?"
Justin appeared surprised for a moment, but he covered it up well. "Of course I won't," he promised reassuringly.
Taking a deep breath, I launched into a detailed description of the evening's events, trying to tone down my stalker-like actions as I told the tale. But I had to explain what I had almost done to Sean. Omitting the actual conversation we had, of course. It might be rather embarrassing to me to give that description in its entirety…
Finally, when I was finished, Justin spoke again, although it wasn't to say what I had expected him to say. "Exactly why are you telling me this?" he asked calmly, curiously.
I blinked, a bit taken aback. "But Sean had come from your house… But… Sean… It was only logical that I talk to you. I thought you might be upset if something were to happen to Sean…"
"Well, of course," Justin said, when I didn't continue. "But wouldn't anyone be upset?"
I stopped again. "Of course, but-" At that point, I looked up from my hands, and looked Justin in the eyes. He seemed… startled, puzzled, curios, but not scared. He still was not afraid of me, despite what I had almost done. And… shouldn't there have been something else there? Something was missing.
I thought about it, and came to a sort of conclusion about what was missing. Justin, he understood what I had almost done. He wasn't quite sure why I had followed Sean, but he could cope. However, Justin didn't understand how this had anything to do with him. The rumors, everything Danny had said… none of it was completely unfounded. But it wasn't true, either. Sean was nothing more than a friend to Justin, no matter what Sean himself thought. Which meant… the other rumors…
"Matt?" Justin finally asked, after I had ceased speaking for over a minute.
Instinctively, I took two fingers and placed them under Justin's chin, tilting his face up so I could look into his eyes. Now, Justin was still puzzled, and maybe surprised. I'd like to think that he'd be curious about what I was getting at. But that was what was missing.
Understanding. Despite all of the things people at school said… Justin must have resented them for it, and then he would have learned to cope, but he didn't see the truth. Almost frantic now, but still incredibly calm, I thought about the possibility that I was wrong. Maybe poor Justin was straight after all.
Then I looked into his eyes once more, and decided against that. I had to trust my own intuition on this, and there was one way to find out for sure.
"Justin," I whispered softly, before tilting my head and leaning in to kiss him on the lips. From his initial unresponsiveness, I could tell that Justin was surprised, but then he responded. One of his hands came up to tangle itself in my hair, as the other rested lightly on my lower back. Meanwhile, I held Justin cradled against me as we kissed, gently easing him back onto the bed until he was lying down and I was leaning over him, before breaking off the kiss.
Looking down at him, I was pleased to see that Justin didn't look at all upset with me. His eyes were half-closed with pleasure, and a little smile played across his lips. Content to just stare at him for the time being, I kicked my shoes off, hearing them drop to the floor behind me. However, I didn't have time to do anything else.
Justin must have regained his energy or something, because he was sitting up and pushing me over, until I was on my back beside him, but he kept moving. Now Justin was leaning over me, one hand planted firmly on my chest, and his sweatpants mysteriously absent. With surprising control, he swiftly undid the fly of my jeans, sliding them down to my ankles. He then proceeded to lower himself on to me, as if he were collapsing, so that his lower body was pressed against mine before our lips touched once more.
Reading his movements with a minimum of difficulty, I suspected that Justin was teasing me. To anyone else, it would seem that Justin had the upper hand, and now he was starting to ease himself up again- I didn't think so. I snaked my one arm around his waist and used my weight to roll Justin onto his side, carrying me with him. I pressed his warm body closer to mine, still prolonging the kiss Justin had begun.
When we did break the kiss, Justin put out a hand and halted me. "Matt-" he breathed hoarsely. "Wait… take your… shirt off…"
I blinked, then quickly did as he said, tossing the offending article of clothing absentmindedly to the floor. Meanwhile, Justin had succeeded in locking the door to his bedroom, his hand hovering over the light switch and the corners of his mouth twitching playfully.
Seeing that I was watching him, Justin said, quietly, "My parents won't be home until Sunday night."
I gasped, still surprised at him, as he smiled fully before turning off the lights.
***Author's Note*** Well, that would be my story. Be nice, and submit a review, why don't you? All authors love them, don't we know it. Hope you liked it, and if you happen to review, and have heard the song, tell me if you see the resemblance. (*laugh*) Once again, my whiny little "this is my first official slash piece" that I must tack on at the end, to make you feel sympathetic, and write a nice review. Of course, you don't have to listen to me, it's just appreciated all the same. That's about it, tell me what you thought.
Copyright [little copyright symbol that doesn't work on my computer] Alira, January 6th, 2003; 1:50 PM (originally typed almost a month before .)