Chapter 19

"Hey look!" cried fictional

Jess, "Narrator Jess beat a record and took six months to update this time guys!! I wonder what we've been doing for the past six months."

Narrator Jess grumbles something about a musical, while Narrator Heather rants on about how she updated the profile before Jess updated the story, and Narrator Jenn is off somewhere with Zelos. No, wait, that's a different story that hasn't been updated in six months….hmm….there's a pattern here somewhere.

"Get on with it!" (that was Helda)


So, the last thing Helda said was: "Mr. Anonymous isn't smart enough to just make a new button, so he'll try to take the old one from you. You must destroy it if you want any hope of protecting the world. Hurry and cast it into the fires of Mount Doom!"

"Wait a second!" said Jess (the fictional one) "Where did this Mr Anonymous come from? Wasn't he the evil mastermind? Why are there two of them? What the is going on??????????"

"Personally" said Jenn "I believe that it is a distinct possibility that this evil mastermind has split personality disorder, and that is why there appears to be two of them"


"Oops, I mean 'I'm gonna kick butt like Buffy!!!'" Jenn corrected herself

"Of course you are, Jenn" said Heather soothingly, "Soooooooooo……where exactly is Mount Doom and what is it doing on Mars?"

"Well," said Helda, "That was just me exaggerating. We do have a Mount Doom, but its not exactly a mountain. Or any cause for Doom, for that matter."

"What is it then?"

Suddenly, before Helda could answer, the four of them were overrun by a horde of screaming preteen girls, desperate to get into The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants The Movie before all of the tickets sold out.

"Bah," said Jenn, "Why would anyone want to see that?"

"Umm…" said Jess. Her dragon screeched a little (forgotten about him hadn't you?) but then settled down to sleep. He was still a bit tired from biting that guy's head off awhile back.

Another horde of lackeys ran past the hiding place. One of them tripped over an unusually large dent in the floor, and fell through the wall hanging. Only quick thinking on Heather's part, and a veeeeeerry hungry Chewbacca, managed to avoid disaster. Except for the lackey. The whole thing was pretty disastrous for him.

"We'd better find a better hiding place" said Helda

Jenn looked at her suspiciously "And how do we know that you aren't going to just lead us back to the evil mastermind and his split personalities?"

"Yeah" said Jess, "How can we trust you?"

Heather just stared lovingly at the shiiiiiiiny red button.

"Look" said Helda, "I'm an undercover agent for the Alpine Elves. I was sent to scout out the details of the evil mastermind's plans, but when you guys didn't show up for ever I kind of gave up on you. I wasn't prepared when you just randomly showed up."

"Yeah we got into a few…obstacles on the way." Jess remembered the 80's style tour bus and shuddered.

"Well then, we've got no time to lose, let's go!"

So the three heroines and their new friend did a little bobbing and weaving, dispatched a couple of lackeys (dispatched! What a word!), and finally arrived at a large, very shiny bronze door, with an sign on it proclaiming, "THIS WAY TO MOUNT DOOM!"

"Clear enough, I guess," said Jess "Let's go!"

"Hold on Jess! Heather's caught in the shiny!" called Jenn

"We'll have to leave her behind," said Helda


There was a long, drawn-out cry as Jenn dived and knocked Heather out of the glare of the big shiny doors in extreme slow motion. They both tumbled to the ground, and lay there for a moment.

"Um Jenn?" mumbled Heather, "You're kind of cutting off my air supply"

"Oh right"

Finally Jenn and Heather managed to return to their feet and follow Jess and Helda through the big shiny doors. They were in a big room. It was completely empty. Just then –

A/N: HAHAHAHAHA the evil curse of non-updating has been lifted!! What is it about exam time and me updating? I am puzzled…..we've solved the evil mastermind/mr anonymous issue though and that is gooood….whose turn is it now??