Chapter One

I was finally eighteen.  It had seemed like it had taken forever to reach this point in my life, so I definitely wasn't going to waste another second.  I threw back the covers on my bed and headed to the bathroom to get my shower.

          As soon as I was dressed in my favorite t-shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots, I headed downstairs to start preparing breakfast.  I was surprised to see my brother, Cole, was already awake and had started a pot of coffee.

          "Hey, kiddo.  Happy Birthday," Cole said as he stood up and gave me a hug and a kiss.

          "Don't you know better than to call me that, Cole?  I'm a woman now."

          "Just don't be in too much of a hurry to be a woman," he advised.  "Do you hear me, young lady?"

          "Yes, Cole," I said sarcastically while gathering all of the ingredients for our breakfast out of the refrigerator.

          As I set the carton of eggs on the counter, Cole looked at me and said, "Seriously, Beth.  Mom and Dad would be proud of the woman you've become."

          "That's only because you raised me," I said, returning his compliment.

          Our parents had died five years ago in a car accident.  I had been thirteen at the time and Cole had been twenty.  A drunk driver had cost us our parents one stormy night.  The night of the accident I should have been with them, but a case of the flu had kept me home in bed.  I had always considered myself extremely lucky because of that.  Cole had been a great 'surrogate' father to me, even though he would never admit it.  He would tell everyone that he had done something wrong because I had always acted like a tomboy.  I ran around our ranch like I was one of the hands.  I spit like the guys, I rode like the guys, and I talked like the guys.

          Just as I set a tray of scrambled eggs on the table, the kitchen door opened.  Turk, the ranch's foreman and Cole's best friend, came inside with a huge grin on his face.  He had been teasing for weeks about legally becoming a woman.  When I had been depressed about never finding a man, he assured me that would break many hearts in my life.

          "Morning, Turk," I said to him.

          "Good morning, birthday girl.  You're looking very grown up today," he joked.

          I smirked at him as he sat down at the table right across from where I would be sitting.  He removed his cowboy hat and hung it on the back of the chair that was unoccupied.  As I smiled at him across the table, he absently ran his hand through his short blond hair as he winked at me.  I felt myself blush and quickly looked towards Cole to see if he had noticed.  Luckily, he and Turk had just started discussing our cattle and estimating how much they would bring at the next auction.  After that, I was unable to eat much of my breakfast, as my stomach was doing flip-flops from the way Turk was glancing at me.

          I couldn't help thinking about Turk.  He had joined us at the ranch almost a year ago.  No one had ever told me the whole story of how he and my brother had become friends, but I knew that Turk had somehow saved Cole's life.  Turk had felt indebted to him, so he offered to come work at our ranch.  He lived in our summer kitchen, right next to our main home.

          A few months after Turk started working for us, I found myself looking at him less and less like my brother's best friend and more and more like a regular man.  I had fallen in love with Turk.  He was my ideal man, even if he was eight years my senior.  I think in a remote area of his brain, he suspected I had feelings for him, but out of respect for Cole, he had never even come close to crossing the line with me.

          "Beth?  Earth to Beth?"

          I stopped daydreaming and looked at my brother.  "I'm sorry, Cole.  What did you say?"

          "Get your head out of the clouds.  I asked you if you wanted your birthday present now or later."

          "It doesn't matter.  Whenever is more convenient for you, Cole."

          Turk said teasingly, "She must really be growing up, Cole.  Normally kids jump and down until they get their presents."

          "I'm not a kid," I responded hotly.

          Quick to jump to Turk's defense, Cole said, "He was just teasing, Beth."

          I calmed down as Cole reached under the table and produced a jewelry box.  I slowly lifted the lid and the tears welled up in my eyes almost immediately.  Covered with tissue paper was the most beautiful pair of emerald stud earrings.

          "I love them, Cole.  They are so beautiful."

          Cole reached over and tucked a lock of my curly blond hair behind my ear.  He explained, "I bought them for you because they match your eyes.  They are not quite as beautiful as your eyes, though.  Happy birthday, Beth."  I hugged him, trying to show him how much I loved him.

          "Hey, guys.  There have been too many tears already today and it's only breakfast," Turk joked.  "Are you ready for your present from me, Beth?"

          "You didn't have to get me anything, Turk," I said, still wiping the tears from my eyes.

          "Yes, I did.  When I saw it, I just couldn't pass it up."  Turk got up from the table and walked out the door.  A few minutes later, he came back inside holding the most adorable tan Cocker Spaniel puppy, with a bright red bow tied around his neck.

          I raced over to take him out of Turk's arms, squealing with delight.  "He's so cute.  Thank you, Turk."

          "You're welcome.  Now what will you name him?"

          I thought a few moments and then said, "Caramel.  He's the color of caramel."  Turk and Cole laughed at my choice of a name.  I pretended my feelings were hurt.  "Thank you for both making this such a wonderful day."

Chapter Two

          Later that afternoon, I stood at the kitchen window staring out at the corrals.  Turk was running around in the corral with a horse that had yet to be broke.  Turk was the best man on our ranch to deal with the new horses.  He had such patience; so much that the horses even seemed to sense it.

          As I watched, it almost seemed like Turk was getting a little frustrated.  I knew he had been working with this particular horse for two weeks now and he hadn't even been able to make a dent in his training yet.  I decided to give him a break with a nice, cold glass of lemonade.  I poured a glass for each of us and headed out the back door.

          I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing this, but I couldn't help it.  Cole would have preferred that I considered Turk an employee or even a surrogate brother, but it was hard for me to not see him as a man.  I also knew that my brother had forbidden Turk to look at me as he would look at any other woman.  I knew I had feelings for Turk, and I knew it was love.  I also knew I had to tell him, at least before Cole figured it all out.  I knew Cole would be angry, but if push came to shove, I knew he would accept it.

          As I approached the corral, Turk saw me coming and walked over towards the fence.  He hopped up on the top railing and waited for my approach.  He took both glasses of lemonade out of my hands and waited while I crawled up and straddled the fence.

          He took a huge gulp out of his glass, and then finally handed my glass back to me.  He said, "You'd better make sure none of the other boys saw you bring me this.  They might get jealous of you treating me with favoritism."

          "Well, let them get jealous.  Only you get my special lemonade," I said, surprised to hear how seductive my voice sounded.

          Turk, the cowboy of all cowboys, actually blushed before he said solemnly, "And Cole."  I had a confused look on my face as Turk elaborated.  "Cole gets your special lemonade too."  I knew what he was getting at with that statement.  He knew I was trying to tell him something deep, but he was trying to stop me before it went any further, out of respect for my brother.  "How is Caramel?" he asked, jarring me from my thoughts.

          "He's a great puppy.  No accidents yet today.  He's been playing with a ball all morning and chewing it apart.  He's so sweet and cute…just like the person who gave him to me," I said brazenly.

          Turk stared in to my eyes for a moment and then jumped down from the fence still holding his glass.  "I have to get back to work.  Thanks for the lemonade, Beth."  He turned away from me, still chewing on his ice cube.

          "Turk, wait!" I called as I jumped down from the fence into the corral with him.  As he slowly turned around to face me, I almost lost my nerve.  "Can we just talk a minute?  Please?"

          He seemed to take a deep breath before he spoke.  "I don't want to go there, Beth.  You're Cole's little sister."

          "Fuck, Cole," I said, reverting to my cowboy language.  "Why do you always associate me with Cole?  You can't take me anywhere without Cole's permission; you can't be nice to me without Cole's approval.  Cole is not your boss!"

          Turk took a menacing step towards me.  "He's your boss, little lady," he hissed.  "He's also my best friend."

          "Why should that have to change?  God damn it, Turk, I love you!"

          "You don't know what you're saying, Beth," he told me as he nervously twirled his ice cubes around in his glass.

          "I know exactly what I'm saying, Turk.  God damn it, why doesn't anyone listen to me?  I'm not a child anymore."

          Turks' glass came whizzing by my head as he threw it.  He stalked over to me, grabbing my arm to spin me around to face him.  "Don't you think I know that?  For the last year, I've watched you grow up right in front of my eyes.  I've watched you blossom in to a beautiful woman.  Some nights I can hardly stand talking to you…you look so goddamn beautiful."

          "Turk…" I tried to interrupt.

          "No, Beth.  Don't interrupt me.  You said you wanted to talk, so now we're going to talk.  God damn it, Beth.  I have tried to stay away from you.  I've tried to keep my distance from you for Cole's sake.  Christ, he's my best friend.  I can't just turn my back on our friendship to be with you.  I'm not going to ruin your life or mine by being with you!"

          I tried to choke back my tears at his harsh words.  "So you think that being with me would ruin your life?"  I turned around, heading for the gate and slowly walked away, my heart shattering in a million pieces.

          I heard Turk's boots crunching on the ground right before I felt his arm on my elbow, whipping me around.  "Wait, Beth," he said gently, as his arm came curving around my waist pressing me up against his body.  "Do you feel that?  Can you feel how much I want you?"

          I stared in to his cerulean blue eyes, questioning his quick change of heart.  I could feel it, just from the feeling of his fly against my stomach.  "Turk, I…"

          As his thumb gently caressed my cheek, Turk said compassionately, "I'm sorry I said all those hateful things to you.  I didn't mean them.  God Beth, you make me so…so…I've wanted you from the first day I met you."

          My fingers wound up in his hair as he brought his lips down on mine.  The kiss was as gentle as the warm summer breeze that was blowing over us.  I felt his tongue separate my lips as it began to take control of my own mouth.  Just as I was starting to relax and let myself go, Turk gently pushed me away and rested his chin on the top of my head.

          "We can't do this, Beth.  We can't."

          "Why not, Turk?  I love you."

          It almost seemed as if Turk was going to kiss me again after my confession, but he pushed me away from him.  I heard someone coming up the driveway, which Turk must have heard too.  I looked over my shoulder and saw my brother's Ford Bronco coming up the driveway.

          "Go back to the house, Beth," Turk told me gruffly.

          I looked at Turk, totally bewildered.  "Are you going to tell him?"

          "Do as I say, Beth!  Get in the house!"

          I slowly walked away from Turk, remembering to pick up the one glass that was still left from our earlier argument.  As I walked back towards the house, Cole parked his truck.  I heard him call over to Turk for help unloading, but I didn't hang around to find out what Cole had bought in town.

          Caramel greeted me at the door when I went in the house.  I set my glass down on the table and picked my puppy up into my arms.  I carried him to my bedroom with me and we lied down on the bed together.

          The tears started rolling down my face as I petted Caramel.  "Why can't he just love me?  Why should it matter to Cole?  You'd think Cole would be happy if his sister was with his best friend…"

Chapter Three

          I woke up from my unexpected nap to find Caramel scratching at my bedroom door to be let outside.  I quickly got up and opened the door, following him all the way to the kitchen door.  Once we were out in the backyard, I decided to relax in the hammock while Caramel ran around examining things.

          "Are you all right, Beth?" I head Cole ask from behind me.

          I jumped at the sound of my brother's voice.  I wondered if Cole could see what happened with Turk and I just by looking at my face.  "No…no there's nothing wrong.  Why do you ask?"

          "When I got back from town, you just ignored me and walked in to the house.  You didn't even stop at the truck to see what I had bought.  I saw you come from the corrals.  Did you and Turk get in to an argument?"

          "Heavens, no," I said sarcastically.  "Turk is and has always been a perfect gentleman to me."  I reached in to the breast pocket of my shirt and produced a pack of cigarettes and a book of matches.

          As I lit one, Cole said, "I thought you quit those damn things."

          I looked Cole in his dark brown eyes and said, "I tried, big brother.  I really did, but with all you guys smoking around here it was really hard."

          "I'll stop smoking," he offered.  "I won't let the guys smoke around you, either."

          "That wouldn't be fair to you or them.  Besides, you have to die of something, don't you?"

          "What has gotten in to you?  What has you in this weird mood?  You seem depressed."

          "I'm getting old, Cole."

          "You just turned eighteen, Beth.  You have years of your life ahead of you yet."  I couldn't respond to my well-meaning older brother.  All I wanted was for Turk to love me.  That is what I wanted my life to hold for me.  I didn't need anything else, except Turk's love.  "What do you say we go to a movie tonight?" Cole offered.  "Maybe that will cheer you up."

          "No, Cole.  You really don't have to do that.  Why don't you go into town and have some fun without your little sister?  You haven't been out in a while."

          "I never get a chance to go out anymore.  There's always something here that needs to be looked after; always one problem or another."

          Just as he said those ill-fated words, I saw Turk come rushing towards us from the barn.  He ran up to us, sweaty and out of breath.  "Cole, there's a hole in the west pasture fence line.  Randy just did his check and told me some of the cows had gotten out.  Do you think you can round them up so I can patch the fence quick?"

          "Sure, let's go."  Before running off, Cole turned to me, "What did I just say Beth?  It's always something."

          As the boys ran off, I decided that they could use some help.  They were headed out of the barn on their horses as I was rushing inside to saddle up my mare, Buttercup.  After only a few minutes, I was headed out of the barn trying to catch up to the guys.

          I finally caught up with them at the site of the hole in the fence.  Cole and Randy, another one of the ranch hands, were trying to herd up the tens cows that had gotten out.  They were trying to send them back through the hole from which they came.  I circled around the left side to try and squeeze the cows in to a circle.  We managed to push most of the through the hole, but there was still one stubborn one.  I rode up on his back legs and tried to physically push him towards the opening.

          As I was inches from pushing him through the hole, I looked down at Turk who was standing there holding a new piece of fence.  "Good job, Beth," he said with his smile.

          I wasn't paying attention, so when Buttercup lost her footing; I was immediately went toppling to the ground.  I felt myself come down on the old piece of fence, cutting my arm as I fell.  My first priority was to look for Buttercup and make sure that she was okay.  She was standing amongst the cows, seemingly unhurt. 

          I looked around and saw Cole jump off of his horse and come racing towards me.  Turk was only a mere five feet away from me, dropping the section of fence he had been holding.  He fell to his knees next to me, pulling my head onto his lap.

          I felt my arm, knowing that I was hurt in some sort of way, never expecting my hand to come back to my face covered in blood.  When I saw my crimson colored hand, I looked imploringly at Turk, trying not to cry in front of him.  I didn't want him to see how much it hurt and how much of a baby I was.

          "Damn it," I heard him mutter, "You're losing blood fast."  He ripped his tee shirt off over his head and quickly wrapped it around my arm, making it into a tourniquet.

          Cole bent down over me, brushing his hand through my hair.  "I'm going to get the truck, Beth."  As he ran towards the house, I heard him yell back to Turk, "Keep her awake!  Don't let her pass out!"

          Turk looked down at my face, and then pulled his head up to find Randy.  "Randy, try and patch up this fence quickly.  Do the best job you can right now; if I have to, I'll redo it later.  When you're done, get these horses back to the barn."

          "Sure thing, boss," Randy said as he rode over to us.  "Beth, you'll be okay."

          I tried to smile at Randy as I said, "Thank you."  It made me feel good that the ranch hands cared enough about me to be concerned for my welfare.  I looked up in to Turk's eyes and was surprised by the anguish I saw in them.  "Turk, I…"

          "Don't talk, baby.  You need all your strength.  I won't let anything happen to you.  Not now; not when we were-"

          Cole pulled up in the Bronco, stones flying everywhere, cutting Turk short.