Disclaimer: Alex and Jay are characters from my imagination! If they resemble anyone in real life or anything else like that, it is purely coincidental! Also, this story contains yaoi! Yes, shounen ai, m/m...whatever you feel like calling it! It's a guy who likes another guy! If this stuff bothers you, then don't read it! You've been warned! So, without further delay, my first attempt at a story! Enjoy! ^ ^

I don't know why I've been feeling this way lately. All I can think about is...him. Why him? Why my best friend? Ha, classic soap opera! The story of my life...

I can't understand it. Ever since we began eighth grade...I've liked him. But why? Why do I have to like him? Why can't I be normal like everyone else...?

Why...why do I have to be...gay?

I wish I could be straight...like everyone else...but, I don't think there's any way that'll be happening, now, is there? If only there was some way...

The only other thing that would make me happy would be if he liked me too.

If only...if only...he'd care about me like I care about him...

But, he doesn't. Why would he? He's, like, the straightest guy I know.

"Hey, Alex, are you okay?"


"Oh...I...I guess...I'm okay..."

It's him...

"You look sort of down. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Yeah, how about liking me? Tch, yeah right. Wishful thinking.

"...no...I don't think so..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes...Jay...I'm sure..."

No, you're not sure. Stupid, stupid, stupid...you're a just a stupid fag. If you told him, he'd hate you!

"You don't sound sure."

"...I guess...I'm not sure..."

"Come on, Alex, let me help you."

"...no, I can't, Jay..."

"Why not?"

Oh, maybe because you'd hate me and I'd be crushed and have to kill myself!

"It's just...I like someone, and they don't like me, I'm sure of it..."

"Oh, girl problems? Maybe I can try to hook you up!"

"No, Jay, please..."

"Is it...Carol?"






"Oh, I know, it's Kerri! You seem to like her a lot!"

"No, it's not her."

"Will you give me a clue then?"

"I...I can't..."

I get up and begin walking away, trying not to let the tears escape my eyes.

"Come on, Alex, tell me!"

I turn around to look at him and I start crying, unable to hold the tears back.

"...Alex...? Are you okay?"

"...It isn't a girl!!"

I turn around and run away as fast as I can, not looking back at him.

Oh great, now look what you did!! You stupid, stupid fag!! Now he knows, and he's gonna hate you!!

I hid behind the trees, hoping that I could just curl up and die.

I can't believe I did that...what if he hates me? He's my only friend...

I heard rustling behind the trees.

Oh no...Jay...what's he going to do? Is he going to beat me up?

As expected, I saw Jay behind the trees.


A/N: Heh. I left it at a cliffhanger...bad Rue. Well, how I write the next chapter (or, if I even write the next chapter at all) will depend on my reviews...this is my first story (that I've had the courage to post, that is ^ ^) so please try to be kind!