By Chelsea a.k.a. Wishkres
Rated: PG-13
Author's Note: This is really the darkest things I've ever written. I think an explanation would help because this could be taken different ways. It's about a woman being abused by her husband. She turns to religion to help her, but she ends up mixing up the words of her husband and God and ends up as quite a mess. I was shooting for making most of the song to be taken either way; I really hope that it worked out. This was so hard to write...
I plan on revising it again later, I just needed to get some opinions before it's officially finished. I really like how the first verse turned out and the chorus seems kind of okay, but the second verse seems... uncomfortable to me. Don't like the title either, but I'll deal. The ending's also messed up but it will work for now since I'm the only one who knows what it sounds like to music. *evil laugh* I'm not too concerned about it; when the rest is revised it'll come together if I'm lucky. I'm desperate for reviews, and nitpicks are VERY welcome. Thank you!
One more thing -- this isn't meant to be an anti-religion song, more of a lost-and-trying-to-believe-but-not-really-working song. I personally am a Christian (or working on it; I'm getting it sorted out) so please no bashing of that sort, okay? I have plans on writing a true Christian song, not a fumble-in-belief sort of thing, it just hasn't come yet. I don't mean to offend anyone; I hope you understand. Thanks again!
Verse 1:
She heard about it every week.
Forgiveness for those that still seek.
The blood, the body, love...
All that she's unworthy of.
She heard about it all the time.
She was nada; he was sublime.
Act in the truth, and you shall live --
She heard the words, he should forgive...?
Chorus:
So she loves you.
But is it love or is it fear?
Is it a lie you want to hear?
She wants redemption
Make amends.
She lives in truth
Or just pretends?
She lives in pain.
She lives in dread.
She asks for mercy gets instead --
She says; is it a lie?
Rely, deny...
Verse 2:
Gotta get away, but she's so scared.
Flee from love? Too unprepared.
Eternal anguish - this was Hell...
Unceasing sinner dare rebel?
"I am your tool, and I will serve."
She failed so this's what she deserves.
So this was Life, Mercy, and Love?
Another cry; don't see the dove...
Chorus:
So she loves you.
But is it love or is it fear?
Is it a lie you want to hear?
She wants redemption
Make amends.
She lives in truth
Or just pretends?
She lives in pain.
She lives in dread.
She asks for mercy gets instead --
She says; is it a lie?
Rely, deny...
Ending:
She heard about it every week.
Forgiveness for those that still seek...
Rely, deny.
Reviews make me happy although I'm still writing depressing stuff. How freaky is that?