i can't stand
this silence
that deafens me
surrounds me
and suffocates me
it fills my soul
with emptiness
with blackness
beyond blackness
my heart is constricted
by violent despair
so chilling
it burns
and i can't express
my pain
without pain
i can't cry to the heavens
without the angels hearing
i'm still but
not
stable
not stable
but
stagnant
rotting slowly
with time
breathing shallow
breaths
filled with
unwillingness
but no one can know
i must let no one
see
they might step in
they might drown with me
in me
for me
this silence must
not be broken
like me