My Fatal Disease

By Tara Nicole Walker

12.28.02

What is lonely?

It's an empty ness…

Isn't it?

It is when you feel detached from yourself

Drifting away from even those who would never leave you

Separated from all

Your very own heart and soul having left you

Your mind remaining

So as to experience the complete agony

One time is all it takes to know what is wrong

But why it's wrong

We shall never be told

Nor shall we find out ourselves

Lingering through time and space in a futile search

Completely alone

Those holding our hearts seem to drift away slowly

As we enter into an unwilling state of solitude

Wrenched from all we know

To drift aimlessly in the open space of our own lonely world

Hollow and empty

No gravity – no atmosphere – no breath to cry out

A black hole sucks our hopes – our dreams – our tears

Our very lives our very existence

The root word for "lonely" is now "long"…

Longing is what loneliness is wrapped around…

What it consists of – what it breathes as a living thing

Loneliness is the parasite and we are the host

Loneliness – my fatal disease