Bonds Broken
By Tara Nicole walker
12.30.02
Dedicated to Charles E. Lauderdale
You – the one person I thought that
I would never lose
Positive I would never lose
We were so close
Knew the others' thoughts
Felt the other' emotions
Saved the others' life
We laughed together
And we cried together
We were sure we'd never part
But I guess I did something wrong
Because you are no longer here
And I know that when a good thing ends
It is always my fault – without fail
So I don't know what I've done
But I've chased you away
And you no longer love me
You love another
With all of the love that was once reserved
For others
You loved your mother more than life itself
And now I realize that you never really loved me
But you transferred your mother's love to me
Then you developed a little love for me
And now you have transferred any love
Stored within my soul to her
And that's OK – if you would only admit it
Stop playing the games with yourself
With your own minds
Tell the truth like you once did
Don't like
Not to yourself – and certainly not to me
I still know your thoughts
But you no longer know mine
The bond of our triangle has broken
The love for your mother – gone
I will not go with you to her grave
The love for your little sister – gone
I will not hike Timothy Lake with you
The love for me – gone
I will not wear jeans and pearls for you
You're gone – and it's my fault as always
But what have I done
I sit quietly and wait for your voice
To resound through my mind
With a response
I sit quietly day after day
Eyes closed head bowed
Hands folded in my lap
Not a muscle do I move
No expression upon my face
But I've stoppe4d now – I will fight this no longer
No tears will I shed for you
Because you're not here
And neither do you care