Bonds Broken

By Tara Nicole walker

12.30.02

Dedicated to Charles E. Lauderdale

You – the one person I thought that

I would never lose

Positive I would never lose

We were so close

Knew the others' thoughts

Felt the other' emotions

Saved the others' life

We laughed together

And we cried together

We were sure we'd never part

But I guess I did something wrong

Because you are no longer here

And I know that when a good thing ends

 It is always my fault – without fail

So I don't know what I've done

But I've chased you away

And you no longer love me

You love another

With all of the love that was once reserved

For others

You loved your mother more than life itself

And now I realize that you never really loved me

But you transferred your mother's love to me

Then you developed a little love for me

And now you have transferred any love

Stored within my soul to her

And that's OK – if you would only admit it

Stop playing the games with yourself

With your own minds

Tell the truth like you once did

Don't like

Not to yourself – and certainly not to me

I still know your thoughts

But you no longer know mine

The bond of our triangle has broken

The love for your mother – gone

I will not go with you to her grave

The love for your little sister – gone

I will not hike Timothy Lake with you

The love for me – gone

I will not wear jeans and pearls for you

You're gone – and it's my fault as always

But what have I done

I sit quietly and wait for your voice

To resound through my mind

With a response

I sit quietly day after day

Eyes closed head bowed

Hands folded in my lap

Not a muscle do I move

No expression upon my face

But I've stoppe4d now – I will fight this no longer

No tears will I shed for you

Because you're not here

And neither do you care