A/N: This is… strange, I'll say. Plow through it, though, it might have an effect on some. I hope it does. I want to get the word out.

            The world rushes around me in colors, lights, sounds, smells, feels, tastes. People tell me that I'm missing it all and plunge wholeheartedly into the chaos that we sum up in four letters. No one realizes that I am one of those few people who have found an island where there is one thing: me.

            I have been told countless times, in jest and not, to "get a life". I have been tempted to tell many, "I have a life. Where's yours?" but I know that they wouldn't see it as I do.

            More and more people become addicted to the "fast track" every day. As they're born, as they're dragged by caring people out of depression or grief. Few see the life outside of it. I don't mean a life of doing nothing, that's not a life at all. But life is most certainly not running around from place to place and occupying free time.

            I have heard countless people say that today's generation, my generation, has no future. We are the future, but we are heading nowhere. We are stereotyped and grouped by what we wear, what we study on our own, and what we read, if we read at all. My generation, I hate to say, has lost its individuality. But it's not the only one.

            As people rush to and fro, constantly running and screaming and experiencing, I sit back and watch it all. I don't do anything to those watching, but if someone tapped into my mind they would find more information than most could handle, and some who could handle it would ignore it. I don't do anything a lot times, except think. I don't think of any point or other. On whether the United States should go to war or needs a new president. I don't think about clothes and fashion. I don't think about school or books. I don't think about that poor four year old who was killed in a car accident two weeks ago, and still can't rest in peace because too many people are talking about him. I don't think about that poor sixteen year old who drowned trying to save his dad (this is true, and the time I did devote to him made me realize that he had more courage than most people, which very few people would have expected from someone who might fit the description "computer geek").

            We go to war when we need to, I can't change that. We get the president we have, and try to guess who put him there? Clothes and fashion last for about a year, and have no bearing past that (if you really want to know, I've decided that other than extreme temperatures, clothes are useless. This doesn't mean I'll go run around naked, but it does add to my idea that humans, although we have the potential to be great, can be quite stupid). School and books have a large bearing on my life, but I am forced to go to school and I think about books quite enough as it is, which is more than a good many people. I can't change the fact that people die, only say that they did, it's sad, now move on.

            When I sit down to think, it's about none of that. My answers to all of those came right now as I sat here typing this up. When I think, I don't have a point. My mind wanders, totally and completely free. Eventually it snags upon something, and veers more toward that. In the midst of the most heated argument or the saddest story all I have to do is let go and I'm calm once more. But then I'll have a problem coming back.

            Many of my revelations aren't made by my conscious mind. I hardly even realize them until they come up. I'm interested in things so vague and live in such a remote place that I don't do a lot, and have time to think. I am a sixteen year old who only has a driver's permit and who doesn't live near any large cities. Or towns. No malls near. No Wal-marts, either. I was born with a gift that let me cope, though. I was born with extreme intelligence.

            Let me go off on a tangent. I said that I am very smart not to flaunt the fact, but to let you have some idea how I came upon this way of thinking, and how I can do nothing for an evening but read and be perfectly content. It also will let you know why I can wear a cloak to school—yes, a cloak, those things that people in books wear? The green things that the Fellowship wore in the Lord of the Rings?—Anyway… Again, this is not to brag. According to a test that I was given to enter my school's gifted program, I have a higher IQ than 99.7% of my peers. Sorry, peers. It doesn't mean I'm smarter, it means I have potential. Everyone does, but I have to work less for it. Anyone could think in my way, but few discover it on their own, and few are content to. I am. This paragraph was only to tell you that, and that it is because I utilize my potential and don't worry about petty things that I live the way I do.

            Back to the point. I am involved in so very little outside of school that most people look at my life and think, "Wow. She must be very bored." Some even go so far as to add, "I should try and get her interested in something!" If they took a look into my mind they would see that I do not live a boring life, I just live a calm one.

            My thoughts whip me around from emotion to emotion as they call up different things, and since I take offense easily (which came from being so smart, so it's not all grand) I might become angry at something that happened a year ago. But then I continue on and realize, "That was a year ago. That was a day ago. That was a second ago. But they are all in the past." And therefore, I refuse to hate anyone. I truly don't hate anyone, although some annoy me easily.

            I've become repetitive, and I'm sorry. I also think I have said all I wanted to explaining it. Now I have a challenge.

            For one month, or if that's too long, for one week, give up everything. Everything. I don't mean the extra things that you can do without. School or work and a few—a few—household chores are all that's needed. Give it up. In your free time don't watch TV. Don't play a game. Don't get on the computer and talk to friends, or surf the Internet, or do more work voluntarily. Talking to friends is only allowed if the conversation follows what pops instantly into your head. While you sit on the couch and play dead, since I left you nothing to do, let everything go. Everything. This is easier for some than others, but it's possible. Then wander. After a few days or weeks you'll begin to realize stuff. I don't know what it is you'll realize, it might not even be your conscious mind that realizes it, but something will come. After that you'll be able to float off almost instantly. At that point you pick up what you gave up and start back on "life". But it'll be different this time. I have a feeling that no matter what you realize, if you seriously let go for at least a week or more, you should be calmer. It's indescribable. It's perfect.

            I'd say it's as good as love, but that'd be a little far for me to go, me who's never had a boyfriend.

            Thing is, I couldn't care less. I feel what I'm missing when I drift off into my mind. But when I drift off, I couldn't care.

            I'm not boring. While everyone else dives into chaos, thinking it's fun, I will stay in my own little island. I'm not doing nothing. I'm exploring. I'm exploring something far greater than the oceans I love, far greater than space, which my friend loves. And it's definitely far greater than the colors of life.

            I'm exploring my mind. And now I have no fear of death. I only wait to see what that's like, too.

Ending notes: I lost count on how many times I floated off while writing that. It's just so wonderful for me. Maybe not for you, but for me. I wrote this because I didn't really fully understand what I did until tonight, when I had a fight with my co-author. I'm not angry at her (much, that is, I am still human. But it's extremely minute) and I hope she's not angry with me (again, much. She's human too.) But she has stress, and when I recommended her to give stuff up, even down to the small projects she does around the house to fill her time, I got a no. A solid no.

Wow. Long notes. If this affected you any, even it was just to say, "that was a waste of time" REVIEW! I need to know! Besides, flames would be very nice right now, as I'm absolutely frozen!