Schizophrenia

Two people live in me

Both equally different

Yet sharing the same body and mind.

Living in two paranoid worlds.

Figments of imagination

But solid real as can be.

Tearing my mind apart

Forcing me to believe

What each other sees.

Things that are never there

Illusive dreams and wild hallucinations

A swirling fantasy

Dancing before my eyes

Voices never there

Call out to me

And I have to believe.

Though when I reach tentative fingers out

I only feel the substance called imagination

And nothing else.

Both compete to control me

Numbing my throbbing brain

Confounding my senses

Confusing my shattered memory

One pulls me towards sanity

The other dragging me into insanity.

And I lie torn and unsure

Where even my own senses cannot be trusted

Paranoia laughing at my helplessness.

My identity beyond my grasp

While I fumble in dark cells and blind walls

In this eternal prison of madness.

I am who I am,

Those words can my tongue never utter

Or my lips even form them

Because I myself – torn into two

Struggling on the boundary of sanity and insanity

Trapped within a prison-

Do not even know

Who I am.