30/1/03 – 1/2/03

I tried it

I got so angry

I wanted it all to end

So I tried to beat fate himself

My urge to meet the Grim Reaper

To meet my maker

The undertaker

I sat there

On the carpet

In my room

My little slice of paradise

Away from the tortures of life

I sat there and picked it up

It wasn't particularly sharp

Wasn't too surprised it didn't work

My anger flared up once more

And I chucked it back to the floor

Then I saw them

Glinting in the light

Calling me

Had they been expecting me?

I picked them up with care

Wonder shining in my eyes

My inner self was screaming for help

But I ignored him… again

I opened them

They smiled

Almost as if they knew what they would be tasting

Sweet flesh from a tortured child

Scissors were for cutting

Paper and things

Scissors weren't for slicing

Soft pale skins

I ran them gently across

Applying pressure as I went

Deeper and slower

I had to see the blood

Had to know I was alive

End my torture and my pain

Begin a new life free from blame

Too afraid to live

Too afraid to die

Every time I cry

I expect to see the tears

No emotion shown

It's inside I'm mixed around

Outside I am normal

Your average teenager

Close your eyes to my pain

It'll be all right in the end