JADE
By:Andrew Troy Keller

John Cronenberg was an antique dealer,who had just happened to be in Chinatown on a business trip--and looking for someone to be his next 'sucker'.
You see,to John and others like him,antique dealing could sometimes be known as a 'sucker's game'.
And compared to John,the other 'scam-artist' types were nothing more than merely Boy Scouts on their way to their annual jamboree,for John was the real master 'scam-artist' and he was giving the antique dealing business a giant black-eye.
However,on that particular visit to Chinatown,he had met someone who had made him forget about the business for a night of pure sensual pleasure.
She was sitting in a chinese restaraunt,eating some sweet and sour pork and drinking some green tea.
John had walked up to her and said,"I'm sorry,but I just couldn't resist your beautiful green eyes.What's your name?"
"My name is Jade.",answered the girl with a sudden smile on her lips."And your name is...?"
"I'm John Cronanberg.",answered John,after he had sat down in front of her."And I'm willing to shower you with jewels from all over the world."
Then,after she had placed her hand on top of his,Jade had sat up and said,"I've got a better idea.Why don't we go over to my place and I'll show you something from my personal collection?"
Of course,that was an offer that John was unable to refuse,even if the person was not a hot-looking babe.
So anyway,they had left the restaraunt and drove all the way to Jade's apartment.
And after they had entered the apartment,John had looked at a base sitting at a corner--a base that had nothing on it.
"Oh,don't worry about it.",said Jade,after she had removed all of her clothes."I just had it sent to some specialists to get it cleaned.It'll be returned soon.But,in the meantime...!"
And then,after she had helped John get all of his clothes off,they had began to loose themselves in a world of steamy passion.
While they were fondeling each other's bare bodies,both John and Jade had sat themselves down on the stand.
Then,John had placed his lips on Jade's ear and whispered,"You're such a beautiful creature.I wish I could stay with you--forever."
"Well,guess what,John.",said Jade,while rubbing her hands all over John's bare back."Your wish is going to come true."
Then suddenly,John had lost the ability to move his legs.
And when he had looked at his legs,he was shocked to discover that they had been turned into pure jade.
"HEY!WHAT'S GOING ON HERE,JADE?!",asked a frantic John,while he was trying to free himself from the humanoid venus flytrap.
Then,after she had let out a hearty laugh,Jade had looked at John and answered,"It's quite simple,John.For countless centuries,I had been waiting for a soulmate.And you,John Cronanberg are that soulmate,for you're going to be mine--forever!"
And after he had heard that,a terrified John had lifted up his head and--at the top of his lungs--yelled,"NOOOO!!!"
But it was too late,for after he had yelled out his final word,poor John Cronanberg was compleatly transformed into pure jade.
Just then,the apartment door had opened,allowing three people to enter the apartment.
The first person had looked at the second and said,"Chang,go see if all is ready for the ritual."
After Chang had gone to do as his master had requested,the master had looked at the third person and said,"Mai-Ping,you may prepare for the ritual."
And Mei-Ping has done so,by removing her robe and allowing her bare body to be exposed,for she was supposed to be Jade's soulmate.
But from what Chang,Mei-Ping and the master had discovered,they were too late,for Jade had already chosen her soulmate.
As for John Cronanberg,he had realized too late that the age-old saying is true--What goes around comes around.
Just ask John--that is,if you're able to perform a magic spell that'll make a jade statue come back to life.
And if you're ever in Chinatown--and you spot a beautiful woman with green eyes,it might be best to stay away from her,or you'll be sorry.