Dangerously Illogical

By Selenity Jade ()


The night was cold with a crisp, biting breeze. It didn't bother me. It was a mere annoyance as I stood here waiting. It was only bothersome because it meant I had to wait longer, much longer than usual. Otherwise, it might not have mattered.

It shouldn't have mattered, in fact.

I should not be here. I should not be waiting here. I should not be annoyed with the wind.

But I was.

It only delayed my target.

It made me wait longer.

I was beginning to think that I hated winter now, when before it did not merit an opinion either way. So many have passed, what was one more?

But this winter…

I waited.

For her.

It was stupid.

It was foolish.

It was addicting.

Gods, what a fool I was. I had much better things to do this night, as I had every other night these past few months. Yet, I still stood in the shadows of the run-down theater across the street from the old west-side bakery.

And I waited.

For three hours now, I had been waiting for the familiar bundled form to emerge from the dusty little bakery. She was late, and it was because of the damned winter wind. It was ironic how something so mundane and so insignificant to me would suddenly irritate me.

I wanted to see her.

I needed to see her.

The woman who had no name that I knew. The woman I had never met. The woman I had been following these past seven months.

I didn't know her name, but I knew her. I knew her routine. I knew her favorite restaurants, her apartment, her workplace, and her moods. Her name, though, still eluded me.

It hardly mattered, however. What was in a name? It was a Shakespearean phrase, and one I had learned well this year. What truly was in a name? Nothing.

It did not matter. What mattered was that she existed. She existed. She was real. She was… enthralling.

And damn it all, she was human.

How... illogical.

My ears almost perked at the telltale sound of the creaky bakery door opening, and I glanced across the street. I knew I would remain unseen. It was a given. I could fade into the most shallow of shadows, and no one would glimpse me there.

I was unused to hiding, but I could do it well when I wanted to.

I remained frozen as a dark bundled form emerged from the bakery, and I knew immediately it was my girl. I could feel her in my mind. She was finally done speaking with the owner, for whatever reason. She did that every Thursday night.

My girl was a woman of routine.

It made things easier.

She paused outside the door to reassure herself that her large, black suede coat was secure, then turned towards the east side of town, and briskly started walking. It was then that I finally moved and followed silently from the other side of the street. She wouldn't notice me. She never did. I was too good for that.

I watched her as we walked those four all-too-short blocks to her apartment. I watched how her tiny feet hit the pavement with soft little clicks that my sensitive hearing picked up with ease. I watched as she seemed to hunch inside of that large jacket, the wind too cold for her fragile being.

I was a junkie, and she was my next fix.

If I were anymore aware of how... ridiculous my obsession was, I might have had myself committed, or locked myself in my basement.

It didn't matter, though. It was dangerous, but not overly so. She was normal. Perfectly normal in everything she did. She followed such a mundane routine that it was almost humorous. It was a risk, but one I was willing to take.

I finally stopped just beneath a large oak tree across from her old apartment building as she turned to walk up the cement steps, carefully bypassing a child's bicycle that was conveniently in her way. Her neighbor's kid. One my girl often watched on the weekends.

Annoying little brat.

If I were more insecure, I might have recognized the jealousy in that thought. The jealousy and irrational anger towards everyone who knew her.

They knew her name when I did not.

Of course, that thought was always quickly dismissed as it entered my mind. The only thought I had as I watched her enter her password into the security system and step inside was more along the lines of deep yearning, desire, and a ridiculous, dangerous need to make her mine.

For all eternity.


AN: As I don't really have much to SAY here… since it just started. This idea came to me in my sleep… and it had to be written. I post as I write, generally. Be polite, and I always listen to criticism.

And this first chapter is for Rose. ^_^;